This is from early 2009 and will give you a flavor of the type of post one would typically see back then. Also, many commenters used to show up and get really pissed at our content, mainly because they thought we were serious.
Small Cars – India’s TATA Nano
India’s concept car is finally here! And it’s aptly named The TATA Nano. Especially if your name happens to be Nano. The proud makers of the Tata Nano boast that the car has no welding, it is actually glued together! Seriously, just like the planes you used to make with the rubber band propellers, which came apart at impact with a couch pillow.
The Tata Nano has upped the ante on the global race to develop the world’s smallest and most affordable cars. The following is a list of cars around the globe that are either in the market now, or will be released by early summer 2009.
Italy: The Arrivederci Thoma – At $1900, this car is actually cheaper than a casket, which is a fair market price considering the Arrivederci is made entirely of *wood. (*Construction Grade Balsa.)
France: The Au Revoir Philippe – Solid cheese construction. Our road tests showed that this auto is classically French, going from 0-60 in 4.8 seconds, in reverse.
Cuba: The Adios Amigos – Many were surprised to learn, considering it’s $1400 sticker price, that the Adios is entirely handmade, just like a $250,000 Rolls Royce. Turns out the Adios is actually made of hands. Avoid this vehicle.
Japan: The Banzai – already known for their small cars, the Banzai is definitely the smallest in Japan. The makers of the Banzai guarantee that you will only use one tank of gas for as long as you own the car. Actually, the exact wording in their ad is “The Banzai! You will only GET to use one tank of gas for as long as you own this car.” It also comes with a lifetime warrantee!
Israel – Shalom Shlomo – Nicknamed “The Fishbowl.” The Israelis have perhaps gone too far in terms of safety, the entire car, including the seats, steering wheel, engine, everything, is constructed of safety glass. *Tip – for only $200, upgrade to the tinted Shalom, you’ll thank us when you’re stuck out in the desert heat.
Frankly, this race to see who can develop the smallest most affordable car is getting tiresome. This is becoming like a silent auction, each person bidding in tiny increments. Well, our engineers here at iOWNtheWorld.com have said, “ENOUGH!” Like insanely out-bidding everyone for that lunch date with Gallagher, we have decided to construct, without a doubt, the world’s smallest and cheapest automobile (as long as automobile is defined as something that moves automatically.)
We, today, unveil the SeeYa Ernie.
We have saved a tremendous amount of money on our outer body construction, by eliminating it entirely. This is just one of the innovative ideas that help pass tremendous savings to our customers.
The SeeYa Ernie (the Seeya was named “Ernie” in tribute to our messenger guy, who we paid 20 bucks to test drive the automobile) base model is constructed on a National Wholesale Liquidator office chair chassis, and is powered by a very earth friendly engine. Gravity. The SeeYa Ernie GT (model pictured) is retrofitted with a Tecumseh 850, 2 stroke (well, 3, if you count your own) mini bike engine. This clever use of gravity and gas makes this beast (which can attain speeds of 135 mph (downhill) and about 26 mph uphill (your results may vary depending on your weight… and the size of the hill) every bit as fuel efficient as the Prius.
As you can see in the photo, the SeeYa Ernie comes with a navigational system, no opinion steering, front brakes, 4 wheel drive, air conditioning, upper body restraint, and a *safety airbag. (*Driver must collide with an airbag.) It also had a cup holder, until Ernie dropped his coffee.
We offer these, by special order only, for an astonishing low cost of $299.04 – less tax, dealer prep, destination charge, undercoating and death certificate.
Special note: Ernie’s family has asked for donations to iOwnTheWorld.com in lieu of flowers. You can make these donations through paypal on our homepage. No, seriously, donate.
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Comments:
Rock the Boats
March 2nd, 2009
Finally something that made me laugh.
These countries and their small cars is what’s kiiling this plamet.
It’s actually better to keep the proce of cars unaffordable.
This is all we need, more cars on the road.
