NAMES OF BARS OBAMA WOULD HANG OUT IN Contest Winner… – IOTW Report

NAMES OF BARS OBAMA WOULD HANG OUT IN Contest Winner…

The insomniacs definitely got the jump on me.

Last night I had begun this little Obama Bar riff in the post entitled, “Obama On Dem Loss – “Too Many Bars Have Fox News On the Tee Vee”. After a few contributions like “Fort Dicks”, “Orifice Max”, “The Muslim BrotherHunk”, “Rear Admiral’s”, “Club Manwich”, and “Pole Vaulter’s” it was beginning to look like it was just me and Perspective dukin’ it out.

So, I turned off the computer for the night.

Then, BFH, who never sleeps, except when he’s in the tub, picked it up and I saw this morning that I was judging this contest. And no, I will NOT be picking my own entry. (Ted Baxter voice: “I COULD, y’know!”)

The criteria for tallying entries is actually one that has served our country well for over 200 years. I’m referring, of course, to The Electoral Junior High.

This system derives it’s name from the fact that, generally speaking, the more juvenile the entry, the more apt I am to like it.

The prize will be a big one: The winner will get to pick the next Trump cabinet member. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I haven’t been able to reach the President-Elect just yet but I’ll keep trying. (He must be busy or something.)

Honorable mentions that made me laugh:

Rusty B. – The Manhole

Ted Nougat – International House of Mancakes

Bamo – The Inverted Stool

Chalupa – Malcolm’s Exes

Bad_Brad – The Male Box

Chalupa – Al’s Jizzeera

Ted Nougat – Fundamental Trans Formation Club

judgeroybean – Push Your Stool Inn

All Too Much – The Closet

MJA – Suspicious Package

MJA – The Happy Hamster

Cato – Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

Blink – South End Union

RacKAttacK – The Meating Room

Joe O’C – Buns N Hoses

Hard to narrow it to one but I have to so my pick goes to….

Ted Nougat for the brilliantly funny “The Exit Pole” which is hilarious on so many levels.

Nicely done, Ted! The next Trump cabinet pick is yours.

Disclaimer: If you choose Lindsay Graham the whole contest is null and void.

43 Comments on NAMES OF BARS OBAMA WOULD HANG OUT IN Contest Winner…

  1. Whale oil beef hooked. I lost again even with the best entries.
    You’re a racist, deplorable. homobophobic. prick Irony. LOL great show. The manhole, The male Box, for fuck sake. The Ramrod was the place to go in NYC. I met BFH there once years ago. Hee, hee.

  2. Tommy, I think it’s a rigged system. And I think it has something to do with Furs sleeping habits and Black Male. That was going to be my next entry but I fell asleep.

  3. Wowser, I won a spot on the honorable mention list. Thanks.
    All I ever won before was the military draft in 1972 , and 15 years later a cheap tv given away by a gas station.

  4. Thanks! I’m honored to be able to pick a cabinet member for the Trump administration. How about Dennis Prager as Secretary of the Department of American Greatness?

    Excellent pick!!! – Irony

  5. If I win I’m picking myself for his Cabinet.
    I want to be Secretary of dreaming up cool stuff for NASA to do.
    Like building bases on the moon for practice for Mars, but more importantly, we need to go to the moon so I can retire there eventually.
    Imagine the golf courses! Hole 6, Par 5, 45 miles.
    If you fall you can call the paramedics on the way down.

  6. Aw right,,,Ted Nougat needs to be stripped of his authority….Dennis Prager?…when he could choose Sofia Vergara for Secretary of the trampoline?….or Meg Ryan for Secratary of anything that might have touched my thumb…Raquel Welch for Secretary of….Goddam you’ve alway been beautiful…

  7. “I’ve fallen asleep so many times in the tub people are starting to call me Whitney.”

    Sooo, a couple questions. What of the following is also in the tub, water, pillows, blankie, chickens, woman, electrical appliances, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea replica Submarine, Mermaid, several issues of Mad Magazine, anatomically correct inflatable doll?

  8. Well, there all funny an shit … an confabulations Nugget … but, y’know, just cuz I couldn’tna thunk of anything funny don’t mean htat I should’nta notta won somethin!

    I meen, I had the funnyest one never, but soon as I got to tiping it, somebody elese wood tipe sunthin an then I’d forget … it ain’t my fault!

  9. Dont want to rain on your parade, Ted, but isn’t the male penis more of an entrance pole, as opposed to an exit pole.

    So that’s one level where “Exit Pole” doesn’t work for me; because it reminds me that eventually I do have to pull out and get on with the rest of my life

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