A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.
One of the bags was ripped and every once in awhile a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.”
“Oh, really? Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, Officer.”
“Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop. “Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?”
“Oh, no, no”, said the old lady. “You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know.
Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it?’ So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K., buddy! Give me $20 or off it comes!’
“Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?
“Not everybody pays!”
*
h/t Doc.
Pay to See
Little Annie always wore skirts to school.
One day a boy offered her a dollar to climb the flagpole.
This started a trend, where day after day Annie was earning dollars.
Large crowds of boys were all gathering to watch.
One day Annie’s mom asked her where she was getting the dollar bills.
“Those dumb boys pay me to climb the flagpole Mom.”
Annie’s mom explained the boys just wanted to see her panties and she shouldn’t do that anymore.
About a week later Annie’s mom finds a big pile of dollar bills in Annie’s room.
“I told you not to do that. The dirty boys just want to see your panties.”
“Ah. But I fooled them Mommy. This week I wasn’t wearing any panties when I climbed the flagpole.”
There’s a trend developing……
Clever little old lady… at least she doesn’t need gov’t money.
As for little Annie, was her last name Cyrus or Kardashian?
And the politicians would tax the old lady and Annie if they could
Thanks for the classic memories – I have heard “mammary” versions of these as well.
Thanks for the humour.
Now, when I tell Hillary to eat a bag of dicks, I know where they came from.
Ah! That spirit of Enterprise!
All the fukkin rat-people can do is sit on their asses with their hands out.
izlamo delenda est …
That’s what you call a real penalty stroke.
As a 10-year old at the neighborhood park I paid a nickle to my schoolmate, Karen, for a peak down her blouse. (True story.) Thus began my life of debauchery.
I always wondered what happened to Lorena Bobbitt after she fell off the radar.