Maybe I would pretend to give reparations a consideration when I heard a black pundit make an argument that doesn’t sound like they are in need of reparations from whatever school they went to– assuming that they paid for it.
Here is Julia Craven 
making her 5th grade-level argument for reparations:
Let’s say you’re driving down the street and someone rear-ends you. You get out of your car to assess the damage. The person who hit your vehicle gets out of his car, apologizes for the damage and calls his insurance company. Eventually, you receive a check for the harm done.
Okay. Hmmm. Alrighty…
Julia, can we call our insurance company and have them write you a check for all the wrongs you have suffered by whitey? I’m on board with reparations if we can call Flo and have her pay you and shut you the hell up forever.
Also, your example has your car being hit, not your ancestor’s car. If I hit your car does my insurance company beef up your check because your great, great, great uncle was also rear-ended by whitey?
Also, what happens if a black dude hits your car? What happens if the black dude doesn’t have insurance? Is it still whitey’s fault?
I know, it’s stupid to pick apart this asinine analogy.
How about we pick apart the meat and potatoes of her assertions?
William Darity, a public policy professor at Duke University who has studied reparations extensively, proposes two specific requirements for eligibility to receive a payout. First, at least 10 years before the onset of a reparations program, an individual must have self-identified on a census form or other formal document as black, African-American, colored or Negro. Second, each individual must provide proof of an ancestor who was enslaved in the U.S.
Not that I’m in the business of making your arguments for you, but Julia, when I was a mere child I could puncture this line of thinking.
Are reparations in order because someone was the descendant of a slave or because they’ve been the victim of systemic racism?
When I deliver my daily dose of required-by-law-whitey discrimination against blacks, I don’t ask if they are descended from slaves. I simply force them to drop out of high school, do some drugs, have a baby, and then I don’t hire them and I incarcerate them.
I’d think all blacks would be in line for reparations, no? All blacks, regardless of whether they are descended from slaves or not, receive the wrath of whitey on a daily basis. Just look at Barack Obama, Eric Holder, Loretta Lynch, this writer for Huff Po, etc.
And if that’s the case, you’d have to prove that you’d have more in life if you weren’t black. Those are the papers you’d have to file. That’s some tough paperwork.
I see now why you stick to the “descended from slaves” argument. Somebody thought ahead and fine-tuned your shakedown.
And how much of a shakedown is it? In the article Julia talks about divvying up 6 trillion dollars, nearly a 1/3rd of our GDP.
Let’s do the math. There are 45,000,000 blacks in America. Let’s say 100% are descendants from slaves. That’s roughly $133,000 per person.
Wow- look who’s a millionaire!!—>
Thank the Lord that whitey made her have all those children, dooming her to poverty forever.
Do you think all the various fathers will come running back into the picture to claim a stake in the family fortune? I think so.
Also, now that blacks would be ineligible for welfare, what’s the over/under on the average black person with $133,000 in their pocket being broke again in the future?
How long before we had to re-institutionalize welfare?
I’m sorry to be so cynical, but I’m a living, breathing, thinking human being that is able to observe the American landscape.
We do not have a reparations problem. We have a cultural problem. And it’s not exclusive to blacks.
The popularity of Bernie Sanders tells me that there are plenty of white people lining up for their “reparations” too.
The “99%” is code for slave.
There are plenty of people, black and white, looking for a free ride with their ridiculous reasoning for why they deserve it.
The earners are outnumbered.
America seems to be doomed.
The “rules” should also require that census records show who owned the slaves. Only 1% of white Americans owned slaves but 25+% of freed blacks owned slaves.
The the “rules” should subtract the cradle to grave clothing, medical care, housing and food that slaves got from the calculated “value” of their work.
Finally, all the calculated reparations should be zeroed out by Anthony Johnson, a freed indentured servant from Africa who sued to legalize slavery (Virginia, 1655).
After that we can add the cost of all the social, welfare, riots, crime and affirmative action programs to what blacks owe white Americans.
How about the BLACK’s reparations to Whitey for Whitey’s ancestors fighting and dying in a Civil War that free their ancestors, the Slaves?
How about the reduction in MY lifestyle from the premature death of MY ancestors?
Let’s see. . . .and then gotta prove that I’m a descendant of Union soldier(s) (doesn’t matter where the ancestor came from, North or South). And since there would be multiple ancestors leading up to me. . . . WHOOPEE!! Multiple payday!
But then again, there would be the problem of collecting from single moms with multiple children living off welfare, and their deadbeat runaway dads.