Shecky GreeNazi
March 2nd, 2009
Lunch date with Gallagher? Bring a blue tarp.
Ira Zitski
March 2nd, 2009
Was that man hurt because you tricked him into using a very dangerous “car” so you could have a joke? I hope someone filmed this so the poor man’s family can sue you and shut you down.
Red Star
March 2nd, 2009
Ira you are just a just a Fu*^ing wealth of information, aren’t you?
Bill J
March 2nd, 2009
Ira, Ira, Ira. I can’t believe that you’re so stupid as to not know this is a digital image. Like the Dow, just when I think you’ve hit bottom, you go lower.
Ira Zitski
March 2nd, 2009
Of course I knew it was a faked image! I was making a joke. Isnt this supposed to be a humor site. Try keeping up please.
iOwnTheWorld.com » Blog Archive » Small bCars/b | Slime-tube
March 2nd, 2009
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Commissar Obamissar V
March 2nd, 2009
Ira Shitski, the sarcasm-using liberal?? Didn’t know there was such a thing… Or have I been so blinded by his history of insightful posting that I can no longer separate truth from fiction? I thought that, based on the requisite insults and hatred that it must be real.
booker Danno
March 2nd, 2009
Ira is merely backpedaling, the moron thought the pic was real.
Just like he thought Clinton left the U.S. with a surplus.
douchenberger.
Commisssar Red Star
March 2nd, 2009
Hey go easy on Ira, he can not help that he’s…Errrr Well Ira,
Commissar Obamissar V
March 2nd, 2009
No he can’t, Comrade Commissar. Therefore, the Government should help him
raysebiz
March 2nd, 2009
Thanks for the delayed reaction to the french car thats why i read everything.That was funny
Saurin
March 3rd, 2009
How dumb can anyone get. I understand because of superiority complex you guys have. You think that since car is “glued” togather, it will break into pieces. Tata’s have used a new technology of glueing metal borrowed from TIFR (Tata institute of fundamental Research) which works along with Indian Space Research Organisation. I guess the same technique is used in building rocket that launch satellites. Nano is designed for Indian Roads. No way they could risk for an option that is leave a chance that would break into pieces. I guess this forum is visited by bunch of most dumb technophobic people on planet.
Yacht C
March 3rd, 2009
Saurin…
R u 4 real???
Where the hell r u from anyway? U can’t even compose a sentence, never mind spell correctly!!
I suggest u go 2 another site & talk about something u REALLY understand!!
Yacht C
March 3rd, 2009
This is HYSTERICAL!!!!!
…. what a mind u have!!!
My personal favorite was the Adios Amigos!
Ewwwwww, hands!!! LOL
Carl Wright
March 4th, 2009
Uhhh Saurin.
Are you seriously trying to equate that tiny piece of shit with rocket science?
Yes, Nasa uses non welds, but the rockets aren’t designed for IMPACT!!!!!!!!!
Your TATA will end up in the wheel well of a 16 wheeler and no one will find you until he goes in for brake inspection.
I guess your’re a proud TaTA owner- AKA: rickshaw de elegance. Good for you. In America these crap buckets can be stored in our trunks for use at the golf course. They certainly will not inspire much confidence on a highway surrounded by tractor trailers. Please. We value are lives too much to trade in our cars for plastic covered tricycles.
Armani
March 4th, 2009
What are those on that vehicle – are those 12″ rims?
Will that even pass inspection for American roads?
R u kidding?
The impact crumple zone is your femur.
The airbags are your own yambag.
This shopping cart would be sucked into the vacuum caused by a passing truck – I am not kidding you.
You can keep the TATA.
Cheryl
March 4th, 2009
I wouldn’t f*ck a guy who drove a TATA.
I might consider changing his daiper.
Including the one on his head.
