The White House is in Need of a New Press Secretary – IOTW Report

The White House is in Need of a New Press Secretary

Friday, 14 June 2019, 12:00 MJA Uncategorized 50

Diogenes’ Choice is here.

My choice is No One. [Sarah Huckabee Sanders would be tough to replace, anyway]

And you? Who is your choice?

50 Comments on The White House is in Need of a New Press Secretary

  2. As a goof, I think Trump should appoint Jim Acosta to the task and then have no more press briefings for the rest of this term and his next…. but that’s just me.

    Since that will not happen, I’m gonna go with Candace Owens

    29

  4. Candace Owens or Steven Crowder.

    At this point, WH briefings should stomp all over the line to performance art.

    When WH correspondents are comparing the Presidents language to Stalinism as they support a Communist for President. Sheesh.

    Just put high chairs in the peanut gallery and provide free sippy cups.

    14

  5. I’ll do it if they let Me drink Beer the whole time….

    (After another stupid question)

    Me: Sighs, walks around Lectern, punches offender in the throat, goes

    back to Lectern…”Any other questions? ” (Silence)

    11

  15. Stephen Miller, Sheriff David Clarke, Alex Jones, Candace Owens or Steven Crowder.

    Or all of them on a rotating basis. Don’t tell the press who it will be until they step up to the podium. Give them all carte blanche to say exactly what they want.

    They will need to replace the chairs with plastic ones. Easier to wash off the results of the exploding heads.

    16

  21. My choice would be Gozer the Gozerian. When someone from the MSM asks a stupid question, Gozer could respond with “choose the form of the destructor,” which would likely be a 200 foot tall President Trump in most cases.

    Yes, I know this is unrealistic fantasy, but White House press conferences would be infinitely more entertaining and, after a few stupid questions, probably discontinued forever.

    7

  25. A rotation would be good, provided they add a gigantic bouncer to stand behind. the speaker; Any news maggot who disrupts the group will be escorted out, resistance will be met with force, and/or pain compliance..

    8

  26. Where is Sam Kinison when you really need him?

    Better yet, R. Lee ‘Gunny’ Ermey
    You may remember him as the Drill Sergeant from the movie, Full Metal Jacket.

    11

  28. Candace Owens does sound appropriate in so many ways.
    She stands tall on that short list.
    She would need to be prepared with foreknowledge.
    As in. . .
    Every single person she interacted with from that point forward, regardless of who (besides family and already built relationships), would require she understand that the other party is working an angle against her and the Trump Administration. Period and end of the story. Short term angles are usually easy to spot. It’s the long plays that can be stopped by remembering that.

    8

  29. Big Fur Hat? Time to step out of the shadows and use your experience from HERE to put those presstitutes in their place at the very shoulder of our greatest President yet.

    Step UP and put in for the job, my man. It’s what you’ve trained for all these years…

    11

  32. President Trump could save some personnel money by using an intern to shake a Magic 8-Ball for the answers to the press corpse’s questions.

    That gadget has 20 possible responses. We could have fun with writing those!

    8

  36. Love the James Woods suggestion!
    I also really like the idea of Candace joining the Trump administration. Trump mentoring her, for whatever her future holds, seems prudent.

    6

  40. The correct answer is already at the top: “No One”

    If the President has something to announce, put a “News Release” on the White House web site. Any (non- still any there?) fake news sites want to repeat it, go ahead. Any fake news sites want to mis-repeat it, go ahead.

    Any entertainment TV need video? Stand your spokes-model up, in your own studio, and have at it.

    Charge the tax payers for producing your (fictitious) content? Naw. But thanks for the offer.

    2

  45. Diamond and Silk friends should write a script of them holding a Press Conference as the D&S Tag Team Press Secretary. 5 to 8 minute range. Brodus Clay AKA Tyrus from The Greg Gutfeld Show could not only help write scenes but also play an active part in the performance. Heck, I bet IOTW could package a turnkey show product just from 10 or 20 threads here. Hello BFH. Toot Toot.

    2

  47. Stephen could do this in his sleep. And no one can match his knowledge and wit. I love it when he hears the first few words of a question and he does something with his eyes that shows he already has a sharpened skewer that is just waiting for the last word of the question. Then all heck breaks loose. Sarah slaps them down, for sure, but Stephen impales.

    2

  50. Pick me! Pick me!

    My standard response to every stupid, misleading, snarky question will be to STFU and sit down loser!

    I will back it up with either throat punches, groin kicks, or just shoot them in the face as traitors to the Republic.

    Seriously now, no need for the Q&A sessions. Just have a prepared statement read and posted on the WH website. Almost all of the reporter questions are idiotic.

    2

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