Psychology Today The General Social Survey (link is external) found that the number of Americans with no close friends has tripled since 1985. “Zero” is the most common number of confidants, reported by almost a quarter of those surveyed. Likewise, the average number of people Americans feel they can talk to about “important matters” has fallen from three to two.
The article goes on to explain how loneliness can spread through a social network and how our technology is not helping matters.
Are we losing our ability to interact meaningfully with each other?
I can understand if you are a lonely teenager, but later…
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”
Genesis 2:24
Get married, have children, and you won’t feel so lonely.
It’s the electronic devices and
twits,tweets,instathis instathat,
snip chat snap chat ETC… Done
by design Ya know ??? called the social disconnect.
I’m sitting on My front porch in My “good” underwear sipping a Beer and
watching entire Families walk through beautiful and Historic Key West
……looking at their Galdamn phones….
Heck, watch any folks on a date..Young or old …( I always say there is a special place in Hell for People who take pics of their food and post it on FB)
Common conversation on My Boat ” I don’t have a signal out here”
I’ve Repealed and Replaced some of my long time friends over the last 8 years. It’s about shared values and the ability to discuss important things in a civil and rational manner.
Relationship with old friends degenerated into a series of empty and idle talks because it became apparent that we couldn’t speak of philosophy or even love of country, for that matter. It was hollow and was chewing gum for the ears.
These are people I used to go camping and fishing with. People we used to assemble for deck
Building parties.
Weird. Did I change or did they?
in addition to being constantly “plugged in”, these kids have been on some form of ADHD meds most of their life
Psychology Today has a vested interest in convincing as many people as possible that they need help.
@bcattin
I’m with you on the mobile devices. Here’s one thing I’ve noticed about women interacting with their devices while standing. Their arms are at chest level. I miss seeing their breasts.
Don’t wish to be lonely? Put your arms at your side and advertise. Those two beauties will attract lots of friends.
yes
I was never lonely in my younger days but the past eight years I’ve spent a lot of time speaking to myself.
Keeping busy is the cure.
We started late, so our kids aren’t into their teens yet, but most of our friends have kids in their teens and early 20w.
I see these kids all the time just playing with their phones and tablets, not interacting with anyone. And it seems most of them would much rather spend their weekends and evenings alone in their rooms, doing whatever on their laptops.
This doesn’t surprise me at all. It’s a generation of self-imposed isolation.
Maintaining family relationships is almost a full-time job. I just don’t have a lot of time for other people’s shit. But then I’m an introvert, as is the wife, so we really don’t need anyone else.
I spent so many years caring for my ailing elderly Dad until his death and now my husband is very ill. We have a special needs son and it is all I can do to talk with you guys. So on top of young people being disconnected there are people my age caring for aging parents. I have two friends (I guess I am lucky but both live far away) and each are caring for parents in their late 90s. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family but it is time consuming.
Speaking of good underwear, it comes from Amazon and if you feel like checking the mail it might be there. Don’t even have to put down the mobile device to pay for it or check on it’s location. Sadly, I’m becoming more of an online shopper because the stores around here decent items is tricky and there’s really not all the time in the world to hit up every retail store that’s looking to rape me in suburbia. I do miss the days of venturing out to the mall, strip malls, ma n pa shops…. the quality and experience today just sucks ass and the people are miserable. Plus the drive is stress inducing from non attentive medicated drivers all around me.
Everything is scheduled, supervised, and orchestrated. Children don’t know how to be free. My closest friends, were the ones I got in trouble with. Skip school and go fishing with. Part Little Rascals, part Dead end kids.
There is a big difference between being alone, and being lonely.
I suppose there are many who lack the mental fortitude or strength of character to stand being alone.
My circle of acquaintances has shrunk over the years due to deaths and distance. Perhaps it is better this way- quality over quantity. At any rate it seems unavoidable. As Hemingway said, “People are dying now who never died before.”
I remain in contact with some close friends. Our occasional visits are significant events that seem always too short.
At this late point in my life I am blessed beyond measure. I have five, count that 5, people that I could call in the middle of the night to assist with body disposal.
That shit don’t come easy. But we are a happy few, and know our own. God bless the men I call my friends.
As we get older, our social circles shrink.
Good friends die, or move far away, and are not readily replaced.
The Boomer generation is full of those who for whatever reason were unlucky in marriage or otherwise were persuaded not to reproduce. Now they are ageing without the company and continuity of children or grandchildren.
And yes the obsessive internet gadgetry promises to alleviate loneliness but winds up worsening and intensifying the loneliness.
Much love to you, Corky. 🙂
“I’m sitting on My front porch in My “good” underwear…”
LMAO. I think we shop at the same place.
Some great posts…I did some drywall work earlier today, and must have gotten some dust in My eyes.
(MJA…Good underwear are ones that are still connected in the middle)
Hiding in their safe spaces is having its effect.
I suppose in a generation or two kids will rebel ’cause all they ever see of their parents is on social media.
Never again hearing the term “hash tag” would be a great start. I’ve jettisoned Facebook, Twitter and whatever sites I once dabbled in. Unhealthy places occupied by mean spirited trolls.
PHenry.
They did. I’ve sadly noticed some of my great friends from high school have changed and not for the better. Just bitter and angry. And polar opposite politically from me. That doesn’t matter to me but to say 💩 like, “You’re not a Christian if you voted for Trump!” What happened with you since we graduated? And they’re like ashamed of those not-so innocent years. They condescending say, “I DON’T LISTEN TO IRON MAIDEN RELIGIOUSLY ANYMORE! MICHAEL STIPE IS THE SHIT!”
The perpetually offended must end up in hiding. Loneliness follows.
@jerry manderin
Remember that post from a few weeks back about conservatism being the new counter culture? Definitely applies. The establishment are the sixties leftists that never did a reassessment of the field of battle.
We are the new contrarians. Being a contrarian and questioning conventional thinking is not new territory for people like us.
When I was in Bryce Canyon two years ago, my roommate and I took the drive from the back of the park to the front. At each stop we encountered the same group of young adults – one male and two females. The ladies were looking at the view and enjoying themselves. The guy would pull himself out of the car, stand between them with the view behind and take his damn selfie stick and snapped a picture. He then went back into the car to post it on whatever.
This happened at every overlook. Took us both extreme discipline to not throw him over the cliff after the second stop. Asshole.
Corky…God bless you and keep you strong.
We were at Disneyland with the G-kids last week. We saw teens texting while they were on the rides! WTF?
Too much conversing on the internet has diminished their ability to recognize social cues that us older folks learned back in the day. In my day, you had a pager the size of a computer router or one of those bag phones, so you carried one only if it was absolutely necessary.
–Lowell–
“But we are a happy few, and know our own. God bless the men I call my friends.”
That’s as quotable as Ben Franklin, and has been added to memory. I wish I had a proper name to attribute it to, but Lowell will have to do. Thanks for the new proverb.
God also bless the kindred spirits.
Bag Phone! In my day you couldn’t get 6 feet from the refrigerator to make a call.
Increased Facebook time = decreased real Face to Face time.
I was a career submariner, both coasts, Hawaii and Guam.
Don’t have a need for “best” friends, just to be with my
family and I’m happy.
I don’t consider myself a ‘boomer, nor a X-genner, maybe
just an aberration.
@Corky – you and I are in the exact same position. God bless you.