Saurin
March 5th, 2009
Nano is not designed for the “Most developed Nation” of the world. We at developing nations would like to have choice like Nano to travel short distances in city streets and not long haul journeys on express ways. For that we do have appropriate cars. You guys drive 6 cylinder cars around to get a loaf of bread. I feel that is really really stupid and wastage of non-renewable resources like gas. Doesn’t matter much to me actually what you think about it. As our world economy is going in recession, it not always to good idea to blow trumphets about things we use are superior than we others. Tommorow you may end with the inferior one. Just look at the committement of an organisation that takes up challenge to challenge the impossible. So many people can use this car not just in India but other developing nations to travel around by more safer means may be not safest.
Saurin
March 5th, 2009
Just a last word… How can you build so much speculations when no one has even test drove Nano. Nano is not yet launched. I guess, march end they would start delivering Nano to their customers. There are way lot of people who want to TEST this small car and give reviews. We’ll see then wheather nano is road worthy for the purpose it is designed for…
Red Star
March 5th, 2009
Saurin,you could benefit from hooked on phonics and the use of spell check.
I recommend you head back over to the DU or Huffington post, where the IQ’s range in the room temperature area, apparently more your speed.
Cheryl
March 5th, 2009
Looks like that “vehicle” is gonna get hunkered down if you pick up more than one loaf of bread, let alone a chick like me! lol
Tata!
Saurin
March 5th, 2009
Red Star, I guess you claim to be the most intelligent person around the most dumbest group of people on this blog. I should agree to this to some extent after reading posts of Cheryl who cannot think outside of whats between her legs. “Cheryl” word should be the synonym of “dumbest person on earth”. Cool down guys… I am saying this because her judgment says that this vehicle will be hunkered down with more than one loaf of bread. But doesn’t realize above pic is of nano driving 6 feet tall person weighing atleast 90kg.
Cheryl
March 5th, 2009
Uhhh, Haji,
That vehicle is going anywhere. It’s sitting on a stage. It’s a prop.
I’m sure there is nothing but baba ghanoush in the gas tank
and a photo of an engine under the hood.
You’d be better off sticking to your flying carpet.
Saurin
March 5th, 2009
I guess I am becoming too critical about your opinion on this whole “Small Car” thing. Sorry guys… I understand this is natural as the way nano has drawn attention of people all round the world, no other car has drawn such attention ever, and not even a car of “worlds most developed countries”. So its obvious human nature to feel jealous about it and try to malign all the things that can be said about this car. Dont you think India has been making news quiet often nowadays. I would suggest you guys to make habit of making some space for India amongst yourself now. India is rocking…
Booker Danno
March 5th, 2009
The driver is 6 feet tall?
More like 6 feet under when that hummus bucket is totaled running into a camel.
Listen, Saurin. You sound like a really good guy.
But you have to understand, this is a COMEDY SITE!
Get a sense of humor!
Us americans don’t get bent out of shape when people say our cars suck – THEY DO!!!
reeko
March 5th, 2009
yall should be nice to Saurin. these little rootin tootin Tata Nano are what a billion of his kinfolks there are wanting to drive: a car. ANY car. guess what that does to demand on world market oil prices?
i’m investing in a Jippy Lube in Calcutta.
so, let them have their Tatas… see how well they drive on non-paved roads where the right-of-way goes to the biggest elephant.
oh, and i wouldn’t be mean to Saurin either if i were u or the next time u call tech support – one of his cousin’s gonna make your computer talk like a sailor on shore leave and act like a Pelosi on pork.
Saurin
March 6th, 2009
Reeko. We do would like to have our Tata’s. Why not as Jaguar and Land Rover are also “TATA’s”. Hope you are keeping yourself updated with developments happening around the world. If not, then you should as you sound really stupid not knowing who are Tata’s. I wonder how difficult you are making your life by keeping this arrogance when you dont know how to manage your companies and business. Just have a look to what has happened to your “BIG” three auto companies. They are in a MESS. Above that you go ‘ga ga’ over your cars. Hold on, I guess I am expecting too much from you people. You guys need to call for “Tech support” even if your monitor power cord is not connected. THAT IS REALLY STUPID. A rural guy from India if works on computer for atleast a month, would be able to identify this problem and fix it himself. I am told this is Humor site. I see bunch of morons who are about to loose their jobs and suffer from superiority complex. Just dont forget we are also as capable as you are or rather more. Difference is that your fore fathers have really worked hard and its because of them you are what you are today. May be our fore fathers have not worked that hard but we are catching up…
Enya Phallus
March 6th, 2009
Someone press the dot on Saurin’s forehead.
