My parrot breaks her pecans open over the side of her platform in our kitchen and sometimes a piece or two you miss with the broom, you find in the morning with your bare foot. Wakes your ass up faster then the coffee you were going to make.
Man I hate that.
Corona bottle caps on bare feet the morning after all the drunk neighbors show up at my place. Sometimes the bastardos start with out us.
The only thing I can recall as the most goodest thing that ever came out of the divorce.
Frankly, I’d gladly trade child support payments for having to walk down the hallway blindfolded. every night.
The good thing is, that I survived it. And, my daughter now knows that I wasn’t the monster.
stepping on dry dog food when making coffee SUCKS
Frankly, I’d gladly trade child support payments for having to walk down the hallway blindfolded. every night.
The good thing is, that I survived it. And, my daughter now knows that I wasn’t the monster.
@GOODSTUFF:
stepping on dry dog food when making coffee SUCKS
Yes it does. But worse is stepping wet dog food and not knowing right away whether it is fresh or, um, “used”.
You bolt up out of bed in that middle ground between drunk and terminally hung over, disoriented you pinball off the downstairs couch on account of drunkardly downloading snoring 2.0, not knowing if you’re going to puke or shit to get yourself a drink of water and BAMO motherfacking lego land mine!
Actually that shark just discovered that Hillary ordered a drone strike on him.
My grandkids (I have 9 of them) visit every weekend. Mondays suck
My kid flipped over one of those office carpet protectors, with a million plastic spikes to grip the carpet, and left it on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. I hit that real hard one morning. He is lucky to still be alive.
A memorable Christmas when my oldest son was little was the one where he received not one but TWO giant Lego kits, and a Lite-Bright game.
You haven’t lived until you stumble through the living room and the carpet is a minefield of those little killer bricks AND hard, pointed plastic pegs.
Kneeling on concrete and catching shards of plastic that held nail gun cartridges together. That hurts like hell.
As my father would say, “It will stop hurting when the pain goes away”.
Thanks pops.
My brother had a 3 point check list for gifting my sons.
It had to have at least one of these qualities. Bonus if it had 2 or more.
A. Does it have thousands of pieces to it?
B. Does it make a lot of noise?
C. Does it shoot projectiles all over the house?
Once the mayhem was under way he would have a big grin on his face: “My work here is done. I’ll be leaving now”
Me: ‘Thanks for coming. And f**k you. Again.’
P.S. Funny how different people can be. Everything I ever stepped on was worth having the kids 24/7 after the divorce. Temporary small stuff in the overall scheme of things. Signs of life. I knew I would miss the fingerprints on the fridge once they were gone.
P.P.S. Still wondering about MJA’s answer on Chalupa’s b-day : Legos fit nicely there. 😀
Call me a princess with a pea, but having a grain or two of sand/dust/earth in my flipflop causes me to stop and make things right.
Pushy, my last GF was like that. I even used that same pea/mattress analogy. Except, if she knew a grain of sand was in anyone’s shoe, it bothered her.
It made things impossible for her to enjoy life since there was always something that wasn’t perfect. After a few years of fixing things in life to give her relief I realized there was no end – the answer wasn’t external.
The upside was every T was crossed, every I dotted and every penny found on the balance sheet. If it could have stopped there it wouldn’t have been any problem at all. She just couldn’t turn it off.
I still feel a bit sorry for her since it is not really her choice.
Stepping on upturned acorns bare foot teaches one to always put something on when venturing under the oaks.
Making a toy pistol out of legos and taking it to kindergarten to show your friends, now that really hurts.
Heh, gave my nephews rubber band six shooters and the industrial size box of bands.
According to my brother, rubber bands cooking on the wood stove stink pretty bad.
He’s 10 years younger, payback for all the damn Matchbox cars I stepped on.
Nothing like the pain of a top bunk exit onto a tiny metal car or Lego.
Had my own room until he came along.
World’s favorite gift from a grandparent to a 5 year old – 5000 pc. jigsaw puzzle.
Payback’s a bitch, sweetie.
I assure you, Dadof4, aside from the wayward grain of sand, I’m a total slob.
@ Joe, Thanks for the laugh. I’ve just had to deal with one of those bastards, and man, are they ever hard to extract from office carpeting. Flip it over, says I. It’ll be easier to move.
Uhm, no. Hurts like hell.
I have hired a plumber. Children said ‘let’s play with Legos in the bathtub’. Sure, whatever gets you involved with soap and water without bickering. What could go wrong? That was when they were all smaller, Legos and kids both.
