Her Fourth Wedding – IOTW Report

Her Fourth Wedding

Saturday, 11 July 2015, 12:00 Cardigan Uncategorized 26

A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.

wedding dress

“Of course, madam,” replied the sales clerk, “exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?”

The bride-to-be said, “A long frilly white dress with a veil.”

 

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, madam, but such dresses are usually more fitting for the first time bride who is more innocent in the ways of life, if you get my meaning.”

“WELL!,” replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk’s directness,

“I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.

You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our honeymoon hotel.

My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon hotel that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again.”

“What about your third husband?”

“That one was a DEMOCRAT”, said the woman, “and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened.”
*****

h/t Doc

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DOC! 

25 Comments on Her Fourth Wedding

  2. Happy Birthday, Doc.
    And here’s another one for you:

    A woman was playing golf when she took a big swing and fell.

    The party waiting behind her was a group from Washington, DC that included Barack Obama, who quickly stepped forward and helped her to her feet.

    She thanked him and started to leave, when he said, “I’m Barack Obama and I hope you’ll vote for DemocRATS in the 2016 election.

    She laughed and quickly said, “Sorry, Mr. President, I fell on my ass, not my head.”

  8. HB, Doc. Many happy returns.

    Speaking of weddings…This gown is quite shocking IMHO, for its modesty and elegance. Nicky Hilton is from one of the richest families in America. She could have any dress she wanted. She chose this demure number. Same with The Donald’s daughter. No strapless number for her either. Just elegant.

    http://pge.sx/1D8hSdm

  10. Mr. and Mrs. Rothschild exchanged vows in an outdoor garden on the palace grounds before family and friends dressed in traditional black-tie including Chelsea Clinton…

    Chelsea Hubbell was dressed in black-tie? I hope she wore more than just the tie. Maybe she’s self-identifying as a man so she’ll get paid more on the next job she fails at.

  21. Nice joke Doc, a bit of misdirection with an interesting (possibly sexy) lead up. Thanks for share and always adding to the discussion.

    Looking forward to many years more of rye wit and thoughtful commentary, H-B Herr Doc.

  22. ♬♩♬♬♪♬♬ Happy Birthday to you! ♬♬♩♩♪, Happy Birthday to you!♬♩♬♬♪♬ Happy Birthday dear Doc! ♬♩♬♬♪♬ ♬♬♩♩♪ Happy Birthday to you! ♬♬♩♩♪ ♬♬♩♩♪…..

    and many more!♬♩♬♬♪♬ ♬♬♩♩♪ ♬♩♬♬♪♬♬♬♩♬♬♪♬ ♬♩♬♬♪♬ ♬♬♩♩♪♬♬♩♩♪ ♬♬♩♩♪…..

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