Maybe it’s the power button that shuts him off.
I mean who knows? Try it.
I’m just a dumb american who doesn’t know if the power cord is
connected (??!!!)
Saurin
March 7th, 2009
Enya… Try taking the help of Tech Support for pressing my power button. They will surely prove more helpful and handy. I dont think your friends can help you in this. After all they are like you.
dr, giggles
March 9th, 2009
Uhh, Saurin, what color TaTa did you order? lol
Saurin
March 13th, 2009
giggles… I would like to hear how you ‘giggle’. I am already owner of a Tata Indica (another tata car) and also wish to own Nano. Any problems??. I am happy with my fuel efficient Tata cars with highest standards in emmission norms as its doing good for my pocket in recession times, doing good for our environment, doing good for our coming generations and doing good for my country’s economy. You bunch of dump people feel you own the world just because you blog on ‘Humor site’ called I own the world?? Its not your fault after all. Your parents forgot to teach you people smartness because they were busy working hard thinking it would make your life easy. I personally prefer to live in poor country and be smart than to be dumb in a rich country as eventually wealth’s gonna run out of you dump peoples’ hand.
Booker Danno
March 13th, 2009
It’s amazing how other countries believe that America is just completely filled with DUMB people.
That must really irritate them to think that the dumbest country is the world dominator.
It must also irritate them to know that more than half the country is smart enough to know what a danger Obama is.
If this was truly a “DUMB” country Obama would be president for life, we would have a royal family, and we’d all be driving Tatas.
Saurin
March 17th, 2009
Woooh! I wonder why I like to visit this thread so often. Danno, I like what you said. How can a country with dumb people be world dominator? I had build this perception actually by reading all comments on this thread. Not all America is blogging on this site. But dumb americans may be. America is not a country “only with” dumb people, I agree. But the writer of this thread and people commenting on this thread look dumb and that made be build that imperssion. Exception is you I think. Your comments are sensible. I must admit, I would enjoy kicking more a** of people like red star, cheryl, armani, etc. if they would post some more dumb comments which do not have respect for others.
Randi Rhoids
March 17th, 2009
Saurin….hugs and kisses. I just love this teenie weenie wittle car! Just ignore these Neanderthal knuckledraggers!
I think it’s great that somebody is trying to save Tatas and the world! I love it when two progressive ideas come together!
Tatas are very important to me! I just had mine done…a little nip here, a tuck there and I’m ready to “get it on”.
Saurin, please help save the Tatas!
You can donate here:
http://www.savethetatas.com/
I’d let you be the first to play with my new tatas in the backseat of your Nano Nano Mork calling Orson, but there doesn’t look like there is enough room to knock some socks (And oh Lord Krishna….do I need my socks knocked…it’s been since what? 1989?)
Do you listen to my radio show? Maybe you can be a guest and we’ll talk progressive stuff…like saving the planet, buying loaves of bread at Panera, driving a Nano Nano, and playing with my new tatas?
Namaste!
Oh…and I love your scene in “Star Wars”.
Saurin
March 18th, 2009
Randi, I love both of your meanings of Tata’s. I enjoy admiring them may be of any size and color. I would definately contribute for saving YOUR Tata’s if needed, as I can understand how they may be roughly used. I hope you know the meaning of your name ‘Randi’ in hindi. If not google for ‘meaning of randi in hindi’. Also dont expect me to have my hands on your Tata’s. I dont use second hand Tata’s that need ‘a little nip here, a tuck there’ to be presentable. Dont feel bad about my comments, I am just an ordinary guy from an ordinary country that is trying to show the thrid prespective of you guys which is very much undeniable. Just wait and watch as the world is changing from ordinary to extra ordinary.
