She’s single… She’s shapely… She’s beautiful and she lives right across the street.
I can see her place from my kitchen window. I watched as she got home from work this evening.
I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on the door.
I opened the door, she looked at me and said, “I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, dance, get drunk, and have sex tonight. Are you doing anything?”
I quickly replied, “Nope, I’m free!”
“Great,” she said. “Can you watch my dog?”
___
h/t Doc.
“What, only watch your pooch? No pussy?”
(Irresistable! I have a one-track gutter tonight)
Shot Down In Flames
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbqhGpR40rQ
.
Doc I warned you about snorting viagra.
I had girls knocking at my door all the time. It gets annoying believe it or not.
I remember asking an older artist what he liked about maturity, being older, and he said, “I like not walking around with a hard-on all the time.”
an oldie but still funny
A guy walks into a crowded bar waving his unholstered gun wildly and yells
“I got a .45 Colt automatic with 8 rounds in the magazine and one in the chamber, and all I want to know is who’s been sleeping with my wife?”
A voice from the back of the room calls out “you don’t have enough ammo”.
Well,, I’m certainly glad I don’t have THAT problem!
What? Trying to get out?
Yea but you’re talking Chico. Come on man. LOL
She said “pooch” but I heard “cooch”. That’s when the fight started.
A magician is at the local Ramada in Florida. He has the crocodile on the stage and tells the crowd he is about to perform the greatest trick ever. He hits the croc on the head and the croc opens its mouth. The magician takes his junk out and puts it in the crocs mouth and hits it on the head again. The crock closes its mouth within a millimeter of his junk. He hits the croc on the head again and the croc opens its mouth and he takes his junk out of its mouth. The crowd widly claps and yells its approval. After the applause dies down the magician asks if anyone else would like to try the trick? A homo in the back say “I will if you don’t hit me on the head so hard.”
Rimshot!!
Were they selling cookies?
Yeah, the story of my life..
still have a little blue around your nose…..
yes, it does. And I have no idea what to do with all these cookies….
I remember the first time she came over after she moved in. She saw me break dancing in my driveway…then she found out that I just fell over while checking the air in my tires and couldn’t get up!
I’ll bet the Bolshoi Ballet isn’t returning YOUR calls either.
Bastards…