A doctor from France says: “In France, the medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man’s testicles; we put them into another man, and in 6 weeks he is looking for work.”
A German doctor comments quietly: “That’s nothing, in Germany we take part of the brain out of a person; we put it into another person head, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work.”
A Russian doctor says boasting: “That’s nothing either. In Russia we take out half of the heart from a person; we put it into another person’s chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work.”
The U.S. doctor laughs and answers loudly immediately: “That’s nothing my colleagues, you are way behind us….in the USA , about 7 years ago, we grabbed a person from Kenya with no brains, no heart, and no balls….we made him President of the United States, and now……. the whole damn country is looking for work.”
And … I’m not laughing. Son of a…
What sig94 said…
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest, then I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough…
@Rat Fink: You should apply for the job opening at the circus. It requires being shot out of a cannon, and they could use a man of your caliber.
😉
Chinese proverb:
“Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.”
Chris Wallace: So, Mr. Trump, you want to be President of the United States. Could you tell the American people what your weakest trait is Sir?
Mr. Trump: Well Chris, I feel that my weakest trait, is my honesty.
Chris Wallace: (Smirking) Well Sir, I don’t think honesty can be considered “a weak trait.”
Mr.Trump: Chris, I don’t give a fuck what you think!
Mexican Proverb, Never Trust a man that doesn’t like tacos.
Tyrone was having trouble in school. His teacher was always yelling at him, “You’re driving me crazy, Tyrone. Can’t you learn anything?”
One day Tyrone’s mother came to school to see how he was doing. The teacher told her honestly that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and that she had never had such an unmotivated and ignorant boy in her entire teaching career.
Tyrone’s mom, shocked at the feedback, withdrew her son from school and moved out of Detroit, relocating to Cleveland.
Twenty-five years later, the teacher was diagnosed with irreversible cardiac disease. Her doctors all strongly advised her to have open heart surgery, which only one surgeon at the Cleveland Clinic could perform.
Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was remarkably successful.
When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw the handsome young doctor who headed her surgical team smiling down at her.
She wanted to thank him, but could not talk.
Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something, but quickly died.
The doctor was shocked, wondering what went wrong so suddenly.
When the doctor turned around to leave the room, he saw Tyrone, now a janitor at the Clinic, had unplugged the life-support equipment in order to plug in his vacuum cleaner.
If you thought that Tyrone had become a heart-surgeon, there is a high likelihood that you will vote for Hillary.
Let’s start the day off right with an IOTW Jokefest!
Fifteen years ago, Johnny Cash, Steve Jobs, and Bob Hope were all still alive.
Today, we have no cash, no jobs, and no hope.
Have a great day, everyone!
I used to be a lifeguard till some blue kid got me fired!
… and then I shat myself!
hahahahaha … get it? Huh?
Number 7!
well, some people can tell em, and some can’t …