Commissar Obamissar V
March 18th, 2009
Maybe this thing will be just as good as other cars costing between 2000-4000 Capitalist Exploitation Units like the Yugo! Perhaps they will start blowing up as well. I searched for crash test pictures and they pretty much throw pieces in every direction after the slightest impact. Part of the steering wheel column imbedded itself in the dummy’s leg. Perhaps this will assist with population control…
Jim Anatelli
March 18th, 2009
I got one of those “See Ya Ernies”. The dealer charged extra for airbags (airbags being a half filled balloon taped to my chest). I’m feeling a bit ripped off.
booker Danno
March 18th, 2009
Sounds to me like Saurin is reaching out across the globe and trying to make a pen pal out of a moronic American…
You can visit America any time, you have a friend in Booker.
And I’ll even take you down to Dunkin Donuts, in my ginormous automobile, to meet your relatives.
I fell in yellow snow
March 18th, 2009
Jim…
I got a See Ya Ernie as well. You should feel lucky, I got ripped of too… actually, it was my left arm that was ripped off.
I was signaling to make a left and it was sheered off by an outdoor cafe umbrella. (My “no opinion” steering navigated me onto the sidewalk.)
Ironically, I had it sewed back on by an Indian doctor. He asked me if I wanted to but his second hand Tata.
I was a little woosy from anesthesia, so I said yes.
Next day I find out I’m married to some pudgy dothead with hair on her ass. I lost 2000 bucks selling her back.
Randi Rhoids
March 19th, 2009
Saurin!
You brute!
Your quote “I would definately contribute for saving YOUR Tata’s if needed, as I can understand how they may be roughly used” is very offensive!
I am not into “The Rough Trade”. I like mine gently stroked with a counter clockwise finger swirl. I don’t know how you men do things in India, but I don’t like my tatas slapped around. If you like that kind of stuff, check the personal ads for any San Francisco newspaper. I’m sure you’ll find what you’re looking for in tata rough trade.
As for Randi in Hindi, yes, I know…but for you, I’ll give a special discount but you must promise no tata abuse and listen to my radio show.
Saurin
March 20th, 2009
Hey Randi,
You are taking me in a wrong way. When I meant ‘roughly’, i actually meant many many people using it and not what you think of slapping around. I would never do that as I admire them and would respectfully play with nature’s best things. Anyways, dont feel bad about the ‘hindi meaning’ as I just wanted to show that everybody’s name may have bad/ugly meanings in different languages as you compared mine with star wars. So dont mind about that.
I guess you want more people to listen to your radio show… As I am from India, I dont think my FM(radio) receiver can receive your radio station of america. Now dont tell me that you didn’t knew this, Please…. If you do, you make my belief more strong that most americans are really dumb people. Again…
Jim Anatelli
March 20th, 2009
Hey Yellow Snow! When you bought yours did the dealer charge you for the “undercarriage treatment”? Mine did. Little did I know that the whole deal was an “undercarriage treatment”.
Randi Rhoids
March 20th, 2009
Saurin….
Please hurry! You don’t need FM, you can listen via the world wide web!
http://www.therandirhodesshow.com/
If somebody doesn’t listen, an evil American corporation will pull the plug on my radio show!
It’s not fair! Rush Limbaugh has millions and I have none.
Nova, Inc. said if I had one listener, they’ll think about it.
Time is of the essence!
Save my show and tatas Saurin!
All I need is one listener!
Sarah
April 3rd, 2009
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don’t know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Sarah
http://www.craigslistposter.info
Anonymous
November 4th, 2009
Saurin…Where have you gone? I wish to mock someone and you seem perfect!
Saurin
December 29th, 2009
Hi All!
How you all guys are doing!!!