You just might be a Democrat if… (with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)
American Thinker:
By Eric Utter
If you believe it’s okay to kill your own baby in your womb but that hunting should be banned, you just might be a Democrat.
If you think invasive species are an existential threat to the United States but illegal aliens always enrich us with their presence, you just might be a Democrat.
If you think smoking cigarettes should be banned but smoking marijuana should be legalized, you just might be a Democrat.
If you think the song “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” should be kept off the airwaves yet happily sing along to Cardi B’s “WAP” (Wet A– P—-), you just might be a Democrat.
If you would eagerly suck Obama’s dick on the National Mall at high noon, you might just be a democrat.
If you think you’re the tolerant one while getting someone fired because they don’t think like you – you’re a democrap.
If you’re a dumb phuck and don’t give a shit about others….you ARE a democrat, liberal, commie, no-count, Marxist Piece of Shit.
If your life ambition is to dictate how people should lead their lives….YOU are a POS liberal asswipe.
If YOUR opinion is the ONLY one that matters….take a hike you liberal phucking commie.
Holy CRAP…..don’t get me started…..I may be up all night.
If you think Creepy Joe got 80 million legal votes you’re probably a demoncrat.
If you shut down your state’s economy and legislate that citizens be prisoners in their home, while you yourself are enjoying a yacht vacation or dinners out with your friends – you might be a democrap.
If you watch CNN and believe they tell the truth.
If you think children should have graphic sexual education starting in kindergarten, you might be a Democrat.
If you believe a fence along our southern border won’t work to keep bad people out but you live in a gated community…you just might be a Democrat.
If you support the “defund the police” movement but you call the cops if somebody’s dog craps in your yard…you just might be a Democrat.
If you move to Florida because in the state where you came from the cities have become shit-holes, the roads are full of pot-holes, the homeless camps smell like butt-holes, and govt employees’ pensions have become money-holes, and then in Florida you keep voting the same way you did before…you just might be a Democrat.
Edit that last one:…you just might be a Democrat ass-hole.
If you think boys and girls should use the same restroom at the same time…..YOU must be a pedophile democrat.
If you preach tolerance of “other cultures” but want to censor, cancel, or jail anyone who preaches Christianity…you just might be a Democrat.
Telling people “don’t do as I do, do as I say” you are a DemocRAT!
If you come to my church Christmas bake sale five minutes after it closes and gripe and curse because we’re out of cabbage perogies I don’t know what you are but bless your heart.
If you walk around nude smoking crack with underage children in the room, and on the phone bribing communist leaders, you are a DemoncRAT.
If you call a baby in the womb an incubating fetus, you just might be a liberal shit-fer-brains…
If you think Covid vaccine passports are just great, but voter ID’s are too burdensome…you are most definitely a piece of DemoCrap.
If you demand everyone not enjoy the great outdoors and then have your soy boi “husband” try to jump the line to get your boat in the water…you just might be a worthless waste of skin aka DemonRat.
If. you Believe that Carl Marx is the Messiah you are on the wrong planet and need to be dispatched to another one,
If you destroy the Senior year for every High schooler in the state, but open the section of the state where you plan to have your daughters grad party…
You are a no good, worthless, hypocritical, b***h Democrat.
My family has been up and we’ve been down but….my family has never been ‘up’ with a democrat in the WH.
I, of course, am referring to finances…..fortunately, we create our own happiness, which the dems fail to accomplish for anyone.
In fact, their idea of happiness is selfish, short-lived and pretentious.
If you instill depression on others….and you can still sleep at night….You are certainly a POS democrat.
When you preach support of the people but live in your ivory towers ignoring your own dictates…..You are nothing more than a hypocritical, liberal piece-of-shit.
If you commit federal felonies in order to get “your guy” into office….
If your dead, but still voted, you are NOW a democrat.
If you come to this website as “anonymous” and preach that we must give up on President Trump because of the “constitution”, you are probably a democrat TROLL.
https://iotwreport.com/76-of-141-republican-representatives-in-pa-send-letter-to-congress-asking-them-to-reject-states-20-electors/
.
If you believe that the gubmint is god you surely are a democrap.
If you want to ban guns while you’re protected by private, armed security guards, you’re most definitely a democrat.
If you take Off your clothes before you play with/lift up your dogs tail.
There is definitely a pattern here in these comments. Well deserved, I might add.
Hypocrisy, control, power, lying, cheating, self-(fill in the blank), and on and on, democrat is thy mantle.
If you think uneducated hicks in flyover country should pay off your student loans, you are a commie, douche bag Democrat.
If you political opinion comes from MSM, Colbert, Kimmel, Noah,………
If the only defense up have for your political views is “TRUMP IS SO BAD”.
Not only are you a democrat – your stupid.
If you’re 30 years old, live with your parents, and complain how life isn’t fair, when asked to pay for internet.
Can’t find a job with your BA in Liberal Arts, Czechoslovakian History, which your still paying for.
If you, like a former friend, say and believe that “1984 came and went and nothing happened”, you definitely are a democrat
If you participated in, or in any way benefited from child trafficing you are a democrat super hero.
If you’ve suffered suicidal thoughts and live with deep depression because of white guilt you’re an imbecile and a democrat.
If you think that Bill and Hillary clinton as well as Obama and Joe Biden are anything other than 3rd rate grifters you are a democrat.
If you think that Michelle Obama is a female then you’re a democrat.
If you think that many of the worlds most vexing problems can be solved with essential oils you are a democrat.
If you are considering sexual reassignment surgery for your 8 year old son then you are a democrat.
If you’re not troubled by trying to prolong your life by using products and treatments gained by the taking of another’s life then you are a evil democrat.
If you believe in your own infallibility then you are a democrat.
If you think Mike Obama is more beautiful and better dressed and smarter than Melania Trump, you are most likely a demoncrat.
If you marry your brother to get through immigration, you so are a demoncrap.
If you lie about an ankle break, you are so a dementedcrat.