“YOU GUYS ARE RUINING MY BEARD FETISH. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve loved a man with a beard. To me, they meant strength, power, MANLINESS. Someone who could protect me. Unfortunately, you guys have turned it into a fashion statement. The beard has turned into the padded bra of masculinity. Sure it looks sexy, but whatcha got under there? There’s a whole generation running around looking like lumberjacks, and most of you can’t change a f**king tire.
Look, I get it. I really do. I understand the motivation behind your beardedness. In fact, I even pity you. Thousands of years of evolution priming you guys to kill stuff, and chase stuff, and f**k stuff….and now what? You’re stuck at a desk all day. No battles to fight. No wars to wage. So you assert your masculinity the only way you know how. You brew beer. You grow some hair on your face. I’ve seen you, hipsters, sitting in downtown eateries, with your rock chick girlfriends, dipping your truffle fries, trying not to get the aioli in your mustache.
I tried a beard for a few days in the 70s…didn’t like it.
But is that the reason so many males are sprouting? cause it LOOKS manly?
Pussys
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BmfvNL1IgAANXt2.jpg
Like this guy?
When Kenny Rogers got rid of his beard, he went from looking like Grizzly Adams to Harry Reid’s pudgy-faced twin brother.
I’ve never favored facial hair on men, but I have to admit these faggy little goatees really stick in my craw.
Peach fuzz makes you look like a teenager, not a man.
I’m 49, was never into beards, a little stubble but that is far as I will go. But if getting a beard even remotely means I can be associated with that regressive trash in the picture above? No thank you.
http://nypost.com/2014/02/25/hipster-wannabes-forking-over-thousands-for-facial-hair-transplants/
I’ve had a beard for the most part since the mid 70’s. Shaved it a few times, my kids thought I looked funny without a beard. And I haven’t shaved my mustache since the Spring of 1976. My late wife never saw me without my mustache, thought about shaving it for my son’s wedding 4 years ago but didn’t. I keep it neat and trimmed, don’t need it long and scraggly so that I look like a hillbilly or a Muslim. And besides it offsets being bald on top of my head.
Barry’s husband grows his out to hide his double chin
Have to agree the author is ~ confused in that they’re not seeming to get yet that the beard thing and the incredible pussification in general is part of a far more sinister agenda.
For example, turn on many modern movies lately and watch the woman take the physical and mental lead in danger. Watch the little 130 lb model knock 220 lb men across the room with a right cross. Ummm, sure..
None of this is because of men having an 8-5 desk job.
I have a beard. I also have a hammer and know how to use it. Actually, I have at least a dozen hammers that are used for different things. Strait claw, finish, brick, sledge, ball and peen and more. My beard keeps me warm in the winter and cool in the summer, and I have no freaking clue what “macchiato and an Americano” are much less know the difference between the two.
Those stupid looking hipsters are ruining it for us real men. I didn’t even know they made “beard oils” and such. Liberals ruin everything that’s good.
and it is funny how cookies work. The current sidebar ad for me is for Bald Head Island real estate.
LOL!
I love winter because that means Mr Illustr8r will grow a beard. I love him with stubble on his face though it drives him crazy after awhile-and-he’s not happy it’s mostly gray now when it comes in.
Hipster facial hair doofuses don’t want to get aioli in their mustaches? Stupid. It’s a nice light snack for later in the evening.
I think I am repelled by the current very short beard fashion because that fat, ugly, murderous slob Arafat was an early adopter. Golly, I’m glad he’s dead.
To me, there is nothing more enticing than being kissed by a man with razor stubble and a slight taste of beer on his breath. That’s my idea of a man.
Giddy up !!!
From the Z Blog:
EXCERPT: “I had to drop off something at the UPS store. The clerk had a hipster beard. He was also wearing a crocheted kufi. He was obviously not an African so being a dick I greeted him in Arabic. I figured he was a dimwit and would have no idea what I was saying.
Me: “kayf Haalak?”
Hipster: What?
Me: I saw the kufi so I just assumed you were an Arab.
Hipster: Kufi?
I explained to him that his head gear was a traditional way for Arab homosexuals to identify themselves. That’s not true, but what the hell. I’m guessing the kufi went in the trash soon after.”
http://thezman.com/wordpress/
Oops. Anonymous no more.
Glad my first visit of the day was while that was at the top!! I got laughin’ tears throughout the rant, then I read the comments! I have not laughed as much in a long time. The author accomplished her mission for sure, as she drew fire and brimstone from her target group. People don’t seem to be able to take a humorous little jab anymore!
Manly men, bearded or not, ARE appealing, as long as they are of good character. I am blessed to have a bearded, handsome, manly man of good character. Thank you, Lord!
I wore a trimmed beard for 20 years.
As the various shades of gray whiskers started appearing I started to look like Boxcar Willy.
I went back to the clean shaven look rather than the hobo motif.
Me and my beard don’t look like that! And where’s the pipe/cigar/cigarette – or do these ‘guys’ only blow joints?
I grew a beard beginning a year ago from last Christmas. I botched root canal got infected, and one side of my face swelled up to about the size of a medium pumpkin. There was no way I was dragging a razor across that. After I had grown it for about a week and a half, ladies told me they liked it because it hid my face, so I decided to keep it.
A botched root canal…
Ah recently read in a cookbook, no less, that such and such recipe without booze was like kissing a man without a mustache!!! A awful thought indeed.
An awful thought…jeez. No edit function…
Most men look great in beards. Both my brothers wore beards. If a guy is a “hipster”, no amount of facial hair will hide that, so why bother?
You can bet the bizarre beard craze is due to marching orders from the leftist cabal at Harvard.
You GOTTA see all the OUTRAGEOUS OUTRAGE shown in the COMMENTS section at the link to the original site…
http://beardsy.com/archives/229
…the author seems to have really hit a nerve with both the she and he Hipster Hitlers.
I bet they all used the same Gay-O-Matic app
on their iPods to compose their rants.
Hence BLM pink nazis and their tactical beards.
Hmmm, My “Beard oil” is 10W30. IS that the same stuff?