(ok.. .. /sarc off)
I want reparations for the way MY ancestors were treated!
http://www.victoriana.com/history/irish-political-cartoons.html
I want reparations for the amount of money we’ve thrown at black programs to no avail.
So subtracting the $22 trillion we’ve already spent over the last fifty years in the “war on poverty”, it turns out Ms. Craven (you can’t make up these names, folks) owes us $16 trillion.
So will that be cash or check Ms. Craven?
What is it with these SJWs and their hair? Hers looks like a combo between a brillo pad, an uncooked block of Top Ramen and a string mop.
I think the right word would be “Repatriation” not “Reparations”
$133,000 per black american? A bucket of KFC would cost $99!
My family–on both sides came to the US in the twentieth century; we owned no slaves–therefore, go take your silly-assed whine to someone who gives a shit!
BTW, how many bales of cotton did massa have you pick each day?
They keep agitating about this and all I have now is reparation ache.
“Reparations” is nothing more, and certainly, nothing less, than a contorted excuse for “Give me free shit!”
Negroes never demand “reparations” from the descendants of the negroes who TRADED their ancestors into slavery.
Negroes never demand “reparations” from the descendants of the moslems and Portuguese who SOLD their ancestors into slavery.
They ONLY demand “reparations” from the people who FREED them from slavery.
Curious, ain’t it?
I believe the CVS & liquor store in Ferguson are demanding reparations too…
That Did It
Lazlo is Scot, Irish, German, and English. So Everybody owes me!
Romans badgered ALL my Ancestors so the Pope owes me too.
I will pay your reparations on these conditions:
Verify they are directly descended from American owned slaves
Deduct all welfare and benefits received in their lifetime
Income will be taxed, deducted prior to pay out
Immediate cessation of all actions, activities, and operations of the following: Black Congressional Caucus, NAACP, and any other group that receives public funds.
Affirmative action ceases immediately
Twenty year guarantee of abstinence from public assistance of any kind.
Immediate revocation of all hate crime laws both State and Federal.
All minors are exempt from payment (this will keep them from ‘producing’ more recipients).
Also pick one term that they want to be called by (i.e. Negro, Black, Person of Color etc.) and make them stick to it for one hundred years.
If you believe reparation will be just one sum pay, boy are you wrong. They are going to demand money all the time.
Julia must be her slave name…
JaQuanisha is her given name
Anyone expecting reparations that is more than five pounds overweight will be exempt because you are obviously doing just fine.
One two-term Kenyan president = Reparations complete.
Give them $200.000 and a one way ticket to the sub Saharan paradise of their choosing. The return on the investment would be phenomenal.
All this talk about free shit is making my ass ache.
Could someone please pass the Reparation H.
Rachel Dolezal called and wants her weave back.
I was once the victim of a mosquito bite…
Reparations would be the same thing as QE4/Helicopter Money, I wouldn’t necessarily rule it out because it would serve multiple purposes in the election season.
If you see reparations, QE4, student loan forgiveness on a massive scale, gigantic income tax refunds for everybody or any type of “helicopter money” drop it likely means the end is nigh for the US financial system so it would definitely be time to buy some (more) hard assets (Au, Ag, Pb & Brass etc).
I don’t have to pay reparations; I’ve got ancestors who were abolitionists, were conductors on the Underground Railroad, and fought for the Union! My family has already paid!
Go find the ancestor of the Muslim and African slave traders and ask them for reparations.
Adding to pageoturner’s rules: Prove your relatives were slaves and prove mine were slave owners. I owe you nothing.
1/4 of the family were poor fishermen in Maryland, 1/4 Passamaquoddy Indian in Maine, the other 1/2 arrived in the US in the 1920’s.
Reparations have been paid for decades. It’s called racial quotas, Affirmative Action, Medicaid, Obamacare, SNAP, Aid to Dependent Children, General Assistance, and on and on.
Her hair looks like ‘bed head’ to me and is better than grease bucket Ramen head style worn by Debbie Wastedman Schitz.
I want reparations for being female dammit. Decades of men have forced my people into the kitchen against our will to make sammiches during football games . The horror, the horror. Show me the money!
@geeknerd ~ I’m with you. I have ancestors that died fighting for the Union to set the slaves free. One died in Libby Prison in Richmond.
….where be mah resper a chuns?
Reparations is a socialist con game to destabilize the US economy even further. A couple of points Mzzz. Craven needs to consider, but most certainly too dense to understand:
Slavery is not illegal in the African nations where most black Americans have descendents.
