h/t Tony R. for new title. 😂
NYP: This would-be kidnapper crapped out — when his victim reportedly smeared her dog’s poop on his face after he assaulted her.
Michael James Ward, 47, allegedly attacked the 30-year-old Tennessee woman while she was walking her dog about 1:40 p.m. Aug. 22 along a trail in the Forks of the River Wildlife Management Area in Knoxville, WBIR reported.
Police said the homeless man tried to drag her into the woods after punching her multiple times, leaving her with serious injuries to her head and face.
But the woman fought back with the only available weapon she had — a bag of her dog’s feces, which she smeared into his face as he brandished a knife, according to the news outlet. read more
Dude was obviously shit faced before he was shit faced.
He can tell the judge he wasn’t aware of what he was doing as he was shitfaced at the time.
Found weapons are available everywhere, in every situation. Her ability to recognize and use a bag of dog crap as one, even when injured and threatened with someone superior in strength, weapon, and crazy is what makes HER awesome.
The weapon is NEVER as important as the hand that weilds it.
Pedo and his F-15s would do well to remember that.
https://youtu.be/uHlaUfxToi8
Now that is some quick and creative thinking.
As a side note, how does a homeless man post post pictures of himself on social media? What’s the backstory here?
That’s great! She whacked him with her deuce bag.
stirrin the pot hmm… maybe ‘homeless’ is his cover for being a freaky freak? Or he has buddies who have phones?
You just never know these days.
MJA – my thoughts too.
FBI: “There will be a three month, $100k investigation to determine if it was in fact dog poop, if it was from her dog, and if her dog was at the 1/6 “insurrection”, as claimed by the defendant. In the meantime, the woman will be detained without due process as the case investigation proceeds.”
Hiiiiiiiiiiidee Hooooooooo! (Mr. Hankey reference)
Ewwww, that stinks!
Something about this story stinks . . .
shit head
That couldn’t happen around here; anyone who actually puts their dog’s feces in a bag, just leaves the bag on the sidewalk for someone else to pick up. It is, however nice to know, that when Traitor Joe takes away our guns, we still have other options for self defense.
I guess you could say her attacker was de-turd?
Fuuuuck, Tony R., where were you earlier??? Too late to change the headline. 😂
No. I’m doo-ing it. I don’t care.
I’m guessing at the command, probably something like “Scheiss, Hund!”
@MJA – “…No. I’m doo-ing it. I don’t care…”
Sorry to get technical, because I like the description, but “de-turd” means removing the turd, not deterring the attack. Sadly, it’s my lot in life to point out theses technicalities.
Oh what the hell, de-turd, deterred, it’s all the same for purposes of humor. 🙂
Hold on now. Technically, she removed the piece of shit that was bothering her. lol
He got off light.
Ahhh, I see. It depends on what the definition of shit is. Slick would be proud. But I digress. Whether it’s de-turd or deterred, it matters not. The story was good!
What a crappy way to have a homeless man wash his face.
That lady gives a shit!
I am wondering what her dog was doing all this time. My dog is small but mighty when it comes to protesting me.
Not a dog, but if you had abused my 2 year old, I would have beat the hell out of you as well. It would have been worth getting arrested.
https://augustacrime.com/pre-school-mom-violently-assaults-teacher-at-catholic-school-in-grovetown/
Reminds me of a friend my mother had.
The woman was barely 5 ft tall.
The college basketball star asked her out.
He parked on a cliff so if she got out she’d go down the hill.
He whipped out his big *&*&.
She stuck her fingers down her throat and puked all over him.
LOL!!
Hey, you use what you have!