Joe6Pak sends this in –
One day a man decided to retire…
He booked
himself on a Caribbean
cruise and proceeded to have the
time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.
He soon found himself
on an island with no other people,
no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.
After
about four months,
he is lying on the beach one day
when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.
In disbelief,
he asks, “Where did you
come from? How did you get here?”
She replies,
“I rowed over from the other side
of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank.”
“Amazing,” he notes.
“You were really lucky to
have a row boat wash up with you.”
“Oh, this thing?”
explains the woman.
“I made the boat out
of some raw material I found
on the island. The oars were whittled
from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom
from palm tree branches, and the sides
and stern came from a
Eucalyptus tree.”
“But, where
did you get the tools?”
“Oh, that was no problem,”
replied the woman. “On the
south side of the island, a very
unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed.
I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln,
it melted into ductile iron and I used that
to make tools and used the tools to
make the hardware.”
The guy is stunned.
“Let’s row over to my place,”
she says “and I’ll give you a tour.”
So, after a short time of rowing, she soon
docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man
looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat.
Before him is a long stone walk
leading to a cabin and
tree house.
While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope,
the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into
the house, she says casually, “It’s not much,
but I call it home. Please sit down.”
“Would you like a drink?”
“No! No thank you,”
the man blurts out, still dazed.
“I can’t take another drop of coconut juice.”
“Oh it’s not coconut juice,” winks the woman.
“I have a still. How would you like a
Tropical Spritz?”
Trying to hide his continued amazement,
the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.
After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces,
“I’m going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you
like to take a shower and shave? There’s a razor
in the bathroom cabinet upstairs.”
No longer questioning anything,
the man goes upstairs into the bathroom.
There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a
piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow
ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.
“This woman is amazing,” he muses. “What’s next?”
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing
but some small flowers on tiny vines,
each strategically positioned,
she smelled faintly of
gardenias. She then
beckons for him
to sit down
next to
her.
“Tell me,”
she begins suggestively,
slithering closer to him, “We’ve
both been out here for many months.
You must have been lonely. When was the
last time you played around? She stares into his eyes.
He can’t believe what he’s hearing.
“You mean…” he swallows
excitedly as tears
start to form
in his eyes,
.
.
.
.
“You’ve built a Golf Course?”
BWAHAHAHA.
“Played a round” I got it!!!! Excellent.
I was getting kinda, sorta excited myself 😉
I love t he smell of gardenias on a woman
I got worked up at the hemp rope part. I don’t drink!😀
A fudge packing duffer fluffer
Yep… I know I’D be lookin’ forward to a round of golf by then, too! 🤔
Hope she built him a barcalounger, too. 🥰
Heck, she had me when she forged iron.
It’s possible this is one joke that only old golfers appreciate. But wait, how about a rabbi joke…..never mind.
10!
Reminds me of a flyer going the rounds in Vietnam, CA 1969-70. It was a drawing of a gorgeous babe in a negligee standing in her kitchen. She says, “After being in Vietnam for 12 months you probably want a home cooked dinner more than anything, right?”
Old one from the 1950’s.
A fine looking lady married a rather dumb man. On their wedding night, she was hot to trot, but he didn’t know what to do. Finally, in exasperation, she said: Take the hardest thing you’ve got and put it where I pee”.
So he takes his bowling ball and puts it in the toilet.
Is that a Titleist in your pants or you just happy to see me?
She had me at “stratum of alluvial rock”.
Nice. Hahaha. Sending to father in law.
She had me when she showed up from the other side of the island.
Was looking over a possible carpentry job when the homeowner asked if I could give him a rough estimate. Told him I’d rather not but he insisted. Kicked him in the nuts and told him $250.
I was a house painter for six years. Didn’t think I’d ever finish that thing.
DavidW April 2, 2019 at 4:22 pm
“Played a round” I got it!!!! Excellent.
————————–
I guess I’m dense cuz I didn’t get it until I read your response. Hint: I don’t play golf.
What?
Very funny!
There is an alternate version of the punchline to this joke that goes like this…
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned. She smelled faintly of gardenias. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.
“Tell me,” she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, “We’ve both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. When was the last time you played around and got dirty?” She stares into his eyes.
He can’t believe what he’s hearing.
“You mean…” he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes,
.
.
.
.
“You’ve built a Jeep too?!”