155 Comments on Things you should never do while naked
Comment.
Go to church.
Any type of welding!
He was obviously looking at Eleanor. 😯
Use a jigsaw.
Fry bacon on a skillet.
Run through a raspberry patch.
be sworn in as President, ESPECIALLY if your last name is Clinton!
Climb over a barbed-wire fence.
Tend bees
Run a chipper (if male)
Wrestle competitively (if male again)
Box
Bicycle
Snowboard
Water ski
Construction
Demolition
Demolition with explosives
Bull riding
snorkeling
Bend over to pick up a quarter
If you are Hillary Clinton, it would be don’t turn on the light.
Crowd Surf
Luge
Skateboard
Approach a group of baboons
Visit grandma in the nursing home.
Juggle bobcats.
Use a circular saw.
Walk through Harlem
Offer to make change for a dollar.
Run for president
Feed the chickens
Measure something…anything!
Ask a Moslem for directions.
Look at a Victoria’s Secrets catalog in front of your wife.
run through nettle patch.
Anything with pets or children
Go through a drive-through restaurant line…..even though it can be fun. 😉
Fall asleep under a sunlamp.
Pray to Allah (Risk of being mistaken for a bicycle rack)
March in the NYC Easter Parade down Fifth Avenue. 👿
Calculate in an eleven base numerical system
Do the YMCA song.
Watch an above-ground nuclear detonation.
Have tea with Richard O’Brien
Show up for jury duty.
Scratch your (…)
Running naked with the bulls at Pamplona. Go hiking naked on a very hot day in mid Summer due to risk of sun burning your entire body. Talk about burning your buns and the rest of your naked body, ouch. And the obvious don’t run naked with scissors.
Wear an “All Lives Matter” button to a Black Lives Matter riot.
Swim in Piranha infested waters.
Do yoga with Hillary
Turn your back on Richard Simmons.
Vietvet, that sounds like something the military would volunteer enlisted grunts to do back in the bad old days of A bomb testing.
Counting, base 10, base 11, now that’s a different story.
Drive an Ice Cream Truck.
Chaperone Grandma at Wal-Mart.
Oh. Wait…
That’d put the humor in Good Humor. Only in San Fran Freako.
Sing the old kid’s song while running around naked, Do your balls hang low, do they jostle to and fro, do your balls hang low… Third and thru 6th grade boys would love this. Or true story, run around the farmhouse naked like my brothers and my cousin did when they were kids and my Aunt yelled at them (she was blind as a bat) telling them to put some clothes on. The only white place on them was where their whitey tighties normally would be, everything else was tanned brown because of the summer Sun.
Show up at Griffith Observatory, repeat that it’s wash day nothing is clean beat up Bill Paxton and demand that his friend give you his clothes….unless you’re Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Go canoeing in Georgia. Wear a goats head in mid east. Go skiing.
@geoff the aardvark: Harold Agnew, Director of Los Alamos Nuclear Laboratory 1970-79, thought that all world leaders should be required to watch a nuclear detonation in their underwear. Once they experienced the heat from that explosion, he reasoned, they would never be tempted to start a nuclear war.
Packer home game in December, the aluminum benches get a little sticky.
Set a mouse trap
Slide into home base
Police dog training
Quality control
Ride the Tilt-a-Whirl
fry bacon
Put black olives on your finger tips for Thanksgiving….
Crow like a rooster at Home Depot…
Kick the siren lights off the top of a police car…
Go through the automatic car wash without a car…
Be a guest on Outnumbered
Climb office buildings
Volunteer to clean the fish tanks at Pets Mart…
Play baseball at the Catcher position
Jump off a train
Ask for a raise
Take drive thru orders at McDonalds with out either being employed there or inside the building…
Pick peaches. Do you know how itchy that peach fuzz is?
Wrestle Al Sharpton for a dollar
Gather honey from the bee hive.
Dont climb a shag bark hickory tree.
Work around a President who is too lazy to walk over to his cigar humidor.
Run through a cornfield :O
Play with sparklers
Run a weed eater over a yellow jacket’s nest.
Crazy glue the Main Spar on an RC plane.
Play wilt cats
Don’t try on the King’s new clothes you can’t see.
Ping pong
Sky dive
Vote
Spray for poison ivy
Feed your dog hot dogs.
