American Thinker: The ever well meaning Starbucks chairman, Howie Schultz, more terrified of bad publicity and claims of racism than anything in the world, has just announced a rather customer-unfriendly policy of opening Starbucks bathrooms (as well as table space) to all comers, including people who won’t spring for a $4 cup of coffee. Speaking to the Atlantic Council, according to the Washington Post, Schultz said:
“We don’t want to become a public bathroom, but we’re going to make the right decision a hundred percent of the time and give people the key,” Schultz said, “because we don’t want anyone at Starbucks to feel as if we are not giving access to you to the bathroom because you are less than.”
Well, yes, you do, Howie. If you open the bathrooms to all comers, including non-paying customers, you’re turning Starbucks into a public bathroom. How stupid do you think we are?
For those of us who do buy Starbucks coffee, we know what this policy change means: an open invitation to the homeless to bring in hepatitis, trash, used syringes, solicitations for spare change, and all the other detritus of their uncured condition to Starbucks bathrooms. The fact that Starbucks will be the only business with such a policy means that all of the homeless will concentrate in these outlets. read more
Bankruptcy. Couldn’t happen to a more deserving chain. The mackerel in the moonlight. Oh, wait… a mermaid.
How to turn a once profitable business into a Greyhound bus terminal. Sleep well, Howie.
Can we ‘Bring our Own’ too.
SOLD.
starbucks = over-priced coffee and free filth
Can you say, “Shareholder lawsuit,” Howie?
Can you say, “Maximize return on investment,” Howie?
Can you say, “Please stop corn-holing me,” Howie?
I wonder how long before the blood flows. The homeless can be a bit territorial.
This is a real opportunity to snap up some stock while it is still cheap.
If only I had some money.
What is the liberal’s obsession with bathrooms? Everything was humming along fine for a few thousand years and suddenly there’s all kinds of problems with who can use and when someone can use. Personally, I’ve solved all the problems and use a bathroom when I’ve got to go and no one else is in there stinking it up. Pretty simple rules, but now even I’m questioning them because once decent bathrooms are going to look like the schtreets of Than Franthisco after liberals rewrite the rules for them.
The perfect business model for any prog company. Free coffee for any minority or anyone claiming membership to any protected class and double the price for white liberals. Call it a fairness tax, they will love it and their white liberal guilt will be assuaged.
When your business model has always been dependent on the stupidity of people,
you sleep with one eye open, looking over your shoulder.
Now libs can prove just how equal minded they believe themselves to be when they sit down next to a smelly bum with fleas.
This should be really good for business.
I love it when leftism goes stupid. I mean really, really, really stupid- not normal leftism stupid.
Next time I am at the airport waiting for a delayed flight I think I will experiment with this policy and hog a table for an hour or so.
Well, in Seattle, with its dozens and dozens of Starbucks, the homeless can sack out inside and get some much needed rest. Homeless problem solved! No need for a head tax!
Bringing an IOTW Cooler full of home brew
Snagging the Comfiest Couch
Playing this on an Infinite Loop all day long.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1vTwZYAM6g
Especially @2m31s, @3m42 and @4m15s
Their coffee is awful and the staff is execrable; why do they think the odor of stale urine, people shooting up in the restroom, fleas and bedbugs are going to improve the experience? The liberal ‘mind…’
I’m trying to imagine what the employees think of the new policy. They’re not all Liberal snowflakes and some of them must be ready to walk.
Free WiFi and Head Lice!
I had this awful experience once by sitting on a public bench. Never again!
Prediction: Bathroom Wars coming to other fast food public establishments, i.e. Macdonalds, Chipotle, etc. The left now sees this bathroom issue as an inalienable right to relive oneself…no walls (or borders) anywhere, including restrooms.
Another liberal bastion commits business suicide. I can’t help it, it’s fun to watch the self destruction these idiots commit.
I have always wondered why someone would pay 5 or 6 bucks for a coffee. I assume that they’re making too much money but the stupidity of the general populace never ceases to astound me.
When they go belly up it will not bother me a bit, well maybe I’ll get a laugh from it.
