DavidThompson-
Excruciatingly Woke
In today’s competitive grievance culture, unearthing new sorrows, or reheating old sorrows, can require prodigious, indeed bewildering, feats of contortion. And so, in the pages of The Atlantic, we find one Alice Ristroph railing at the heavens. First, a little context:
On August 21, 2017, a total solar eclipse will arrive mid-morning on the coast of Oregon. The moon’s shadow will be about 70 miles wide, and it will race across the country faster than the speed of sound, exiting the eastern seaboard shortly before 3pm local time.
Clouds permitting, it should be quite a thing to witness.
It has been dubbed the Great American Eclipse, and along most of its path, there live almost no black people.
There we go. If that one caught you off guard, here’s another:
As the eclipse approaches, the temperature will fall and birds will roost, and then, suddenly, the lights will go out. For each place within the path of totality, the darkness will last a minute, maybe two, and then daylight will return. Oregon, where this begins, is almost entirely white. The 10 percent or so of state residents who do not identify as white are predominantly Latino, American Indian, Alaskan, or Asian.
This goes on for some time. It’s an attempt at symbolism, I think. A beverage may be useful.
From Oregon, the eclipse will travel through Idaho and Wyoming… Percentage-wise, Idaho and Wyoming are even whiter than Oregon… The few non-white residents of Idaho and Wyoming are not black — they are mostly Latino, American Indian, and Alaskan.
Perhaps this demographic information is all building to some kind of point, a moment of profundity. Any minute now.
From Kansas, the eclipse goes to Missouri, still mostly bypassing black people.
Surely a contender for The Most Woke Sentence Yet Uttered.
Moving east, the eclipse will pass part of St. Louis, whose overall population is nearly half black. But the black residents are concentrated in the northern half of the metropolitan area, and the total eclipse crosses only the southern half.
If you laughed at that, tittered even, you’re a terrible, terrible person.
I’m so racist my shadow is white
And they wonder why we don’t care about being called racist.
Why can’t I make black snowmen?
Oh, I gotta get that from the gutter.
uh oh …… does this mean that we have to tear down the moon?
But the moon will look black while its in front of the sun. Doesn’t that mean that the eclipse will actually be oppressing all the white people in its path?
And since the moon normally appears to be white, but during the eclipse it will appear to be black, isn’t that cultural appropriation under today’s “standards”?
This is all SO confusing! I long for the good ol’ days when being a racist / fascist / nazi wasn’t so complicated.
Yes I’m Afraid the Eclipse is as Racist as Pelosi’s Elders !
I’m waiting for liberals to change all words that use black as a negative.
Such as:
Black Ice
Black out
Black mail
Black balling
Black eye
Black list
Black heart
Check out the comments at the original site (heh):
http://democracyjournal.org/arguments/blackout/
So what is this racist saying, That people of color are so lowly that nature itself despises them? Sounds like someone campaigning for Grand Dragon.
Alice in wonderland baying at the moon. And she teaches law at Harvard. Good Lord!
So when the Earth goes dark during the eclipse do thug gangs come out and rob and carjack?
The solar eclipse is most certainly racist.
The eclipse is the Sun and the Moon in collusion to promote racist and white supremacist ideals in America.
Because the path of totality can be used as an informative demographic map to illustrate the following:
Where to buy a house and have the value actually go up
Where to go and not get robbed
Where law and order still exist
Where taxes are lower due to lack of entitlement dependents
Where statues of other times go unmolested.
Where people have guns instead of EBT cards
and on and on
This is just more definite proof that white people (me included) are superior.
So, us white people can make the moon pass where we want it to. What can you do?
After reading her diatribe (Most of it, I got as far as Cassius Clay) I turned to a few episodes of Professor Erwin Corey to get some comic relief. Funny guy, and he makes a lot of sense.
Total solipsist eclipse. It’s all about you and your thin black skin, honey.
I take my coffee BLACK!
And I like my chocolate DARK!