The Federalist:
[…] Parents who have lost their babies either through stillbirth (when a baby dies after 20 weeks of pregnancy) or neonatal death (when a baby dies within 28 days of birth) are all too cognizant of the fragility and unpredictability of life. These tragic and untimely deaths happen more often than many people realize.
I met with several of these parents through a virtual Mother’s Day memorial walk for bereaved parents. One couple lost their baby boy at 38 weeks of pregnancy, one couple lost their baby girl at 39 weeks, and another couple lost their baby boy at 41 weeks. Their experiences were strikingly similar.
They all told me they had perfectly normal and healthy pregnancies. All the results from their prenatal checkups displayed zero abnormalities. One day, the baby was moving and kicking, and the next day, he or she suddenly stopped moving. When each couple rushed to the hospital, doctors couldn’t detect their baby’s heartbeat. read more
We lost our daughter (term) right after birth and we had no “heads up” even though my husband was a practicing Pediatrician and I was a practicing Pediatric Nurse Practitioner. This was 42 years ago and since we knew everyone who was there for the C/S, the staff freaked out and whisked Amy away. I was quickly sedated and never saw her–my husband got to hold her. I have nothing except a birth certificate. Later, when I was the Head Nurse of a medical center nursery I put in a policy that if a baby was stillborn or died after birth, a picture was taken, a footprint was made, a bed card, and lock of hair. We then stored these and told the parents that we had them if they wanted them and we would keep them for a year. 42 years later, this article stabs me in the heart but it is a great solution.
Corky, add my tears to yours for that story of yours. I’m so sorry.
Both my mother and grandmother lost babies in conjunction with the two great flu pandemics (Spanish Flu and Chinese Flu of ’57) There’s a possibility they both almost lost their lives as well. My mother also lost both parents and an older brother in the Late Fifties
I was deeply affected by all of this, apparently as I stopped talking for a period of almost a year. My parents were so concerned they asked a psychiatrist to observe me at home. And then one day, I was “better”, as in not appearing to be autistic. But this period definitely left scars
My grandmother may have lost other babies as well as there is a six year gap between her oldest and second oldest. Im sure this period turned her into the harsh and embittered woman we had to put up with when we were kids.
Of course, those generations didn’t talked about these things. Its only been in the past few months that I’ve been able to make these connections
My mother suffered 3 stillbirths and two early miscarriages before I was born.
She would have severe depression every year on my siblings birthdays.
For two of her babies, it was the same situation as Corky.
Nothing but the memory of being pregnant, and the pain of leaving the hospital with empty arms.
With my brother, one of the nurses was able to get a picture.
Mom said it was unbearable to be in the maternity ward with all the new moms and their babies, while her arms seemed to suffer phantom pain with the longing to hold her own child.
Absolutely breaks my heart. Corky, I understand. My aunt was stillborn. How would my life have been different if my father had grown up protecting his little sister? How would my grandmother have been? Not as cold or controlling?
We are who we are from birth. Environment impacts that but our nature is what it is.
I look at family albums and the pictures of a 7 year old reflects the nature of the 50 year old. All we have is our time.
so sorry for your loss Corky. healing prayers to you … & all others that have to experience this wretched heartache
My great-grandmother lost a daughter, my grandmother lost my Uncle, both were stillborn. She Who Must Be Obeyed lost her older sister to a botched birth.
if these CuddleCots help (& I can’t see why not) then I’m all for them. if NY can spend $8 mill on every WuHu Flu victim, then a $3k bed is chump change … let’s do a gofundme page
All dusty up in here. Corky…… I am sorry.
I used to bury them. And everybody else. Sit on a stone and weep for the dearly departed whom I never knew.
It was a hard job. My Uncle Paul told me recently that I was probably not the guy to do that job. I agree.
I could delve easily enough, and cover easily enough.
I was a sexton, even to the IRS.
In any case, “Pax vobis”.
My dad’s mother had 11 pregnancies. Six lived and six (one set of twins) did not. Near where my grandparents are buried is a tombstone. It has a name, date and “born and died on the same day”.
I cannot imagine losing that many children. I have been and still am so blessed.