“Talking Dog for Sale “ – IOTW Report

“Talking Dog for Sale “

Sunday, 17 February 2019, 16:30 MJA Uncategorized 23

 

A guy was driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he saw a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house:
“Talking Dog for Sale ”

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice-looking Beagle sitting there.  “You talk?” he asks.

“Yep,” the Beagle replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says “So, what’s your story?”

The Beagle looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.  I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services…the United States Marines.  You know one of their nicknames is “The Devil Dogs.”

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.  I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so, I decided to settle down.

I retired from the Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.  I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.  I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”

The guy is amazed.  He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

“Ten dollars,” the guy says.

“Ten dollars?  This dog is amazing!  Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”

“Because he’s such a bullshitter … He never did any of that stuff.  He was in the Navy!”

 

 

h/t Doc.

23 Comments on “Talking Dog for Sale “

  8. @Moe Tom – No kidding. The lazy sucker won’t look for a job. Expects me to supply his food, toiletries and medical care and then just lays around all day doing nothing!

    11

  10. Different Tim February 17, 2019 at 5:16 pm

    I read this to my cat. He said it was a stupid joke!
    ————————-

    I read it to DH, he was a Navy man, he too said it was a stupid joke. But I laughed…

    9

  15. Guy has a bad accident and suffers serious head trauma. Doctors pronounce him brain dead. They tell his wife that their only hope is a brain transplant. When the wife asks how much will it cost, the doctors tell her that it depends. They explain that they can give her a republican brain for five hundred dollars or a democrat brain for ten thousand dollars. When she asks why there is such a price difference they tell her that its a matter of fairness. The republicans brain has been used!😀

    9

  17. I’ll do the punch line. MoeTom can tell the joke.

    “You damn fool, that dogs tying to tell you there’s more birds in that field than you can shake a fucking stick at.”

    LOL

    6

  18. Old guy sitting in front of his general store is playing checkers with his dog.

    A visitor walks up and says, “That’s an amazingly smart dog!”

    The old coot responds, “Not really. I beat him three out of four.”

    ….Lady in Red

    7

  19. A man and his wife were lying in bed and she asked, “If you could know when you were going to die, would you want to know.” He replied, “No.” She said, OK, Never mind.”

    2

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