Last week, on the subject of the Left-Wing’s fake news, Abigail Adams said:
Hey MJA- Wouldn’t it be kinda fun to do a prediction game based on what we *think* will be the next headline?
And I thought, Hey Abigail, yes… Yes it would.
Then, ChristianPDX responded with this:
Brian Stetler Comes Out: Finally admits he is head diva at CNN.
Lemon and Cooper respond.
*Meow!*
Here are mine:
Chelsea Manning Suffers Head Injury- Annoys Doctors By Only Using Emoji Symbols To Communicate.
John McCain Memorial, ‘Maverick!’ Begins World Tour In Syria.
Candy Crush: Michelle Obama Leaves Former Pres. Obama, Begins Dating George W. Bush.
Climate Change To Affect Daylight Length This November.
What do you have to report?
Twitter rebrands itself as an ‘awful hellscape of hatred and stupidity’ that is a nice distraction from the awful hellscape of hatred and stupidity that is real life.
David Hogg breaks twig like arms trying to break twig.
“We get THREE scoops!” MSNBC, CNN have joint ice cream social in front of White House.
Joe Biden admits that he bought all of Hillary Clinton’s used underwear at the White House garage sale and puts them on his head while dancing to Tom Jones version of “Delilah”..https://youtu.be/Ypy0QWM1pLc
“Arizona Governor Doug Ducey Appoints a democrat To Complete McCain’s Term”
An anonymous source confirmed Ducey was heard to say “What difference, at this point, does it make?”.
To all the grammar nazis – Yes, I did not capitalize the “d” word. There is nothing proper about them…
The former ‘Red Hen’ restaurant re-opens as row of vending machines.
Hillary Apologises to America
David Hogg in intensive care after yelling at preschooler with a stick shaped like gun. Preschooler released into parents custody.
The Onion and Babylon Bee switch to real news.
Nat’l Inquirer: Senator Graham begged to be interred with mentor McCain.
President Trump takes a day off winning for America.
Democrats still unhappy.
Climate scientists travel to desert, complain of unusually high heat
“Rosenbergs Come Back From the Dead, Demand Hillary Receive Equal Justice for *ALSO* Selling Nuclear Secrets to Russia”
Bernie Sanders reported as missing after giving speech in Venezuela on the virtues of Socialism.
Greenpeace Disrupts Shriners Parade:
Say Tiny Cars Drive Climate Change
Netflix begins John McCain drama series with 0bama as star.
Hillary Clinton confesses to trading all the Uranium for a case of ‘Stoli” and two quarts of Borsht…
Antifa Attack “Nazi” Hare Krishnas at LAX
Shock and dismay…John McCain still dead. Trump blamed.
Clinton Foundation returns all money to Haiti
“It was the right thing to do”
Hillary Clinton manages the stairs unattended, like a big girl
‘IT’S A CRIME!’ NY Fashion Week disrupted by shabbily dressed Antifa rioters wearing Kmart bandanas and shoes
NFL installs Catholic Church Pews on the sidelines to accommodate the kneeling players.
6 dead in Chicago shootings. People blamed.
Bruce “Caitlyn” Jenner in Intensive Care:
Forgot He Was Pre-Surgery, Tried to Remove Tampon
Chelsea Clinton spends Father’s Day with Web Hubbel
Former President Obama gives speech without saying I, me or my once.
Ninth Circuit Finds for California: Republican Party Causes Cancer
Rod Rosenstein says he likes to be called “Rodman” and claims to have once dated Carmen Electra…
Special Counsel led by Robert Mueller declares no Russian Collusion by the Trump Administration during the 2016 election.
Maxine on reddit Tonight: Axe Me Anythin
“That Tall Antenna Signals More Than Status: Retro Shortwave Inside the Beltway”
California claims beer might cause birth defects in unborn children, yet blames beer for those unborn children…..Budweiser is named in 50,000 paternity suits in L.A. county alone….
Bruce Kluliss sweeps all Washington US House races as right in candidate.
Hillary announces she is not a Lesbian. She is gender fluid and the days she and Huma are having “private” meetings, Hillary self identifies as a 25 year old Muslim male.
