Is She Wrong?
Twisted Sifter:
Well, that’s a new one…
An application essay to attend your own sister’s wedding? What is this world coming to?!?!
Sounds pretty insane if you ask me… But let’s get all the details before we make up our minds, shall we?Read on and see what you think!
I’m sorry I can’t make it. I’m already booked, I need to rotate the tires on my lawn mower.
Sis can fuck off.
The money I might have spent attending I’d shift into some gold coins – or whiskey.
And the relatives can fuck off, too.
mortem tyrannis
izlamo delenda est …
Easy-peasy. Here’s your 500 word “essay.”
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My essay would be a warning to the groom.
Yep, if she’s paying attention, she’ll notice that I DID NOT fill out the stupid ‘essay’.
My wedding (1972) was pretty bare bones because we were just struggling young people. I can’t believe how expensive weddings are and how people are guilted into spending so much. I am ashamed that I only gave the pastor $20 because he said give what you can.
In order to help out with the extremely difficult task of winnowing the guest list down and also save time reading a longer vignette than appears here, please remove me from the Honored List of those chosen and granted permission to attend.
Also, to assist with eliminating the difficult and time consuming efforts to unwrap presents or make bank deposits there will be nothing adding to that category from us either.
If you need any further clarification please submit a five hundred (500) word essay on why we should waste each other’s time in the difficult task of further communications.
Dear sister,
Go fuck yourself asshole bitch.
*repeated 100 times*
Do you read American Sign Language. Read this
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Over fifty-four (54) years ago I borrowed twenty bucks from my MIL to be, to pay ten each for the license and the judge. Came back from the city and went to one of the cousin’s weddings that afternoon/evening. No one knew we were married for about six months.
The cousins got divorced, we’re still together.
Seriously, we are beyond hope as anything close to “unified.” Time for a national divorce. The SOONER the better.
Father in Law gave my wife what I considered a generous budget. Any extra cost was ours, and whatever she didn’t spend was hers.
She actually got what she wanted and came in under budget. Reception was beer and wine with a buffet and music, and if you didn’t have a good time that was on you. She felt a little guilty nixing the open bar, but I didn’t see the point in paying for exotic drinks when my crowd was beer and wine anyway and a cash bar was available.
Weddings today cost about the equivalent of a down payment on a house or more. Women: my advice is don’t mortgage your foreseeable future on a wedding no one will remember. Guys: we don’t really care.
Stupid
Dear sister,
I would really like to attend your wedding.
As a result, please accept this letter as an apology or the time I “Cleaned Behind The Head of my Meat Missile” with your tooth Brush.
Uncle Al,
where did you get the time for that?
Cheers, Ice & rest your fingers.
These bridezillas lose their ever-loving minds when it comes to “their day.”
A wedding planner once told me that once the prospective bride receives that 2-inch-thick “Bride and Wedding Manual,” their eyes glaze over and they’re gone. The first page begins with the sentence, “Your wedding day will be the most important day of your life…”
They freak out and start to view it as their once-in-a-lifetime “performance,” where all friendships are on the block for fear that “their day” could be compromised, bridesmaids are cut out, maid of honor is fought over, everything must have 2 backups, flowers may not be less than perfect, seating chart is studied and agonized over, catering and cake bakers have been screamed at numerous times before the event. The wedding planner herself, who by then has become the only trusted confidante to the shrieking bride, has been screamed at the most by the big day.
These wedding assistants are no strangers to a healthy dose of Valium when that day arrives. It’s not a job for the faint hearted.
Statistics show that the most freaked out brides end up divorced. They’re too damned narcissistic and spoiled. It’s in their DNA.
Spare me. My wife and I snuck down to Captiva and got married on the ocean -the 2 of us and a minister- then came back and announced. No muss, no fuss.
She wanted it that way and that’s why she’s the one for me. 👍
my essay:
F U; and, oh, by the way, because of mom I will be there regardless. But not even mom can guarantee I’ll be sober the morning of the big day but FU for the headace.
