Things you can say in bed and at a job interview.
h/t Snowball the Sourpuss.
50 Comments on “I excel at multitasking”
Comments are closed.
iOTWreport.com ©2024 ----- iOTWreport is not responsible for the content of comments. All opinions in comments are solely the commenter's.
I don’t get it ???
Someone on another comment section introduced me to this one. I’ve been waiting weeks for the best moment to unleash it here
http://weknowmemes.com/2013/06/what-is-your-greatest-weakness-honesty/
“Gimme a coffee, bitch.”
No, not really. I think that would get you a kick in the balls and no validation for parking.
Dr. Tar, that’s a great meme.
You will always be happy with my SKILLS and I never never QUIT UNTIL THE JOB IS DONE.
Dr. Tar, this is for you…
“How much time do we have?coughcough I am impatient and I sometimes come across as impatient, which is not always attractive, and coughcoughcough get really frustrated with people who don’t cough understand what I think it’s going to take to make our coughcough country great tomorrow just like we were yesterday coughcoughcough”
I might have embellished that a bit.
I’m not like Antifa, I won’t leave you wondering why is this guy even allowed to breath the same air as me.
‘I like to start with a clean sheet’
1. I have extensive experience.
2. I don’t have that skill, but I’m a fast learner.
3. References available upon request.
4. I can type 60 words a minute (wink-wink).
5. I only smoke after the job is done.
6. I can stand for extensive periods, and lift over 100 pounds.
“Will I be given a card for my expenses?”
“I am available for some overtime”
“I always deliver on tight deadlines.”
I don’t know why they laid me off at my last job, I didn’t do notthin’.
“I have a forklift license.”
“I never punch out early.”
“I have no problem coming on short notice if necessary.”
I would like to be your up and coming partner.
“I’ve never worked at Miramax.”
“You have REALLY nice tit’s Megyn”….
I’m ready for a new more challenging position.
“I’m usually late, and stuff starts disappearing around the office.”
I guess it would depend on what kind of job you’re interviewing for.
I don’t mind getting my hands dirty
Sometimes I get off at 5, sometimes I get off at 6, and sometimes I get off later depending on the needs of the boss.
I am a team player and work well with others
My drawers are always clean.
I don’t enter through the exit unless asked to.
the doctor gave me a clean bill of health
I make sure the members are protected.
Do I have to sign a nondisclosure form?
What kind of benefit package do you offer?
so how much am I going to be paid?
Close of the interview:
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for having me.
I don’t mind having to take a piss test
I think my military experience will help here.
‘will I have to wear protection?’
‘do any tasks involve a harness & climbing spikes?’
I have extraordinary linguistic skills.
‘… bathroom breaks?’
The way you talk about the position makes me very excited.
‘I am an eager beaver’
Oh, that looks pretty hard. Can I give you a hand?
I’m sure I’d fit right in.
I usually come early
I’d be pleased to work under you
If I break the rules will I be penalized (penilized)?
‘I can hold my own … ‘
“I’m a hands-on kind of person.”
I have a commercial license
yes I am a citizen and over 18