How The Government ‘Works’ – IOTW Report

How The Government ‘Works’

Friday, 18 June 2021, 20:45 MJA Uncategorized 15

Three contractors bid to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Kentucky and the third is from New Orleans. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

“Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $9,000. That’s $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $7,000. That’s $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$27,000.”

The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?”

“The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence.”

“Done!” replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan worked.

Remember … Four boxes keep us free: the soap box, the ballot box, the jury box, and the cartridge box.

“I love my Country … it’s the government I’m afraid of!”

h/t Joe6Pak.

15 Comments on How The Government ‘Works’

  4. You don’t know anything about government contracting if you think any of them would get to the final 3 if they weren’t someone’s relative or as the result of a “minority set aside”.

    7

  5. ….and Bad_Brad does government contracts and Joe6Pak sells him tooling….

    Yeppers, just wait for the fuck willy, goatfucker, why is he picking on me?, bullshit to follow…It’s gonna be GREAT.!….

    2

  8. Willy, you’re a tough guy to appreciate. On more than one occasion I offer to buy you dinner and drinks, and I’m not talking hot dogs and Schlitz beer either. I not one to go out of my way making adversaries so I’m impressed with your persistence in your attempt to do so. A lot of my friends (possibly myself included) have a well earned reputation for having some fun at another’s expense, so I can take your attempts at humor with a grain of salt. If you enjoy yourself that’s OK with me. And just for the record, even though I would be proud to do so, I’ve ever sold my buddy Brad any tooling. What I sell doesn’t apply to the work Brad does.

    3

  9. Chances are that it was a no bid contract and the Chicago guy gets the nod without delay of publishing the request for bids, waiting for contractors to submit bids, the government accepting bids and awarding the contract.
    The process is lengthy and useless.

    The No Bid Contract: The Chicago guys deal: $27,000 for the job, $5000 for the materials, $2000 for illegal immigrants to do the work, $5000 to the laborers Union, $2,000 to the agency government stooge, $13,000 to the contractor.
    At a later date send $5,000 as a Political contribution to the elected official who did a favor by awarding the no bid contact.
    Everyone gets a piece of the pie, even the big guy.
    The next contract is just a few weeks away, the Chicago guy will be doing good (It’s the Illinois way).

    2

  10. Cool Joe6Pak, Didn’t infer which contractor you all might have represented….New Orleans, Kentucky, Chicago. I would have suspected that you all probably represented Kentucky….just poking the weasels….

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