True Crime Daily: A Connecticut man was arrested after officers responded to a report of someone “humping trees” in a Naugatuck neighborhood.
Naugatuck Police responded to a report of “an unknown male in a back yard, half-dressed, humping trees, screaming, and eating branches” at about 3 p.m. on Thursday, Nov. 12. more
Put wood to the wood.
In his defense, that tree was a fine piece of ash.
I thought tree huggers were bad.
Knot guilty.
I bet the tree wishes for a rain storm and a lightning strike.
Hey. It’s Connecticut.
What’s the problem?
Just look at this mess.
https://politics1.com/ct.htm
This is your brain on drugs. Sizzle.
Both Parties lost a little Bark on that exchange…Dude’s Limber
Does it seem like things just keep getting weirder and weirder lately?
Or is is just me?
PHenry – and it doesn’t help that it’s Thomas Reuters headquarters.
The guy is a real sap, but there is a sliver of doubt that he’s guilty.
You know, that guy looks a little womanish.
It’s a knot hole, not a knot ho’…
Connecticut, home of spunky maple syrup.
Wood PECKER
He has a woody for trees.
CT??? Look for quick release with no bail and a grant of generous COVID support. Probably soon will receive forestry school scholarship from UConn too.
Be sure to check for squirrels.
Florida Man enjoying a Yankee holiday weekend?
…not long after we moved into a house across from a nicely landscaped Board of Education, whose arboreal splendor belied the terrible scholastic ideas within, we were outside when this guy in an ice cream truck came roaring up to the Board side of the street, hastily and sloppily parked facing into traffic, and RAN to one of the trees lining the walkway leading to the front doors of the place. There were many nearly identical trees there so I’m not sure what made this one special, but after rushing up to it he stopped and had what appeared to be a lunch and conversation with it, then gathered his things and calmly went back to his ice cream truck, and we never saw him or his ice cream again.
The tree was struck by lightning years later, and they cut it down and dug it up without our erstwhile Lorax ever noticeably re-emerging, or even leaving a rose where it used to be.
…maybe he found another tree, and what I saw was a divorce.
…I’ll never know…
He’s a sap for ‘naughty’ pine. The guy has a real pair of chestnuts’ on him and he listens to Spruce Springsteen too.
He’s a knotty boy. Nuttin’ butt coal fir Christmas fir him.
A real stump humper.
Last Tuesday, my Petey B was half naked in Connecticut all charged up after definitely ‘humping’ my unbleached elastic starfish!
He’s obviously a nature lover.
The tree said she’d rather be a fine piece of furniture than a sex object.
Naugatuck – that’s where the Naugatuck N Roll lead to the development of Naugahyde. I don’t know what that has to do with fxxcking trees, but there you go.
NO! NO! NO!
It’s “HUGGING” not “HUMPING!”
Sheeesh!!!
Member of the Sierra Club for sure
♪♫ Yew are so beautiful… ♪♫
While sitting in jail, he wrote a letter to his beloved tree: “Dearest, I pine for yew every minute of every day…my palm cannot take the place of your sweet syrup…I long for your aspen…if I can’t come around to see you for awhile, don’t be grouchy and don’t become a beech”.
Okay, just to be clear, while I may live in Corupticut that is NOT me under a different name.
Joyce Kilmer could not be reached for comment.
“I think that I shall never see
a poem as lovely as a tree.”
Well in his defense, the trees did have some crotches.
Perversion sure is branching out these days!
reminds me of that joke about peg leg and Wood Eye
Did he get any splinters?
OUCH!
You can take the boy out of the cunt tree…
I think this guy belongs to a Druid “splinter group”
This guy needs a date. Someone needs to play match-maker and set him up with that beauty from Texas with the pot-bellied pig!
As far as the tree was concerned, it was just another wood-pecker.
@Chasten
You’re as dumb as a log if you let your Petey B deposit his seed into your knot-hole.