What are NOKO’s General’s Medals For?

The last time North Korea was at war these generals were toddlers, yet, they are bedazzled and festooned with all sorts of medals.

For what?

49 Comments on What are NOKO’s General’s Medals For?

  1. Food Testers – Shoeshines – Honorable Kim Lickers you Name It !
    Not to Forget The Posthumously Awarded Medals of Bravery, Given Sparingly Only to Those Who ” Ride in the Bombs” !!!




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  2. They collect bottle caps. The picture depicts this years 8 finalists. An annual festival where the winner is awarded a riceball for his family.




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  3. These men are very brave indeed. The medals are awarded for funny jokes told to KJU. Problem is if you take the chance and KJU doesn’t laugh you will be immediately executed. These are in fact the funniest men in NOKO. I mean look at those clown suits!




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  4. All we need to defeat N. Korea:
    1.) A Chinook helicopter
    2.) An electro-magnet hung from the sling hook of the Chinook.
    Fly directly over these idiots, turn the magnet on, and fly away with his “Top Brass”..




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  5. https://www.quora.com/Why-do-North-Korean-generals-have-so-many-medals

    1. Attentiveness Award—this award is for listening to the Supreme Leader for numerous hours. Failure to stay awake can lead to death. No sleepy sermons here. See North Korea executes defense chief for falling asleep during meeting, South Korea’s spy agency says | Fox News

    Kim Jong-un executes official for sleeping in a meeting

    2. North Korean Competence Award—this award in for appearing capable in performing your duties. Failure to appear competent can lead to death. See North Korean Leader Kim Jong-un Executes a Turtle Farmer For ‘Incompetence’ | VICE News

    3. Partners in Peace Award—this popular award is given to those who had any contact with Denis Rodman while he was in North Korea during several trips. Since Kim Jong-un worships Denis Rodman for appearing like the average American (facial jewelry, tattoos, sunglasses worn inside buildings, bleached hair, odd behavior) and he uses Denis’s image a lot to show North Koreans what average Americans look like. It really works.

    http://dujour.com/culture/dennis

    4. North Korean Brazen Bull Award—this award is for general officers who have expressed interest and zeal for the Chicago Bulls (see above). This is issued to general officers only. See How Kim Jong-un Came To Love The Bulls

    5. Kim Jong-II Choo-Choo Award—This award was for senior officers that accompanied him on train trips as he had a fear of flying and refused to fly. See 10 Insane Facts About North Korea – Listverse

    6. The Brilliant Leader Worship Award—Kim Jung-un is referred to as the Brilliant Leader and surrounds himself with a large litany of yes-men dedicated to boosting his ego. Those who come up with the most creative compliments and praises are able to win this award. Sometimes called the “Whose Your Daddy Award” but very coveted. Like father like s-un: North Korean leader dictates to his entourage.

    7. Supreme Gulag Award—officers affiliated with the countries massive gulag system where 200,000 North Koreans are imprisoned for dissent, etc. are eligible for this award. See North Korea’s Gulags

    A Chilling Look Inside North Korea’s Modern-Day Gulag

    8. Amazing Execution Award—this little known award is given to military officers who come up with interesting and creative ways to execute North Koreans. It has also been awarded to those who participate in these bizarre executions. Kim Jong Un’s Cruel & Unusual Executions

    9. Eating Well Award—this award is for securing better rations than the rank and file soldiers. This award is awarded for every three years of prosperity in food consumption while the remainder of the military forces starve. This is nicknamed the “Rank Has its Privileges Award.” Defector: North Korean Troops Starving

    10. Heavenly Cow Award—this award was for all military officers that would also partake of Kim Jung-II’s favorite meat, the donkey. Also referred to as “Jackass Tu” award. See Kim dines on donkey and says it’s heavenly

    Kim dines on donkey and says it’s heavenly

    11. It’s a Family Affair Award–this award is for family members only who can survive his wrath. For example, his uncle, Jang Song Thaek, who was second-in-command was found guilty of “attempting to overthrow the state.” And so, if reports are to be believed, Kim Jong-un had him executed. His uncle was apparently first stripped naked and then thrown into a cage of ravenous dogs that finished the human off.




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  6. They are the ultimate badass warriors when they have so many medals that they have to wear some of them on their pant leg.
    The enemy run for their lives upon seeing all that awesomeness.
    Of course they are all made of plastic so as not to inhibit their awesome warrior skills. Definitely high speed low drag units. So impressive in every way! Please don’t hurt America, snicker, snort, ha ha.




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  7. Do they clank when they walk?

    Seriously, I know it is their uniform, but I can imagine that some of those men wish the design was a bit more military-like.




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  8. It is like an evil, warped version of boy scout medals. they probably get one if they have painted toe nails.




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