He renders his decision from the bench in the form of a poem. The poem will give you a little insight to what the inmate’s claim was.
Cold showers caused his bowels to malfunction
Or so the plaintiff claims
A strict uncaring prison guard
Is whom the plaintiff blames.
While in line for recreation
And little time for hesitation
His anal sphincter just exploded
The plaintiff’s britches quickly loaded.
It made the inmates laugh and play
To see the plaintiff’s pants this way
The foul, unsightly, putrid mess
Caused the plaintiff major stress.
Claiming loss and shame to boot
The plaintiff filed the present suit
But the law provideth no relief
From such unmitigated grief.
Neither runs nor constipation
Can justify this litigation
Whether bowels constrict or flex
*De minimus non curat lex.
More at Downtrend
*(The law does not concern itself with trifles.)
That made my day.
I like the way he got that Australian phrase in at the end …
and thanks for the transition.
“I don’t want to live in a world where a 2 million dollar turd exists”
He obviously hasn’t been to the White House…
Uh…I believe that was “Austrian,” Joey…not to be a language Nazi or anything.
I b’lieve – and you could look it up – that “Austrian” is a sub-liminalization of “Australian” and that their really, more or less, the same things – just different.
There language ain’t American, that’s for sure!
We’ll likely never know for sure, but take on this is that the con crapped his pants on purpose so he could file suit.
In any case, it must have been a pretty small turd for the judge to point out that de minimus non curat lex.
Oops: “…but my take on this…”
Dang fingers.