Cuddles – IOTW Report

Cuddles

Tuesday, 15 September 2015, 23:25 Cardigan Uncategorized 17

duck butts

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As
she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his
stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.

After a moment or two, the vet
shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles,
has passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed,
“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied
the vet..

“How can you be so sure?” she
protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or
something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned
around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later
with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from
top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and
shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the
head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he
returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also
delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat
back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the
woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most
definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$150!” she
cried, “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!”

The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,
the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the
Cat Scan, it’s now $150.”

h/t Althing.

17 Comments on Cuddles

  6. NorCal duck hunter on a mid November stormy days out in his blind. A Green Head comes swinging into his spread and he jumps up and smokes the duck. About the time his dog gets back to the blind with the duck a game warden jumps out and demands, let me see that duck. The hunter through a the duck over to the warden who flips the duck head down, sticks his finger up the ducks add, gives it a whiff and proclaims “That’s a Montana duck, you gotta Montana Hunting license?” The Hunter proclaims why yes I do, shows the warden and goes back to hunting. About a half hour later a Pintail comes sailing in and the Hunter dumps him. Dog gets back to the blind and the warden jumps out and demands the duck. Same routine, sniffs his finger a says “That’s an Alaskan Duck, you gotta Alaskan Duck license. Hunter says while yes I do. Back to the hunt. Twenty minutes later a Teal come smoking by the spread and the Hunter dumps him too. Same routine. Warden says, “That’s a Texad duck, you gotta Texas Duck Liscence? Hunters say why yes I do and shows the Warden. Now the Warden is pissed and says to the Hunter “Exactly where are you from to have all these hunting liscences?” The Hunter drops his waders around his ankles, bends over a says “You Tell Me”.

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