TrueCrime: New Jersey – A New Jersey man on the runs from police pooped in his pants in an attempt to scare police off.
The stinkbug’s tactic ultimately failed, as Linden officers cuffed Kyle Chambliss, 27, after a messy struggle at about 4:21 a.m. on Sunday.
I’m sensing a theme tonight.
What body fluid post is in the iotw bullpen?
And both officers argued who was going to transport him in whose car!
the poopin’ pervert was pepper sprayed prior to the police pouncing on the prick and putting him in the patrol car where he proceeded to piss in his pants
totally believable … my Dad, at one time, was a Montgomery Co., Md cop & used to regail me w/ tales of Law & Order. One time, there was a rash of construction site Port-A-Johns being damaged & tipped over. (the 60’s, ’70’s & ’80’s were boom times for construction in the DC area) The ‘dragnet’ that ensued started to map all the sites & try to predict where the ‘Mad Tipper’ would strike next … they staked out several sites & finally bagged their man … when they nabbed him. It was obvious that he was a ‘souvenier hunter’ as his pockets were filled with contents from the bottom of the Johns …. needless to say no one wanted to transport him back to the station … so they declared a ‘medical emergency’ & had an EMT squad transport him to the nearest Hospital to be admitted …. after being hosed down
His knickname was forever changed to ‘The Mad Crapper’ …. Dad had some great stories … though some didn’t pass the ‘smell test’
Crap!
Dey love him at the jail
Smells like New Jersey.
Oh, please! There is a Hess oil refinery in Linden. The air quality is so disgusting that I doubt a few turds thrown into the mix would make much of a difference.
When I was working the university section I got a call to investigate the “Phantom Shitter” who left his signature calling cards in classrooms. It was one of the janitors.
These people are why police cars always have vinyl seats. Just drive into the wash bay and power wash the back seat. And always check under the seats before you begin your shift. Never know if the cop from the prior shift stuffed a dead midget or a cruise missile under there. Amazing what you’ll sometimes find under the seats of a police car.
Sig, how’s you bust the janitor?
This happened a number of years ago – a Federal Marshal (who we both knew) asked a buddy of mine if he would charter his plane out to the government to fly him and a prisoner to Washington DC, which of course he agreed to do.
So he shows up with this large, mean looking prisoner, (the Fed wuz larger BTW) all chained up and puts him in the back seat and they took off. Anyway, they were talking away the time and Phil (the pilot) forgot to transfer fuel from the right tank to the left (was running on the left tank) and the engine ran out of fuel. Of course the first thing Phil did was to grab the throttle and close it quick to keep the cold air out of the engine, then immediately went for the fuel transfer valve down on the floor by his seat. He got fuel back to the engine and restarted it no problem… except for the horrible smell of shit! They looked back and the big mean-ass prisoner was white as a ghost and trembling telling them “When you reached down by your seat I swear to God I thought you guys were gonna punch-out on me!”
Needless to say the plane got a good cleaning after that!
@ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ: Here’s a story for you! LOL!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2006749/Man-hides-portable-toilet-Hanuman-Yoga-Festival.html
@grool – This dragged on for weeks until other janitors spotted him, took statements from them. He dumped right on the students desks. No, I dd not collect any evidence.