A drunk gets up from the bar… – IOTW Report

A drunk gets up from the bar…

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard from the bathroom.
A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
drunk
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. “What’s all the screaming about in there? You’re scaring the customers!”

“I’m just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes my testicles really hard.
“With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says…”You idiot! You’re sitting on the mop bucket!”

***
h/t Doc.

8 Comments on A drunk gets up from the bar…

  1. This guy Doc was a piano player in a down town Bar in Manhattan. A good one. He could play any tune a customer asked for.
    He also had a monkey that the costumers enjoyed. The monkey used to run around the tables and up and down the bar and so on. Very funny. People loved it all. Doc could play anything you wanted the hear; Danny Boy, Ava Maria, O solo Mio, Dixie, anything.
    One day this big Texan came into the bar with a blonde whore. They ordered drinks and drank. At one point Doc’s monkey pissed in the whores drink. This pissed off the Texan. He approached Doc and said, shouted, “Do you your monkey pissed in my girlfriends drink.?

    Doc. ” No Sir but if you can whistle a few bars I.m sure I can pick it up.”.

  2. Teddy Kennedy’s skeleton walks into the Hades Bar & Grille and tells the bartender, “Give me an extra dry Stoli martini…and a mop.

    FDR in Hell told me that one at Satan’s 2nd of July picnic today in Philly’s Fairmount Park..
    🙂

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