Colorado Hunter Claims To Have Been Sexually Assaulted in the Woods – IOTW Report

Colorado Hunter Claims To Have Been Sexually Assaulted in the Woods

According to the victim, the attacker measured 8-foot tall and is extremely hairy. It has brown hair, dark brown eyes and extremely large feet.

He said it was a Sasquatch, but I have my own theory.

He said it was working his undies off when he stabbed it with his hunting knife.

Authorities are actually investigating this. One would think a DNA test on the knife would be the first order of business, and then we could safely rule out Michelle Obama.

Story at WND

ht/ sam s.

 

 

28 Comments on Colorado Hunter Claims To Have Been Sexually Assaulted in the Woods

  1. Colorado is legal THC State. It’s also full of Commiefornians. Some people are “furries.” Need I draw a Venn diagram?

    ***cough***cornholer***cough***

  2. We spent the rest of that day and most of that night
    Trying to find my brother, Bill
    Caught up with him ’bout six o’clock the next mornin’
    Naked, swinging on the windmill
    He said he flew up there
    I had to fly up and get him down
    He was about half crazy

  3. Well the very next day we picked a buncha them weeds
    and we put ’em in the sun to dry
    then we mashed ’em up, cleaned ’em all up
    put ’em in a corncob pipe.
    Smokin’ them wildwood flowers got to be a habit
    We never seen no harm
    We thought it was kinda’ handy
    Take a trip, never leave the farm……………………….

  4. I saw Bigfoot once.

    1951, back in Sequoia National Park. Had a foot on him thirty-seven inches, heel to toe.

    It made a sound I would not want to hear twice in my life.

  5. @Goldenfoxx, that there is a “tell”, the lack of chin in that pic is another tell

    Back east they don’t call ’em hunters, they be “cruising”

  6. OOOH I just saw his foto : He’s got CARWASH MOUTH complete with Bristles- So wrong !
    He was trolling Bigfoot , probrably wearing eau de Chawbacca to boot.

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