Prisoner Wins 750K Lawsuit After Doing Hard Time – IOTW Report

Prisoner Wins 750K Lawsuit After Doing Hard Time

He probably would have gotten more with the right lawyer. I’m sure it was just some court appointed lawyer taking the case pro boner.

NYDN-

A former inmate’s untreated six-day erection while locked up in The Tombs has climaxed in a $750,000 settlement from the city.

Rodney Cotton, 50, reached the six-figure deal on the eve of going to trial.

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He claims he suffered “permanent injuries to his penis” and “loss of function” due to the negligence of doctors at the Manhattan Detention Center and correction officers who ignored his pleas for help.

“They took my manhood!” Cotton of Brooklyn told the Daily News on Monday. “It’s embarrassing. We’re here to create. I can’t perform my duties as a man.”

Nicholas Paolucci, a spokesman for the city Law Department, confirmed a settlement had been reached.

“If I had the choice between the reward and having my manhood restored, I’d have my manhood restored in a heartbeat,” said Cotton, who has been incarcerated for 39 of his 50 years, including a prison stint for a 1989 manslaughter case in Brownsville.

!snip!

ht/ Mr. Mxyzptlk

One of your duties as a man is to not be in jail for 4/5ths of your life. And at the age of 50, your days of “creating” should be over unless you can pay for it. We don’t need need anymore Rodney Cottons springing forth from some other parasitic hoodrat’s loins.

 

23 Comments on Prisoner Wins 750K Lawsuit After Doing Hard Time

  1. “A former inmate’s untreated six-day erection while locked up in The Tombs”

    what were they supposed to do for him? get him a hooker? and just why couldn’t he wack himself off?

  2. I bet he was the Hit of Cell Block B “downlow boyz” with a six day boner.

    I can imagine his cellie hunched in the corner, all nervous and wide-eyed. “Keep that thang over there! I ain’t like that!”

  3. That really doesn’t cure the problem.
    If I were to tell you how they actually treat ischemic priapism, it would give every guy that reads this the shivering willies (NPI). Look it up if you wish, though.

    (Hint: it involves penile aspiration)

    : )

  4. Interestingly enough, there’s no mention as to why a 50-year old man would have a six day boner, which is basically beyond the realm of human fucking possibility

    I’m guessing the dumb bastard took about five tabs of Viagra just before he got arrested

    Perhaps he was about to get pinched for selling Viagra without a license and thought he should swallow the evidence

  5. I knew it! I knew as soon as I keyed it in, that some character would make a comment like that. I try to be serious JUST ONCE…

    Here, have an upvote for not disappointing me, fellow humorist.

    ; }

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