What would be in your dog’s search history? – IOTW Report

What would be in your dog’s search history?

“wtf happened to my balls?”

“Single spaniels near me.”

“Why does human give cats better food?”

h/t Colonel Angus

Angus told me there was a thread on Reddit a while back that asked what dog owners would suppose their pets searched for, if they could type. lol

In the comments, let the people know what questions your dog, cat, bird, snek, bun bun, etc., would ask on the internets.

39 Comments on What would be in your dog’s search history?

  1. GoB
    SATURDAY, 22 JUNE 2024, 8:15 AT 8:15 AM
    “Why do I have to go outside? I can pee on the floor just fine and it’s not like you ever pee outside in the yard.”

    …I live in the country, insulated from neighbors and with my own creek, so that last part isnt stricty true and my dog KNOWS it…

    8
  2. my dog;

    Where is my tennis ball? *click!*

    WHERE is my TENNIS ball? *click!* *click!*

    OK, WHERE THE H IS MY TENNIS BALL!!!!”*click!**click!*click!* *click!**click!* *click!*

    6
  3. …also my dog;

    “How do I get MORE time with my female human and still get my male human to sneak me trea…OMG SOMEONES WALKING UP THE STREET A HALF ACRE AWAY! BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK!

    13
  4. My border collie Kirby, How soon can I go outside and start up the zoomies and barking at everything that moves. And where is my frisbee? And why can’t I eat the cat’s food, Finn tries to eat mine. And please, please when are we going for a ride in the car.

    10
  5. Why can’t dogs eat human food?

    Why do cats slap me with their paws?

    What’s the best way to kill a cat?

    Where can I find more squirrels?

    Why don’t the neighbors like me?

    Are possums good to eat?

    14
  6. How to catch squirrel

    How to catch bunny

    How to acquire entire pizza

    Yo where my bitchez at!

    How to catch duck

    How to catch deer

    How to build ramp for kitchen counter

    How to get human to catch squirrel for me

    How to get human to catch bunny for me

    14
  7. My dog never had this issue, but Ive known a lot that would have “OnlyFans Humpworthy Human Legs” in their searches.

    …guess I just dont have the legs for it myself anymore…

    5
  8. Why do dogs have to be tied to their humans?
    My border collie is trained, all I have to do is snap my fingers and point to my right side, and she comes to heal.
    Then when we meet someone walking their dog, she does a happy dance thing, just to piss’em off maybe.

    8
  9. @geoff the aardvark:

    My wife and I pissed of her older sister off years ago when she had a cat by giving her a copy of the funny book 101 uses for a dead cat.

    I’m a cat guy and I LOVED that book! Especially “oven mitts” đŸ˜®

    7
  10. @geoff the aardvark:

    It sure isn’t How much is that doggie in the window.

    The one with the wag-gle-y tail?

    Patti Page, 1953. I think that’s my earliest memory of hearing a song on the radio. I’d have been about 4.

    7
  11. Why are those: Brown, Gray & White/orange/blue vans allowed into the subdivision?

    Hey, I understand the garbage guys. They know what they’re doing, but the others are just evil. Throwing things on our porch and walking across our lawn. It’s just WRONG!

    BARK, BARK, BARK BARK, BARK, BARK BARK, BARK, BARK BARK, BARK, BARK!!!!

    9
  12. My dog would probably be hitting up her veterinarian’s website and cancelling all her appointments.

    Just for funsies, y’all have to check out the YouTube channel Layla The Boxer.
    It is hilarious.

    6

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