Post an eBay ad for a mirror.
Swim in Snapping Turtle Pond.
Run through an acre of tits
Respond to IOTW commenters
Pester porcupines.
Meet Bill Clinton.
Don’t hang out with monkeys while naked. Don’t ask.
Meet your in-laws for the first time.
Ask for a personalized BFH portrait and e-mail picture.
Drive 30 MPH over limit by the Staties
Climb through a hedge
Don’t pretend you have a back pocket and pull something out from back there.
Try your hand at flint knapping
Build an igloo.
Ice sculpt with a chainsaw.
Meet your kid’s teachers.
Flop in the sand with fire ants.
Stroll to Yuma from Tucson
Prune rose bushes.
Catch those hairy Donald Trump lookalike caterpillars.
Use rejoinders on Lions rife with sarcasm and bitter irony
Have a picnic with fire ants
Peer in windows
Stand WAY too close to people in line at the Grocery store
Climb a black locust tree or hide behind a pyracanthus bush.
Comment.
Go to church.
Any type of welding!
He was obviously looking at Eleanor. 😯
Use a jigsaw.
Fry bacon on a skillet.
Run through a raspberry patch.
be sworn in as President, ESPECIALLY if your last name is Clinton!
Climb over a barbed-wire fence.
Tend bees
Run a chipper (if male)
Wrestle competitively (if male again)
Box
Bicycle
Snowboard
Water ski
Construction
Demolition
Demolition with explosives
Bull riding
snorkeling
Bend over to pick up a quarter
If you are Hillary Clinton, it would be don’t turn on the light.
Wear clothing…
Use a weed wacker.
Loiter in a playground.
Hitch Hike
Run a: Beltsander
Bodygrinder
Soldering torch
Chainsaw
Sewer Snake
Crowd Surf
Luge
Skateboard
Approach a group of baboons
Visit grandma in the nursing home.
Juggle bobcats.
Use a circular saw.
Walk through Harlem
Offer to make change for a dollar.
Run for president
Feed the chickens
Measure something…anything!
Ask a Moslem for directions.
Look at a Victoria’s Secrets catalog in front of your wife.
run through nettle patch.
Anything with pets or children
Go through a drive-through restaurant line…..even though it can be fun. 😉
Fall asleep under a sunlamp.
Pray to Allah (Risk of being mistaken for a bicycle rack)
March in the NYC Easter Parade down Fifth Avenue. 👿
Calculate in an eleven base numerical system
Do the YMCA song.
Watch an above-ground nuclear detonation.
Have tea with Richard O’Brien
Show up for jury duty.
Scratch your (…)
Running naked with the bulls at Pamplona. Go hiking naked on a very hot day in mid Summer due to risk of sun burning your entire body. Talk about burning your buns and the rest of your naked body, ouch. And the obvious don’t run naked with scissors.
Wear an “All Lives Matter” button to a Black Lives Matter riot.
Swim in Piranha infested waters.
Do yoga with Hillary
Turn your back on Richard Simmons.
Vietvet, that sounds like something the military would volunteer enlisted grunts to do back in the bad old days of A bomb testing.
Counting, base 10, base 11, now that’s a different story.
Drive an Ice Cream Truck.
Chaperone Grandma at Wal-Mart.
Oh. Wait…
That’d put the humor in Good Humor. Only in San Fran Freako.
Be a greeter at Walmart
lick lollipops.
http://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/3276/8279/original.jpg
Dont farm naked. Always plant a cover crop.
Shoot fireworks… ouch.
jog
Sing the old kid’s song while running around naked, Do your balls hang low, do they jostle to and fro, do your balls hang low… Third and thru 6th grade boys would love this. Or true story, run around the farmhouse naked like my brothers and my cousin did when they were kids and my Aunt yelled at them (she was blind as a bat) telling them to put some clothes on. The only white place on them was where their whitey tighties normally would be, everything else was tanned brown because of the summer Sun.
Show up at Griffith Observatory, repeat that it’s wash day nothing is clean beat up Bill Paxton and demand that his friend give you his clothes….unless you’re Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Go canoeing in Georgia. Wear a goats head in mid east. Go skiing.
