TSG– A man spotted yesterday afternoon performing oral sex on a woman lying down on a Florida beach boardwalk told cops that he was an “emergency responder and had to assist the female as it was his duty,” according to a criminal complaint.
A Treasure Island Police Department officer found Tracy Briley, 50, with his shorts at his ankles and “penis out in plain view” around 1 PM Wednesday. Briley, the cop noted, “was performing cunnilingus on a female subject laying on the beach boardwalk.”
Briley told the officer that he was homeless and “had nowhere else to have sex except in public.”
ht/ fdr in hell
He should’ve at least said he was performing the “him lick maneuver.”
They might’ve let him go if he had a good comic delivery.
I teach CPR; that ain’t how it’s done
@ Dave
Yes, it is, if your girl friend appears to be dead from the waist down. 😉
Well what does she have to say?
“I wuz just exercizing her diaphram”
Wrong diapham dude…
I used to be a cunning linguist, but these days I’m just a master debater.
NEXT!
Richard Gere has fallen on hard times.
Gerbils everywhere are relieved…
How do I apply for that job?
Now it makes sense why my ex volunteered every time they needed a live person to practice on at the fire station.
“I’m just doing my civic duty” my ass.
If he had been tossing the salad instead, it would have been the “hindlick maneuver”
It’s some kind of trick to get people to learn CPR.
Wrong end, buddy.
treasure Island boardwalk?!?
I go there all the time for “Original’s” pizza!
Never tried the fish….
He should have said that he was just having a taco for lunch!
“I Obviously Do Not Know What CPR Stands For”
Cervical Pre-coital Resuscitation
Did she specifically ask for a Slurpee?
The cop should be arrested. For disturbing the piece.
Just wondering, he wasn’t arrested for rape so it was consensual, why was the woman not arrested as well?
In its majestic equality, the law forbids men and women alike to perform oral sex in public, make unfounded assault accusations and steal elections.- apologies to A.France
This is the greatest news item I’ve ever read.
awd
Did she look like something she required? Or was it something just a comfort item?
Did she look like IT WAS something she required? Or was it something just a comfort item?
Do it right the first time…or do it again.
Shit. 10 years working in an ER and I got CPR wrong all that time?