Hawaiian Judge orders Supreme Court disbanded after latest reversal
French President Macron: At This Point What Difference Does it Make
Couple receives 23 And Me results proving he and his elderly wife are mother and son. Story continued on page 22A….
Dateline 2032: Mueller gives immunity to Donald Trump’s deceased 4th grade teacher, subpoenas conduct grades, and all known Trump 4th grade associations in his ongoing Russian Collusion investigations
obama administration gives itself yet another award for being there for 8 years.
ROBERT MUELLER SUBPOENAS TRUMP’S BABYSITTER
84 Year-old still has drawings President Trump made as a toddler
Uh oh – Groucho beat me to it, kinda.
Shock video of David Hogg workout confirms suspicions that he is the only male on the planet who can lift less than Barrack Obama
Canada criminalizes clothing – discriminatory to plants and animals.
James Comey calls a presser at ‘Dunkin’ Donuts’ to prove once and for all that at 6′ 8″, he can still dunk…
Islam – New Church of England
Moochelle was darted then chipped so Barry could keep track of her.
Sarah Huckabee Sanders just finally beats the fuck out of April Ryan…No charges were filed as it was deemed necessary and long overdue….
McCain to be exhumed, daughter finds 22 more unread pages from eulogy speech.
Melania comes out…She IS the Russian Connection.
Where is John McCain? Funeral Fiasco, Coffin was Empty.
Venezuela wins Weight Watchers Award for most collective weight loss.
Sugar industry files slander suit against Diabetes
Scripps National Spelling Bee to hire Al Sharpton as national spokesperson to become more inclusive and reach a larger television audience. Will consider Ebonics in future rulings during competition to show respict to diverse and marginalized communities.
“That’s my nose” Sen. Chuck Schumer responds to actress’ ‘unwanted sexting’ accusations.
‘We couldn’t understand him!’ Restaurant fights Sharpton’s racism claims after ordering ‘Skrimps’ and not getting any.
I was reading iotw when AA made this suggestion.
Shortly thereafter, Ron DeSantis made a comment about “not monkey up the good economy.”
I thought, “we’ll, guessing the race card was easy, but I would never have guessed this context.”
Oh, check out the screen BING.com has today for Labor Day.
Pretty cool.
LocoBlancoSaltine- I saw that. I use BING. They make an effort to do holiday/American holiday stuff much more than google does.
Army Issues Camo Headscarves to Muslim Women Special Forces
MJA…… This should be a regular Monday morning feature:
The News We Would Rather Read This Week.
…..Lady in Red
Obama responds to zoning violation at his chicago fortress by sayng, “I didn’t build that!”
Biden displays his new AR-15 at Dem rally declaring that “guns are too easy to get if I can get one!”
Al Gore treated for frostbite alter speaking at late fall Global Warming conference in Montana.
Three robots destroyed, ten injured when self-driving truck rams self-driving car on I-5 in California
AI robot buys gun with fake ID shoots toaster that spurned advances.
Trump Dedicates New Smithsonian MAGAllery
Hillary Clinton Requires All Interns Wear Paper Scrubs and burn Them After Each Shift
Joe Biden requests Ariana Grande as intro singer at future press conferences.
Andy Gollum chosen for lead star in King Kong movie remake.
Nike stocks dive after choosing Kapernick as spokesman.
Seriously, this is a real link.
https://www.breitbart.com/news/kaepernick-fronts-nikes-just-do-it-ad-campaign/
LOL! You guys did great!
Dang! I somehow missed this thread!!
“Mueller Accuses Himself of Collusion With Trump” !!!
That’s right up there with the Nike/Kapernick headline. Oh, the Nike thing is true?! That’s hysterically funny because that sort of headline is exactly what I had in mind when I was thinking of absurd headline predictions.
I’ve got a fiver on MJA’s headline prediction. Any takers?
I’m just not creative enough to think of any, myself, but I’ll give it a go:
“Revealed: Bush Family Members, Lead by Jeb, Changed Registrations to Democrat in Order to Vote for Clinton in 2016 Election.”
“Omorosa’s Emotional Admission: “I Just Wanted More Attention!””