It’ll be fun to watch people dodging cop cars, and ambulances, fire trucks, and coroner vans trying to get to the front door for their morning coffee. Obviously no one in Starbucks management has spent any time around the homeless or the places they frequent. That’s Entertainment! The hepatitis quarantines will be fun too.
Note: The people who impose this insanity wouldn’t be caught dead in a Starbucks.
There will be turnover.
Another solution would be to charge five dollars for the bathroom and give the coffee away for free, that’s what it’s worth.
No bums are going to pay five bucks for a bathroom.
Truck stop coffee is a lot cheaper and there are generally not a whole lot of homeless people hanging around them messing the place up. People get in, get out and get their business done even if they charge rip off prices on most of the convenience stuff they sell. But the coffee is good and it’s cheap and you don’t have to worry about riffraff for the most part. Traditional convenience stores AKA Stop and robs like 7-11, Zip Rip etc. located close to freeway on ramps are usually worse especially if they accept EBT.
How bout free blowjobs for the hobos?
Baristas could share their tips, too.
Wait! I know! Require the Baristas to take the hobos home with them, and then they won’t be “homeless” any more!
Give me a eighteen million a year, like the head hog of Starbucks, and I’ll keep on coming up with brilliant ideas!
(actually, I’d do it for half that)
izlamo delenda est …
Maybe somebody will save Yeti, Dick’s and Starbucks employees a spot in the unemployment line.
Being as there is such a demand for “Studies” majors.
Can you being a class action law suit for liberal, self inflected foolishness?
Are Starbucks stores open 24/7/365? If they weren’t before, they will be now, since they can’t kick anyone out. Ever.
I used to say if I wanted the Starbux experience at home, I’d pour my self a cup of good coffee, call my name out incorrectly, light a five dollar bill on fire, then scrape the ashes into the coffee.
But I’ll be damned if I’m gonna invite a bunch of worthless, stinking deadbeats into my kitchen!!
I just experienced the new Starbucks this morning when a filthy, crazy homeless person sat down at a table next to me and lit up a cigarette and began rambling. Good call Starbucks on the new policy!
To prove he’s serious, Howie should let homeless people stay in HIS house and mess up HIS bathroom(s). I reckon he could accommodate a dozen or two, and their junk-filled shopping carts.
Do it, Howie. For Duty and Humanity.
“Would you like HEP-C or e-Coli with that coffee?”
” We will make the right decision 100% of the time and give the key”.
No you wont. Why have a key in the first place then? The door locks from the inside, no need for any key. Racist, bigot, evil, liar.
The key only serves to maintain the inverse power structure, social construct of corporate lordism, and systemic disenfranchisement of colorectal challenged others.
There can be no policy that requires one to beg for the key from a clerk in front of the entire line of customers. It is demeaning and inhumane and causes stigmatization as customers stare, assume, envision, and wonder about the homeless persons imminent bowel movement. Not fair, and even further traumatizing the victims in this injustice.
The toilets at gas stations will be cleaner than Starbucks in six months.
Better have baby-wipes in there for the Hooker Showers, too.
I have never cared for a tattoo’d or many piercing person preparing my coffee or any edible.How many of them carry hepatitis? It was bad enough to eat at a Taco Bell, only to discover I had to go get a gamma globulin shot because a worker had hepatitis.
It is cold and miserable in Freattle in the winter, bums will now have a nice place to stay warm. Most of them have a couch and easy chairs too. Some have gas fireplaces, Howie can’t deny them that either now that he is acting as doorman for the most damnable of the damnable malicious, maladjusted malcontents Freattle has to offer
Yeah, that’s just whut I wanna do is relax in a couch that some filthy bum squatted in! Starbux is in Dire Straits –
Money for nuthin and ticks are free…
The new business model will be great for everybody, except paying customers who like clean establishments. The stock in 12 months will be less expensive than postage stamps.
Well, f**k.
My parents are both die hard Republicans and free thinkers, love Trump and everything. But they also love Starbucks. Always have. They have a lot of good memories there and both like to hang out there, enjoy the coffee by a window and just talk.
…some of their kids (including me) inherited this however… I’m thinking of just using the drive thru location from now on.
Amusing, simply amusing! But then I have a sick sense of humor.
Why has no one commented on this being a huge “short play” on the stock for sure…???