My parrot breaks her pecans open over the side of her platform in our kitchen and sometimes a piece or two you miss with the broom, you find in the morning with your bare foot. Wakes your ass up faster then the coffee you were going to make.
Man I hate that.
Corona bottle caps on bare feet the morning after all the drunk neighbors show up at my place. Sometimes the bastardos start with out us.
The only thing I can recall as the most goodest thing that ever came out of the divorce.
Frankly, I’d gladly trade child support payments for having to walk down the hallway blindfolded. every night.
The good thing is, that I survived it. And, my daughter now knows that I wasn’t the monster.
stepping on dry dog food when making coffee SUCKS
Frankly, I’d gladly trade child support payments for having to walk down the hallway blindfolded. every night.
The good thing is, that I survived it. And, my daughter now knows that I wasn’t the monster.
@GOODSTUFF:
Yes it does. But worse is stepping wet dog food and not knowing right away whether it is fresh or, um, “used”.
You bolt up out of bed in that middle ground between drunk and terminally hung over, disoriented you pinball off the downstairs couch on account of drunkardly downloading snoring 2.0, not knowing if you’re going to puke or shit to get yourself a drink of water and BAMO motherfacking lego land mine!
675 pounds crushes them 🙂
Actually that shark just discovered that Hillary ordered a drone strike on him.
My grandkids (I have 9 of them) visit every weekend. Mondays suck
My kid flipped over one of those office carpet protectors, with a million plastic spikes to grip the carpet, and left it on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. I hit that real hard one morning. He is lucky to still be alive.
A memorable Christmas when my oldest son was little was the one where he received not one but TWO giant Lego kits, and a Lite-Bright game.
You haven’t lived until you stumble through the living room and the carpet is a minefield of those little killer bricks AND hard, pointed plastic pegs.
Kneeling on concrete and catching shards of plastic that held nail gun cartridges together. That hurts like hell.
As my father would say, “It will stop hurting when the pain goes away”.
Thanks pops.
My brother had a 3 point check list for gifting my sons.
It had to have at least one of these qualities. Bonus if it had 2 or more.
A. Does it have thousands of pieces to it?
B. Does it make a lot of noise?
C. Does it shoot projectiles all over the house?
Once the mayhem was under way he would have a big grin on his face: “My work here is done. I’ll be leaving now”
Me: ‘Thanks for coming. And f**k you. Again.’
P.S. Funny how different people can be. Everything I ever stepped on was worth having the kids 24/7 after the divorce. Temporary small stuff in the overall scheme of things. Signs of life. I knew I would miss the fingerprints on the fridge once they were gone.
P.P.S. Still wondering about MJA’s answer on Chalupa’s b-day : Legos fit nicely there. 😀
Call me a princess with a pea, but having a grain or two of sand/dust/earth in my flipflop causes me to stop and make things right.
Pushy, my last GF was like that. I even used that same pea/mattress analogy. Except, if she knew a grain of sand was in anyone’s shoe, it bothered her.
It made things impossible for her to enjoy life since there was always something that wasn’t perfect. After a few years of fixing things in life to give her relief I realized there was no end – the answer wasn’t external.
The upside was every T was crossed, every I dotted and every penny found on the balance sheet. If it could have stopped there it wouldn’t have been any problem at all. She just couldn’t turn it off.
I still feel a bit sorry for her since it is not really her choice.
Stepping on upturned acorns bare foot teaches one to always put something on when venturing under the oaks.
Training for parenthood.
…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioZDn0fkhAA…
Making a toy pistol out of legos and taking it to kindergarten to show your friends, now that really hurts.
Heh, gave my nephews rubber band six shooters and the industrial size box of bands.
According to my brother, rubber bands cooking on the wood stove stink pretty bad.
He’s 10 years younger, payback for all the damn Matchbox cars I stepped on.
Nothing like the pain of a top bunk exit onto a tiny metal car or Lego.
Had my own room until he came along.
World’s favorite gift from a grandparent to a 5 year old – 5000 pc. jigsaw puzzle.
Payback’s a bitch, sweetie.
I assure you, Dadof4, aside from the wayward grain of sand, I’m a total slob.
@ Joe, Thanks for the laugh. I’ve just had to deal with one of those bastards, and man, are they ever hard to extract from office carpeting. Flip it over, says I. It’ll be easier to move.
Uhm, no. Hurts like hell.
I have hired a plumber. Children said ‘let’s play with Legos in the bathtub’. Sure, whatever gets you involved with soap and water without bickering. What could go wrong? That was when they were all smaller, Legos and kids both.