We have to tolerate a far-left liberal who knows how to get around every measure he voted for. His income is cash under the table. No building permits. Structure in the middle of his field looks like a worn-out barn. Inside is beautiful. Truck registered out of state to avoid taxes and inspections. Brags about using farm diesel to avoid road taxes. Made his own incinerator. Burns his used oil, chemicals, and garbage. Made his own wood stove. Militantly opposed to 2nd amendment but has an arsenal. Threatened to shoot tax assessor if he ever caught TA on his property again. He raised his kids to think everyone else should pay, well, except him. Daughter got married, told parents they were responsible for out-of-town guest reservations and lodging expense. Dad wondered “What makes them think we should have to pay?”
My wife and I had our wedding ceremony in the outdoor courtyard of our employer. It was free and they threw in the cake and eats for guests and curious coworkers. It was a “venue” before there were venues.
Hubby and I paid for plane tickets for immediate family to join us and invited a few friends and had a very relaxed wedding and party in our apartment buildings community room.
We didn’t have much starting out, but it’s been the best 35 years of my life.
I’ve been in 14 weddings.
I finally began saying no thank you which offended some. It was very expensive.
A horrible experience more than once. (Many more) And I hate dancing.
I don’t even go to weddings unless it’s an immediate relative.
That’s ridiculous, very selfish and thoughtless.
I think often there’s way too much focus on the wedding and not nearly enough on the marriage that comes after it.
I had a small wedding, although not as small as I wanted thanks to my mother-in-law and her insistence that “immediate family only” should include her 12 (yes, 12) siblings that lived in the area, but if I had it to do over again, I’d get married at the courthouse and be done with it. I was 20. Live and learn. LOL Still married after 44 years, though. 😊
My wife and I were married Sunday Sept. 11, 1977, at our church in front of family and friends. I don’t think we spent more than $100 to $200 on our wedding. My wife’s folks threw a very nice wedding reception for us at their house. We drove our 75 Honda Civic to Cannon Beach, Oregon for our honeymoon and up the Wash. coast and to Seattle to visit her older sister and see some friends. We also went to a Seattle Seahawks game at the last minute to see them play the Baltimore Colts for $11 each with seats way up high in the nosebleed section at the King Dome. It was the only Seahawks game that we went to, I can’t even remember who won but it was fun.
My wife and I were happy to have two friends to witness our marriage with an unknown Pastor officiating. No relatives, no pictures, no reception, no gifts, no honeymoon. 51 years of marriage later, it really didn’t make a difference.
Some of the best weddings I’ve attended took place in the couples backyard, and after the ceremony was over the keg was tapped and the grill fired up.
With 50% of all marriages ending in divorce, it’s better to invest in the marriage than in the wedding.
ChatGPT write 2 essays on why I should attend my self absorbed and self centered sister’s wedding and make them purposefully sarcastic and snarky.
I feel sorry for the poor sonavBitch marrying that self-absorbed bitch! That shit ain’t gonna change.
My wife and I decided to get married in Las Vegas. We lived in Alaska at the time and neither one of us had met each others family, we were totally winging it. We invited anyone that want to come, we had a surprisingly tasteful ceremony, everyone had a great time. There were no applications required, all you had to do is have a good time. Our next anniversary is #40.
sorry sis, the dog ate my application…
tell them that you charge for attending, 10K should cover expenses
bride & wedding manual – blow me
Virtue signaling tw8 sis, blood is thicker than water.
I would return the letter with the instructions on for the two essays marked “return to sender”.
Dear Sis,
Please submit a 500-word essay on why I should attend your wedding, at my expense, using my valuable time and suffering your arrogant ass. Please be sure and stress specifically why it is important to you that I attend and share in your “happiness” if you are at all able to experience that particular emotion. By the way, please explain your sudden feelings of celebrity and fame that make you think anyone would feel so compelled to attend your wedding to begin with. Although you most likely do not understand this but, you’re simply a very small fish in a very large pond. Also, enjoy this Hallmark card of “best wishes” and consider it the only wedding gift you’ll be receiving from me.
Regards,
An Apparently Unimportant Family Member
Is she marrying a man? No real man would let this happen.
must be a democrat.
Sounds like total BS clickbait to me. Who the hell is still using the “pandemic” as an excuse for anything?
Hubby and I paid for our own wedding, 75 guests. My parents have been divorced since I was 10 years old. We decided to pay ourselves because I didn’t want my Mom or Dad trying to tell us what to do because they were paying.
$5000 later and we found out it didn’t matter. My parents still tried to dictate. My grandparents disowned me over it.
It will be 29 years in a month.