Just The News: The legendary USS Constitution—the oldest ship in the world still afloat and one that was in service when President George Washington was in office—received its first female commanding officer this week, marking a major development in the ship’s 224-year history.
Cmdr. Billie Farrell is now captaining the warship, which was launched in 1797 after being built by the famed Hartt Shipyard in Boston. more
Sink it…..no, that won’t erase the shame.
Burn it to the waterline.
Oh no. Billie Farrell? I trust nothing anymore.
I’ve been on this boat-fucking pretty cool
Beautiful ship.
A fun place with or without the kids.
Nice gift shop with great photos too.
Bunker Hill is in walking distance.
It no longer goes out except for special occasions.
It is currently the only ship in the US fleet that has ever sank another ship.
“Billie”? Parents wanted a boy, huh?
Well thank God we have that box checked now. On to the next social justice crisis.
Diversity hire? Inquiring minds want to know.
Does that ship ever leave port?
Jethro
Only when they run out of Chocolate.
wake me when we get our first reversed-trans-gender-male-to-female commander
… that’ll keep ‘social justice’ ‘tards busy for a while
(this ‘first *’ crap is so boring)
true story, I was the first in my class in many things through most elementary & secondary school … ’cause my last name began w/ an ‘A’ … truly talented & deserving …. right?
WGAS. Really.
What bullsh*t. More woke crap.
The captain of that ship mostly deals with keeping it clean and neat, and handling public relations. It’s actually quite fitting that the captain be a woman, especially if she’s also the mess officer.
Now get me a sammich, hon.
Does she wear a periwig and a full beard?
Erik
Yes, but not on her face. She also has an eye patch on her one good eye. Arg.
HAA! And a peg leg from when she slipped in the bathtub.
Ay matey, how about a parrot on her shoulder?
What is between its legs???????
Probably no one is old enough to remember but as rusty warren said ” He’s got the cutest little dingy in the navy heave ho heave ho! I am OLD.
“Damn ye! Let Neptune strike ye dead Billie! HAAARK!
Hark Triton, hark! Bellow, bid our father the Sea King rise from the depths full foul in his fury! Black waves teeming with salt foam to smother this young mouth with pungent slime, to choke ye, engorging your organs til’ ye turn blue and bloated with bilge and brine and can scream no more – only when he, crowned in cockle shells with slitherin’ tentacle tail and steaming beard take up his fell be-finned arm, his coral-tine trident screeches banshee-like in the tempest and plunges right through yer gullet, bursting ye – a bulging bladder no more, but a blasted bloody film now and nothing for the harpies and the souls of dead sailors to peck and claw and feed upon only to be lapped up and swallowed by the infinite waters of the Dread Emperor himself – forgotten to any man, to any time, forgotten to any god or devil, forgotten even to the sea, for any stuff for part of Billie, even any scantling of your soul is Billie no more, but is now itself the sea!”
The Lighthouse, with farcical emendations.
Thar she blows! Right on.
Hopefully she doesn’t have a sunken chest.
“Billie Farrell, Master And Commander”
“Damn the resistance to pedos, full speed in the behind!”
From now on she’ll be known as Old Ironsides”.
The ChiComs are blowing past our Navy in size and technology…..but this is the real important stuff.
We’re soooo screwed.
Everything named “Constitution” now has an idiot in charge of it.
Erik—I knew that was Willem Dafoe’s “Thomas” as soon as I started reading. One of my favorite movies!
Dry gulched
JANUARY 23, 2022 AT 10:52 PM
“From now on she’ll be known as Old Ironsides”.”
…or the Constitution will be known as “Old Iron Deficient”, the menstruation, y’know…
“The USS Constipation (And Bloating)
erb, I enjoyed that movie, too. My son hates it, and my wife said I look like Dafoe. I thought it was a pretty good movie.
I was a bit tiffed that Jennifer thought I appear to be 66 years old… but it was just the likeness of the beard. HAA!
Guess it was inevitable that they would want something that’s floated on water that long to be in charge of something that retains it ..
I was mistaken it was Ruth Willis. Close enough.
“Yo ho ho” suddenly takes on a new meaning.
so … a Broadside on Old Ironsides? … shiver me timbers!
I heard she backed into another ship.
Ok, in all seriousness: I heard she can’t parallel-park the ship.
We’re Sunk !
THIS is how a woman serves on a sailing ship!
https://www.rmg.co.uk/sites/default/files/styles/full_width_1440/public/2021-06/Cutty%20Sark%27s%20New%20Figurehead%20Nannie%20%28%C2%A9%20National%20Maritime%20Museum%29.jpg?itok=IXi8XjGo
Cue the Gilbert and Sullivan.
Is she fat? Is she a lesbian? Does she treat officers under her in a completely shitty and unprofessional manner? Gotta check off all those boxes now.
(sigh) another ragboater….
if she also steers, she’s non-compass menace
@Joe
I remember Rusty Warren. She had a LP stereo called “Knockers Up”. It was 1950’s, early 1960’s era bawdy. An uncle used to have stag parties in his basement where he had a really cool bar set up. He had a projector and showed nudie girl films and sex romp films, all the while playing Rusty Warren on the record player. I was too young to attend but I found out later what went on.
“What’s ‘heave-ho’ mean?”
When you get seasick, and you’ve ‘ad too much ho'”
Does she get her own private Poop Deck?
“Old Iron Deficient”, wins this thread with a full ‘broadside’.