The ‘Green Physician Toolkit’ Reads Like a Parody – IOTW Report

The ‘Green Physician Toolkit’ Reads Like a Parody

Daily Sceptic:

Most readers will be aware of the massive treatment backlog in the NHS. It is a matter of grave concern to all doctors, even recently retired ones like myself. So, imagine my excitement to discover that the Royal College of Physicians has found the time to produce a ‘Green Physician Toolkit’. I’m sure this important initiative will go a long way to solving the many problems in our beloved NHS. Interested readers can download the advice here.

Sadly, I must report that this brochure has not been uniformly well received by my colleagues. One contributor to a GP website went so far as to ask whether the document was a parody. On the upside it does indeed contain many amusing sections.

Knowing how popular remote consultations are with the general public, readers will be delighted to hear that the Royal College advises doctors to conduct as much interaction with patients as possible by virtual means, and goes on to advocate that doctors work from home whenever feasible to reduce carbon emissions from travelling. How very convenient – for the profession, if not for patients. more

14 Comments on The ‘Green Physician Toolkit’ Reads Like a Parody

  1. Better yet, why doesn’t the NHS buy a supply of Quija Boards so that the doctors don’t even have to waste their time talking to those scummy patients in the first place.

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  2. Ouija boards are for communicating with the dead (supposedly).
    By the time the Dr would need it, his job is successfully done.
    Move on to the next victim…err.. patient.

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  3. I would stress the value and environmental benefit of composting to patients. IF a patient objects or seems squeamish, just remind him or her that “this is the NHS – you’ll need it sooner than later.”

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  4. “the Royal College advises doctors to conduct as much interaction with patients as possible by virtual means, and goes on to advocate that doctors work from home whenever feasible to reduce carbon emissions from travelling.”

    OBSERVE.
    PALPATE.
    AUSCULATE.
    PERCUSS.

    …these are the actions of a doctor going back to Asclepiades, and have served the practice of medicine well for THOUSANDS of years.

    Only ONE of those is even vaugely possible virtually, and even THEN you cant asses things like pallor, jaundice, cyanosis, rash, or slighly blushed to hectic over a possibly not very well color balanced commercial video feed.

    Im out right there.

    Anyone doing this is less of a doctor than I am, and unlike Jill Biden Im no sort of a doctor at ALL.

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  5. …during the early days of Coof, American physicians tried to pull this crap. I joked around what would happen if a wife walked in on her husband squatted over a tablet with his finger jammmed up his butt, only to be told by the guy on the screen hes a doctor talking her husband through a prostate exam.

    It was only kinda funny then.

    I actually think its too LIKEY to be funny NOW…

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  6. Wild Bill
    THURSDAY, 18 JULY 2024, 17:13 AT 5:13 PM
    “The NHS is still dealing with a contaminated blood scandal.”

    My MIL had a masectomy Tuesday, and we asked about the Coof Goof because of the possibilty she’d need some blood. The reply was that NO ONE tracks that or even asks the question, so you get what you get or nothing at all.

    …In other words, the WORLD WIDE blood supply is irrevocably tainted.

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  7. “Most readers will be aware of the massive treatment backlog in the NHS.”

    And people still want Gov run healthcare when every bit of historical evidence says private/charity run healthcare offers the best at the lowest costs and lowest fraud.

    The average voter is very stupid. The more left – the more stupid.

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