Slavery was the law of the land in several states in this country, therefore reparations are not valid.
In the United States it is a crime for an innocent person to serve a sentence or pay a penalty if no crime has been committed.
It should follow, US descendents of slave owners and their ancestors do not owe black Americans anything.
Leftists are rabid and won’t give up until they bankrupt the country.
Ms. Craven,
Attempting to extor- um, I mean, elicit – reparations from the U.S. Government is inappropriate, since it was the very agency by which the slaves were finally freed. No, it would seem to me that there is only one authority that attempted to keep those slaves in bondage, and that authority should be solely and completely responsible for any reparations to be paid. Of course, I’m talking about the Confederate States of America, to whom all such compensation requests should be directed.
P.S. – FYI, at one time it was my understanding that the headquarters of the C.S.A. is in Richmond, Virginia, although it’s possible they may have relocated since then. Good luck with your efforts!
?
I fucking dare TPTB to pay reparations-go ahead, really, do it.
Here’s what will happen.
1) Every lucky recipient won’t have 2 nickels to rub together a year from now but they sure will have some nice wheels, weaves and flat screens.
2) The producers, that is whites for the most part, will suddenly find filing out their 1040s to be…too difficult.
And the next is a hopeful wish
3) The producers in this country will realize that a BRA(black run America) isn’t working and will never work. NEVER. There was a reason that our ancestors believed segregation was a viable policy. Tell me please, about all of the smoothly running black cities or black countries. List for the rooster of great inventions that came from the minds of black intellectuals-yeah.
Careful what you wish for there because if it comes to pass it might be just the kick start the rest of us needed.
Further,
It kills me to see commenters actually taking this ignorant nubian seriously. LOOK A SQUIRREL!!!!!
Next up? Come to my house and argue with my macaw. Only difference is my macaw is pretty and keeps quiet in movie theaters.
So, how about if I sue for all the shit that minorities have given me?
I’ve worked in my current location for three years. Two weeks ago, for the third time during that period, my desk and work assignment had to be changed. Each time, the change was made because I was being bullied by a minority of one type or other, compounded with large doses of childish, unprofessional behavior.
I am sick of having the terms and conditions of my career dictated by these undereducated, lazy, vengeful shitwaffles.
greetings-I have been following the shit storm you’re living at your job. Seems you work your ass off while others around you…ahh…aren’t. This must be a government job, correct?
I know 3 people that are employed by the federal government and their story is that minorities(blacks) get away with shit that would get you fired even in the public sector. And I mean outrageous shit-and always with the threat of racism to be raised if their behavior is questioned.
I feel for you darling, I know you want to do the very best. I’m serious as a heart attack.
I’ll say a prayer for you tonight.
Evidently, after half a century and Trillions of dollars, it’s too much to axe them to become contributors instead of worthless, Federal Tit-Sucking generational parasites!!
“Axe them?” That sounds like a threat to a person of minority race, gender, or questionable sexual preference. Please remain close to home, as you will be contacted in the very near future to discuss your unfortunate choice of phrasing. Please note that if you are African-American, you may call your local office of Homeland Security and explain that this speech anomaly is part of your cultural heritage, in which case no further investigation will be required. Thank you.
😛
I want reparations from all the blacks who are trying to get reparations from me. Lets just say that Little Rock, Arkansas wasn’t such a bad place before the Crips moved in and started extracting “reparations” from the local citizens. Now the place is one of the most dangerous shithole cities of that size in America.
Pay up or shut up!
My grandmother picked cotton in Mississippi, and if she ever heard that I was asking for “reparations” because of that, she would disown me.
Shame on you miss craven, for trying to scam people out of money rather than trying to work for a living and encourage other members of your exclusive tribe to do likewise.
MM, thank you for your kind thoughts. The good news is that I am now back in my court’s Petition Room, which I am finding much improved since my last tour of duty in 2013-4. Long-time readers may recall that the previous supervisor of the department committed suicide in December 2013. His replacement has really cracked the whip and gotten rid of all the stuff that made me crazy the first time.
As for my tormentor, she too was moved, from her cushy assignment of handing out orders and process to an area where she now has to work like a mule. And because she sits 6′ from her supervisor, she’ll have to shape up. No more 90-minute lunches, being bitchy to litigants and co-workers, running her mouth on her cell phone all day, or using Victoria’s Secret perfume as an air freshener/cleaning agent. Life is good!
GFY,
Karma’s a bitch, ain’t she?