So You’re Gonna Tell Me… – IOTW Report

So You’re Gonna Tell Me…

23 Comments on So You’re Gonna Tell Me…

  1. Snakes and sparklers… wow… Maryland shit. We like shit that blows up. If the State Troopers didn’t show up in MD you weren’t doing a good enough job.

    State Trooper: You doing fireworks!

    Me: Nah, that’s illegal. I saw some over there!

    State Trooper: Over THERE! Your floor jack handle has smoke coming out of it!

    Me: It does that from time to time.

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  2. Dr. Hambone I saw one of those at a fireworks warehouse, it is now called “Chigger Chaser,” it made me laugh and brought back memories.

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  3. How many remember RedRats? A pop bottle rocket with no stick, WCGW. My brother launched one right into his paper sack full of fireworks.
    No one died, it was a good day.

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  4. Hellfire. Scared muh fambly back indoors and I still have half a footlocker of SUPER GIANT fireworks.

    Sorry Nevada, you just can’t compete with Mesikin fireworks.

    I like when they only go up a hundred feet or so and then explode in a Disneyland sized shell.

    10
  5. O.K.

    Here’s the deal. Boom bam kapow, regular fireworks. And then I found this….this lil’ cardboard silhouette of a ‘Dumpy Dog’. I figured it would shoot some colored fireballs out the back end…what with it supposedly being a dog taking a dump.

    I stand it up…just a small lil deal…I light it…it starts to smoke…not much else…then we notice it. Out the back end of the dumpy dog is one of those long back snakes. Just….wrong on so many levels. Anyway, this dumpy dog pushes out a 6 inch ash turd and THEN it starts shootin’ out red fire balls from its balloon knot and then the whole offence against nature exploded.

    Wish I had 4 or 5 more.

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  6. They sell vaguely combustible crap in Connecticut that they have tried to pass off as fireworks. In CT if it moves or makes noise it’s not legal to sell so technically an old girlfriend of mine would be illegal.

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  7. Te real stuff is illegal in Florida, but don’t stop the people in our area from getting supplied in Alabama around 80 miles away.
    Our poor little Maltese is in full PTSD mode.

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  8. Why would they be illegal in Florida? I understand Arizona….makes sense. Doesn’t stop me but whatever.

    Florida is all hot and muggy and has water laying around everywhere. Everywhere else in de Souf’ has legal GOOD fireworks. Mine are always a little sketchy. And my Nevada fireworks proved me right. Expensive, heavily regulated…and not as much fun as they should be. Viva Mesikin fireworks. KABOOM!!!

    Maybe because they’re not made in China. I dunno’.

    Just curious as to why Florida…home of DeSantis and sanity, is anti fireworks.

    3
  9. SC banned bottle rockets. Seriously SC, bottle rockets? They were my “go to” for quick, easy control of illegal canadian geese that showed up on the property and sh*t everywhere.

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  10. Buh?

    People…people…. we can’t have gun rights without fireworks rights. The whole…gunpowder and gunpowder related accessories. All of that stuff. Keep it legal. No idea who’s passing all these anti flying and exploding gunpowder toys but it needs to stop.

    Kidz who’ve never grown up around exploding things will be scared of guns and other loud noises when they get older. Thus more willing to give up those rights.

    Also, I need to flip a coin between Port Angels and Mesiko for next year. Mesiko has great fireworks…but dang. Those northwest pacific Indians do not play around. No IDEA how they get what they do but it’s enough to envelope the entire town in smoke and cordite fumes until well into the next day….when it rains.

    4
  11. They got nothing on the old man (teenage Ralphie’s dad) and Mr. Kissell in Jean Shepherd’s The Great American 4th of July. Man, did they ever love their fireworks especially Mr. Kissell setting off the MOAB of all fireworks that caused the whole town to run away and hide in a full panic.

    4
  12. Dang. I thought you were gonna mention someplace real.

    I was haulin’ ass across Kansas one 4th and got to watch I don’t know how many displays from the freeway all across the horizon waaaaay far away or up close. That was neat.

    Was hoping someone would say.”Hey, this place has neat fireworks. check them out”

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  13. In June of 1992, all of my siblings and I went back East to visit family. These California kids stopped at a fireworks trailer in West Virginia and bought all kinds of goodies from a young man missing some fingertips (this is how we knew he was legit). We continued on our merry way until it was time to get on the plane and come home.
    Not wanting to leave our stash in the trash, we bought a cardboard box, which was apparently meant to ship baked goods through the mail, for it had an image of a plate of cookies and the words “A Treat for You” printed on it. We put our fireworks inside and every stamp we had in our possession on the outside and shoved the treat for us into a mailbox at the airport.
    The USPS came through and our treat was delivered in time for an illegal July 4 firework display at home in CA.

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