I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar On the Shark Tank

I just saw a Shark Tank rerun that made me laugh and made me furious at the same time.

For the uninitiated, Shark Tank is a show where entrepreneurs go to get their companies revved up by pitching their idea to a panel of billionaires with connections. Some companies and ideas are more in need than others, and the billionaires assess valuations versus the percentage of the company they can secure from the people begging for their money.

They were doing some “update” on a past deal that Mark Cuban invested in. It was some young woman with a sugar facial scrub, or some such bullshitty thing that is marketed in a basket of straw with a chunk of granular homemade soap wrapped in a hemp ribbon. You’ve seen it in every dinky shop that is on the balls of their a$$ in every little artsy section of town in America.

The woman was soooo sooooo excited to tell everyone about the update.

“Before Shark Tank we were doing only $50,000 in sales, but an hour after the show we were doing $250,000 in sales, and now we’re doing a million dollars in sales, and I’m soooooo excited. This is awesome.”

Then she talked about how she had to hire 20 people and 8 interns just to keep up with the demand!

The camera does a sweep of the room and there isn’t a swinging di¢k in the lot. It’s all giggly girls about 27 years old, and they all look alike, wearing mom jeans and a company shirt.

Then she goes on a little militant riff and outlines her vision and manifesto.

“I’m a woman, and I want to be a symbol for women and be a top CEO and conquer the world AS A WOMAN!!!!!”

Let that sink in for a minute. Has it hit you yet?

Uhhh, Binty, your entire company was bankrolled by a MAN!!!!!!

I’d love to ask this dope why there aren’t any women in the office. She’d probably say something along the lines of, “because we feel the atmosphere, free of men, allows us to be ourselves, and it won’t create any distractions that the presence of dual sexes can create. It’s a company for women, by women… womens, womeny, womenish.”

In other words, the exact same reasons men in the office back in the 40s used, reasons that are looked down upon as ists and isms of the most heinous variety.

I’d love for someone with the will and the time to sue the bitch for sexism just to make a point. I wouldn’t have even batted an eye over the entire segment if she didn’t go on her ridiculous WOMEN POWER rant when the bulk of her financing has the smell of Mark Cuban’s cologne all over it.

No wonder she needed his money, she’s clueless.