@geoff the aardvark: Harold Agnew, Director of Los Alamos Nuclear Laboratory 1970-79, thought that all world leaders should be required to watch a nuclear detonation in their underwear. Once they experienced the heat from that explosion, he reasoned, they would never be tempted to start a nuclear war.
Packer home game in December, the aluminum benches get a little sticky.
Set a mouse trap
Slide into home base
Police dog training
Quality control
Ride the Tilt-a-Whirl
fry bacon
Put black olives on your finger tips for Thanksgiving….
Crow like a rooster at Home Depot…
Kick the siren lights off the top of a police car…
Go through the automatic car wash without a car…
Be a guest on Outnumbered
Climb office buildings
Volunteer to clean the fish tanks at Pets Mart…
Play baseball at the Catcher position
Jump off a train
Ask for a raise
Take drive thru orders at McDonalds with out either being employed there or inside the building…
Pick peaches. Do you know how itchy that peach fuzz is?
Wrestle Al Sharpton for a dollar
Gather honey from the bee hive.
Dont climb a shag bark hickory tree.
Work around a President who is too lazy to walk over to his cigar humidor.
Run through a cornfield :O
Play with sparklers
Run a weed eater over a yellow jacket’s nest.
Crazy glue the Main Spar on an RC plane.
Play wilt cats
Don’t try on the King’s new clothes you can’t see.
Ping pong
Sky dive
Vote
Spray for poison ivy
Feed your dog hot dogs.
Post an eBay ad for a mirror.
Swim in Snapping Turtle Pond.
Run through an acre of tits
Respond to IOTW commenters
Pester porcupines.
Meet Bill Clinton.
Don’t hang out with monkeys while naked. Don’t ask.
Meet your in-laws for the first time.
Ask for a personalized BFH portrait and e-mail picture.
Drive 30 MPH over limit by the Staties
Climb through a hedge
Don’t pretend you have a back pocket and pull something out from back there.
Try your hand at flint knapping
Build an igloo.
Ice sculpt with a chainsaw.
Meet your kid’s teachers.
Flop in the sand with fire ants.
Stroll to Yuma from Tucson
Prune rose bushes.
Catch those hairy Donald Trump lookalike caterpillars.
Use rejoinders on Lions rife with sarcasm and bitter irony
Have a picnic with fire ants
Peer in windows
Stand WAY too close to people in line at the Grocery store
Climb a black locust tree or hide behind a pyracanthus bush.
Get on public transport.
Visit the local Court House.
Apply for a day care center license.
Pick raspberries or blackberries
Visit Freedom Valley Gay Camp Grounds for the Bingo and Weenie Roast
https://www.freedomvalleycamping.com/fvc/
Ice fishing
Tie your shoes.
Hula Hoop
Eat pork and share a beer with an armed moslem.
Vote for a democrat.
Slide down a telephone pole.
Jumping jacks
Startle a porcupine
Take a selfie with your mom
Parachute into a Trump rally.
Perform the role of Odette in “Swan Lake”.
Pull up your loose belt really fast.
Pin your service ribbons to your chest.
Spill hot coffee in your lap.
Show up during a group therapy session in a women’s-only rape crises center.
Sit anywhere in my house but the tub and toilet.
Ride a bike with no seat.
Tell me:you’re ready to go now.
Show up at the Principal’s Office to talk about your kid’s lewd behavior.
Attend a Donald Trump rally andcall him a loser
Do push ups over a mouse trap.
Run down Martin Luther King BLVD screaming thee N word
Sell Girl Scout cookies.
Ask a policeman “wanna. Use my night stick?”
Space walk
Try to bathe a cat.
Defrost the freezer.
Interview for the Santa Claus job at the mall.
Ask to borrow a tape measure
Jai alai.
Go to the nearest Subway and ask to speak with Jared.
Go to nathen’s and ask if they have the new foot long.
wait for your neighbor to come home from work them run across his yard and scream “Why is he home so early?”
Bend over in front of Mooch 0bama.
Ride a porcupine
Meet Bill Clinton in a hotel room
Ask a girl out on a date.
Fry BACON!!!!!!!
Ask for a ride on my bike’s bitch seat.
Try to start up a game of leap frog.
Pretend you’re a wax figure at a museum on porn-stars-get-in-free day.
It could happen. ?
Play “Guess where I’m hiding my keys”.