WASHINGTON (WNB) – Sec. of State John Kerry finally answered critics on Monday by outlining retaliatory steps the administration is threatening to take against Russia. The statement is the strongest yet from the United States:
In the face of Russian aggression toward the peaceful, sovereign nation of Ukraine, the United States has little choice but to respond in kind. With unwavering resolve, I am announcing the following actions we will reluctantly take, unless Russia immediately withdraws its military forces from all areas of Ukraine:
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John Fkn. Kerry, “I was for communism before I was against it”.
6. President Obama will hold his breath until he turns red. No wait, he already is. Until he turns purple – no, his lips already are. Aww shit, until he passes out. Hillary beat him to that one. I’m out of ideas.
You can lead a horse to Ukraine but you can’t make him think
Ketchup boy is not qualified, to do anything.
@Stirrin, you read my mind!
President Stompy-Feet will then pout.
7. Will send out a fleet of Swift Boats to confront Russian war ships in the Black Sea.
Great picture.
8. President Obama will declare the Russian-Ukrainian conflict over and accept his second Nobel Peace Prize as the world’s expression of gratitude.
Well Obummer was going to consult, but there’s a party in town
That’s great jerk-off Kerry, give them 1 billion which we will in turn have to borrow from China.
Insert your favorite horse with the long face joke here. And I really doubt that Vlad’s scared of this incompetent nitwit. It’s not like Kerry or Barry are like Jengis Khan with a swarm of the Mongol hordes at their ready to kick Vlad’s butt.
The Russian resolve to maintain control of ports in Ukraine on and around the Crimean peninsula is not going to be broken by anything the US nor EU can muster, even if someone worth a shit was in charge. The best they can do is broker a deal whereby Russia maintains control of the Black Sea ports in the Ukraine in return for more Ukrainian autonomy provided that Russian gas keeps flowing to the EU over Ukrainian territory. The new Ukrainian government should consider themselves lucky if they can get that.
Russia’s actions in the Crimea are not a whole lot different than US actions in Panama back in ’89. All this “human rights” talk is a load of crap, since if Russia didn’t control the Crimea, the crazy rag head locals would, and screw that.
Well, I reckon Putin is behaving in a manner reminiscent of Jinjiss Khan, so giddyup, my fine horsey.
“Will send out a fleet of Swift Boats to confront Russian war ships in the Black Sea.”
lol “Christmas in Crimea”
Why the long face, Kerry?
I, John, Kerry, who fought in Vietnam, order you to leave the Ukraine, or I shall taunt you a second time!!
9. Will fart in Pooty’s general direction.
CNN missed a golden moment to add torches and pitchforks to the hands of the Ukrainian citizens following him during his “field guidance” inspection tour of Independence Square. As Lurch said, “it was moving”….uggghhh.
They need to quit sending Kerry all over the place.
He’s gonna be wore out by the time he has to run in the Kentucky Derby!
The US usually tries to position itself as the bastion of freedom fighting the foes of the little guy whenever it confronts one of the other overpowering governments on this earth. Yet, with our present leadership and direction, how will they do this? We are more communistic than the Russians.
Will send super 8 mm movie reenactments of his storming the beaches in his three month tour of Vietnam.
Boy, things really are turned up-side-down.
He’s a horse’s ass with the face of a horse.
I KNEW this was satire because there’s nothing in it about global warming.
let me guess Lurch unfriended Putin on Facebook.
Correct me if I’m wrong.
I’m so tired of the BS set forth by the repubes (including a monologue by Hanity) that Obummer hasn’t read the Commies correctly because Obummer is living in a world that should work according to his beliefs.
I’m calling BS. He’ was raised a Commie. He is a Commie, and whatever Putin is doing is fine with him. He knows the Commies are evil. He’s cut of the same cloth. The right is making excuses for the commie in the WH.
I’m guessing that Putin sized up the boy in mom jeans pretty quickly, and there has been nothing to change that assessment.
This is worldwide Opera Bouffe, with Obama playing the Naked Emperor and Kerry portraying the Prancing Pony.