The worst gift I’ve ever gotten was from Nancy Pelosi. ObamaCare.
Thanks a lot, you Botoxed shrew!
Momzette– Someone I know said he was thinking of buying me a vacuum for Christmas.
I thought about using the evil eye on this person, but given the holiday season and all, I tried a more adult response: “Oh, you shouldn’t.”
(What I didn’t say was: “Oh, you wouldn’t!”)
“But we need a new one for the house,” he said. “Right?”
OK. It is time to clear the air.
***
SNIP: The older I get, the more I understand why people just give cash as gifts. I’ve done it myself, with gift cards, but I put them in boxes decorated like these to make the gifts seem like a BFD.
Nothing says, you like to sleep on the couch all by your lonesome self than giving the old lady a vacuum cleaner for Christmas.
Consider the power source. A couple generations beforehand wood/coal irons were given to the women as a spectacular gift, and the girls would receive working miniature versions to help their mother as early as possible. A fancy gift may have been a goffering iron or a fluter for the man’s collar. Electricity wasn’t available during the day until Tuesdays of the 1880s known as ironing day when the first electric irons were available in Canada. Give a few more decades and replace the Hoover with a computer. 🙂
I can’t say what my gal is going to get because she reads these comments!
But it sure as hell ain’t a vacuum!
I always imagined you more of a MEILE girl, MJA.
😮
I don’t think my father would have even considered buying my mother a vacuum cleaner. I can only recall him giving her clothing, shoes, jewelry, and perfume. He traveled for his business and always set aside an afternoon to shop for Mom. He knew all her sizes and was a shrewd judge of style and garment construction. I find shopping stressful and wish my dad were here to deck me out LOL.
“If the best you can do is these cheap earrings from K-mart..” Merry Christmas (bitch)
This is a fabulous video about a Christmas gift for the lady of the house.
https://youtu.be/-Nfup3_3nos
.
If you want to buy her some hot stillettos, my dad, from beyond the grave, recommends Murray Bender in Cleveland or O’Connor and Goldberg in Chicago.
One of the saddest days in my life was realizing my feet had grown too big to I her it Mom’s Spring – o- Later collection.
I got my wife a new toilet for Xmas. One that would fit her fat ass.
No, I see her waltzing around the living room carpet with an Electrolux. Miehles are for yuppie dickheads who name a girl baby Max and a boy baby Jaxon.
I her it = wear.
Thank you Nazis spell checker.
That would suck.
That’s funny MaryJane. Mrs Galt actually asked for a vacuum cleaner one year, had to be a Dyson though, lots of pets and lots of hair and then there’s me.
At this point in my life I tell my five daughters that I have a dumpster for each one of them so I don’t need nothin!
Well, maybe socks and underwear or gift cards to Chili’s or ammo.
I hope it came with a Church toilet seat: “Best Seat in the House.”
This one’s a bit longer, but still great:
https://www.youtube.com/embed/Twivg7GkYts
😛
I assume you are dictating this comment to someone to enter for you while you recover the use of your extremities?
😉
Lady Struan gets Agent Provocateur & Louboutins.
She gets to unwrap them & then I get to unwrap her – win-win.
She’s my Eve of Christmas.
I’ll wait till late Christmas afternoon to give her her new ironing board.
One of the greatest! LOL
I’d love a vacuum cleaner, it’s called a maid.
Hey…at least it’s not a bathroom scale.
I once asked a girlfriend if she liked fur coats or if she was one of those women who think they’re “mean”.
She got very excited and said she’d LOVE to have a fur coat.
I got her a leg-hold trap for Christmas.
True story.
Some women just have no sense of humor!
Buy a Dyson. Low maintenance, highly reliable, no headaches, and they work before 8″00 am without complaining.
I’ve never known a woman who didn’t get starry-eyed & gushy at the possibility of a fur coat. Something about sable produces an observable, alchemical/magical reaction in even the most reserved of women.
Fur = Security?
(Got that, Big Hat?)
I’d like a Dyson vacuum with 2 hands to use it. Those would not be my 2 hands.
I wanted a new pair of shoes to wear with my new outfit, but could not afford them. Was walking downtown and a blind man was sitting on the curb asking for money. I noticed his shoes were new, so I took them. I left him 50 cents.
I am getting a new (used) Vacuum for Christmas.
After many years of dedicated service my old Hoover upright finally gave up and died.
Mom is giving me her spare Oreck.
Coincidence?
My late husband once told my in-laws I would like a new coffee maker. So at the next gift giving opportunity he got a lovely hat.
I detest gift shopping and would rather make all the gifts. Seculsrists have ruined Christmas. I still cry at the end of A Charlie Brown Christmas.
What do you get the little woman that vacuums up every spare morsel in sight?
And for the rest of the time you were with her, I bet you didn’t get out of bed without checking first.
🙂
A larger house?
(I’m assuming that “little” is just a figure of speech here…)
😛
I would have guessed it was supposed to be “inherit”.
http://instantrimshot.com/
A shrink?
He’ll be pretty happy Christmas morning with a hoover. Or any morning for that matter.
I was going to get my wife a new wedding ring, the one she has was supposed to be: “When I can afford a better one.”
The last kid is out of college and married, she wants a new washer instead, it arrives next Monday.
She says the old ring is “special”.
I am truly blessed.
I have a Sebo, which is just about as bad and I ain’t no yuppy!
I certainly appreciate her feelings.
……or as a team of surgeons frantically sews his member back on.