Paper Straws Suck – IOTW Report

Paper Straws Suck

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JUST IN – Paper straws deemed “co-friendly” contain potentially toxic chemicals which could pose a risk to people, wildlife and the environment, a study has found – Sky News.

21 Comments on Paper Straws Suck

  1. The same thing that gives the gift of testicular cancer for wiping your ass. They’re attacking you at both ends with the same thing. Straws made with toilet paper, who had that brilliant idea?

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  2. I keep a fist full of McDonalds straws in the glove box of my vehicles. That way if I go to this outfit called Costco that has a deli up front and purchase a mocha smoothie I have a usable straw to enjoy it with instead of a paper straw that is all but unusable.

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  3. Paper straws are just the latest Poop du Jour from the Left. The amount of plastic used in everything else simply overwhelmes the plastic used in straws.
    Enjoy suckin on that poop shake with a paper straw there Lefties!

    5
  4. Perhaps we should get Hunter’s opinion on which straws are better. Personally, I had better luck with plastic than paper. Either way, one end needed to be beveled for optimum performance.

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  5. I still remember my mom always got extra straws at McD’s before the plastic ones arrived.
    Paper straws couldn’t survive a thick milkshake without collapsing into pulp halfway thru.

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  6. I’ve only ever had one restaurant give me a paper straw and it was Kansas of all places. I stuck it in my drink not realizing it was paper at first and took one drink and pulled it out. I’ve always kept plastic straws in my purse, mainly for my kids when they were little and then got back into the habit when I started having grandkids, so luckily I had plastic straws in my purse and pulled one out and used it and then had to give everyone else at the table one.
    When the waitress came back around and asked if everything was okay, I told her nope it wasn’t, you need to tell the owners of this place paper straws are useless and make your drink taste like crap.

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  7. Deplorable 2nd Class, same. Paper bags were Satan’s work. I remember the sour looks from the baggers and old ladies. “That’s made from a tree!”

    “So is your fucking face!”

    And then the plastic bags… “Oh, the turtles, and ducks, and BABIES!”

    So I got a leather bag. Whew! “That is made of a cow!”

    So I got a cotton bag… OH NOES! “NEGROES HAD TO PICK COTTON!”

    Eventually you say, as Scott used to do, “Have a nice day! Burn in Hell!”

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  8. JB_Honeydew AT 8:54 PM
    “True dat Willy, but after purchase, there weren’t any 100s left in the wallet 🤣”

    …this is Hunter we’re talking about. The Big Guy gets him an endless supply of Ben Franklin straws just from “Ukranian Aid” ALONE, so you need not worry that HE will ever run out of “straws” as long as the devil finds his dad useful…

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  9. Paper straws that can’t withstand the combination of suction & liquid going through them, encased in a plastic wrapper that could.
    And I thought the whole “paper or plastic” thing was patently insane.

  10. No one needs straws. Really.

    For the marathoner who must drink while in motion, there are bottles. (No one else needs to.)

    And ladies: recently I heard two women complaining about the deepening wrinkles in their upper lips. In between sucking their iced lattes through a straw.

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