High-Tech Urinals  – IOTW Report

High-Tech Urinals 

Shopping Mall High-Tech Urinals Provide Urine Tests for a Fee

Chinese netizens have been reporting the presence of high-tech urinals capable of conducting quick urine sample tests at shopping malls, scenic spots, and other busy urban areas.

Photos of a strange-looking urinal at a mall somewhere in Beijing’s business district have been doing the rounds online and sparking heated debates. Apparently, it features a digital display complete with a built-in payment processing unit that allows users to have their urine tested after relieving themselves. The urinal presumably has hidden sensors that analyze the urine for a bunch of markers, including calcium, glucose, protein, ketone bodies, ascorbate, and others. The information displayed on the screen suggests that the developer has obtained some patents for the urine testing technology, but the accuracy of the results is a matter of contention…

16 Comments on High-Tech Urinals 

  1. As a former telephone man I still piss in trash cans, big gulp cups, pringles cans, anti-static bags, and the occasional mud bucket.

    Fuckers aren’t gonna catch ME!

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  2. back in the day doctors used uroscopy, the tasting of a patient’s urine to determine ailments (worked well w/ diabetes … so I’m told)

    I’m envisioning a few million Chinese, gainfully whipped employed by the State, crouching on the other side of the wall of every urinal w/ a specimen cup

    “that one had a particularly flowerful bouquet w/ a hint of almond & saffron”

    … I may just have hit a new low tonight

    6
  3. My brother was working in Vaginja in one of those horrific telco 130 degree rooms and tossed a pics (plug in card) box onto the trash pile. He said the pics box just barely touched a pringles can that was in the pile, and the can spun open along the spiral seam and spilled ancient piss all over the trash pile. The buildings people called the fire department, and evacuated the building.

    Vaginja not only had the worst outside plant, the worst construction splicers… but also had the worst telephone rooms.

    Except that DC telco room in Temple Hills across from the CVS. The lights didn’t work, so they put jobsite halogens in there. I was in there for hours and came out with radiation poisoning. My skin peeled off, I was puking…

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  4. My local Walmart once had a urinalysis machine parked right beside the spare change counter that would give an accurate health outlook for the mere sum of $.25 and a small pee sample. I was skeptical, but gave it a try. It buzzed and whirred for a few seconds, then dispensed a short printout that said “You have tennis elbow. Keep it isolated and use a hot compress three times a day. Re-submit a urine sample in two weeks for a followup”.
    Fascinating, I thought, but still a bit skeptical, I wanted to give this gizmo a workout. I managed to catch a bit of the dog’s pee, my wife’s pee, the teenage daughter’s pee, and my own, but just for mischief’s sake, wanked a bit into the mix.
    I deposited my sample and $.25 into the machine, it buzzed and whirred and dispensed a printout:
    “Your dog has worms. Get it to the vet. Your daughter is on dope. Get her into rehab. Your wife is pregnant. It’s not yours. Get a lawyer. Lastly, if you don’t stop jerking off, your elbow isn’t going to heal”.

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  5. When I worked as as a mail handler for the Post office back in the mid 80’s we would occasionally have a plastic urine sample bottle sent thru the mail for drug tests rupture and explode all over the conveyor belt causing a wet, smelly mess. I still can’t believe that people would send piss samples thru the mail.

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