My Favorite Mega Millions Jackpot Headline – “What to do in case you win” – IOTW Report

My Favorite Mega Millions Jackpot Headline – “What to do in case you win”

Tuesday, 23 October 2018, 18:17 BFH Uncategorized 42

99% of the stories you read are about how, statistically, your ticket is worthless, that’s how long the odds are of winning. Yet, invariably the headline is about “what to do in case you win.”

Statistically, the story being written is worthless. They are writing the story for one person. What are the odds they read it? Probably statistically zero.

Okay, enough wet blanketry.

What would you do if you took the pay out and after taxes wound up with 300 or 400 million?

Me? I’d be blogging from a better couch… and I’d have real diet Dr.Pepper, instead of  Dr. Thunder.

 

42 Comments on My Favorite Mega Millions Jackpot Headline – “What to do in case you win”

  2. Honey, pack your bags! I won the lottery!!!

    Wow, that’s great! Where are we going?

    I don’t care where you go. Didn’t you hear me? I won the lottery!!!

    30

  6. Buy enough land in my favorite area and have it declared a free republic and separate nation. Any people allowed to live there would be heavily screened to keep out the leftists.
    Residents would only be required to attend beer and pizza on friday evenings.

    15

  8. Tell no one.
    Get a real lawyer, Not Micheal Avenatti.
    Hire George Soros’s security detail away from him.
    Arrange a hit on the Clinton’s, Obama’s, Bushes, and anyone that has held a political office since 9/11.
    After which you may be broke, but damn it, will make America great again!

    4

  11. My wife used to tell people that her worst nightmare would be that I would come home and tell her that I had won the Powerball lottery. She said that she would have to travel eight hours just to get to the first paved road on her way to visit her sister in Seattle….

    Yea, it would be kinda’ like that.

    16

  16. What happens if I win the $1.6 billion Mega Millions jackpot:

    1. Shit my pants.

    2. Clean up the mess. Get clean cloths on.

    3. Sign ticket and lock in my safe.

    4. Secure a great banking and trust lawyer.

    5. Tell the wife.

    6. Resuscitate the wife.

    7. Tell the wife to calm down for fuck’s sake.

    8. Get ice pack for wife because she ran into a coffee table acting the fool.

    9. Remind wife to keep her big mouth shut until we can arrange for our security.

    10. Set up accounts and trusts.

    11. Get our names changed.

    12. Find nice, secure places to live in a red states, one Winter home and one Summer home.

    13. Buy the toys I always wanted.

    14. Wait, I never bothered to give my notice at work. Heh… sorry.

    15

  18. I’m gonna visit those foreclosing son-of-a-guns at the Indianola Savings & Loan, slap that money on the barrelhead and buy back the family farm. You ain’t no kind of man if you ain’t got land.

    15

  19. I would finance IOTW with a Trust so money will never be a worry, buy a new car, nice houses for my children and a new building for my church. I have everything I want or need so it would be a blessing to help others.

    9

  21. @ Gin Blossom – Mrs. Glover thinks very much the same way you do!

    Buy an old GHOST town for like minded internet IOTW ghosts like us.

    Then build a STONE WALL around Ghost Town with a DEEP MOAT (with underground movement detection devices) and towers with turrets fully armed for ground or air attack.

    We could have a GREEN running and bike path on the top of the wall if ya want.

    Ghost Town access via secured very long tunnel with a two way light rail to a secured small terminus and car garage with full security. Terminus to have receiving facility for necessary goods.

    Install a Geo-thermal well system for Ghost Town.

    Install a rain collection system and water treatment plant.

    Build a music amphitheatre, art museum, observatory, foundry.

    Build a hospital and K-12 school.

    Build emergency heli-pad for the hospital in case of real emergency.

    Use moat as possible source to fight a possible fire. All will be trained to fight a fire.

    No need for a jail because any assholes not vetted properly will get thrown into the moat…with a ball and chain.

    Build a The Gin Blossom Brewery and Pizza Hall – water to be imported from NY reservoir system.

    Have enough land to ‘add on’ if needed.

    Make the Ghost town a place to live, skilled artists and mechanics, to keep things going and looking nice…and former vets keep secure!

    I’m in a Mega pool at work.

    “Ya gotta be in it to win it.” – old NY Lotto saying.

    MAGA2016
    KAG2020

    7

  25. I’ve always wondered; why the hell have ONE big winner for a multitude of millions of dollars which severely reduces your odds.
    Why not have numerous million dollar winners, (which they do not want to do),…..which is why I never participate.

    3

  26. With my luck I’d end up like the old Irish guy in Waking Ned Devine and die from being overly excited and my kids and other relatives would inherit it. And besides I suck at lotteries, the only one I ever won was in the 1972 draft lottery where my draft number was low enough to enlist in the Navy before they would’ve drafted me. And then Nixon ended the draft while I was in boot camp just before the 72 elections. I am still glad I enlisted rather than have risked being drafted. I’d start a charitable foundation with all that money.

    5

  29. I’d probably shit my pants. But I’d heir Chuck Schumer to clean it up and Kristen Gillibrand to do my chores. I hear she’s better than Monica Lewenski on knee pads.
    I’d also give Marc Molinaro a big donation. I’d love to see Cuomo tossed out on his ass.
    Yeah, I’m a dreamer.
    I spent 6 bucks on Mega in New York and New Jersey

    3

  32. I would make an appointment with a seriously skilled finance guru and see how much I would need to live off of while it’s earning me more, and create a fund for the kid – college fund and one for when I’m gone.

    But before I go to it I would take me and my son out to eat and not even look at the prices. He wants to go buy from Charlie’s (combo bakery and Chinese), Bear Tooth (pizza), Buffalo Wild Wings, then take it all home and have a feast. Go clothes shopping, also a car for him (I have one), then plan and go on a vacation. Then come home to a new house, complete with chickens and goats, and where I would write all the books and poetry I want to write.

    There’s more, like paying my siblings’ houses off, stuff like that, but I need to go to that appointment.

    All this thinking makes me crave Chik-Fil-A, which, like a lottery system, we do not have. Bah!

    2

  34. I would start a university offering degrees in moral philosophy, Austrian economics, history of Western civilization, and applied mathematics focusing on quantum computing and encryption. Then I’d have to spend a lot on searching for the right professors and researchers.

    …after setting up an endowment for iOTWr.

    5

  35. @ gin blossom….would it be wood fired pizza?….and a good dark stout?…cuz I ain’t coming to just any land mass for free pizza and beer….well, maybe I would but I’ll be a bit aloof till’ the second slice….

    5

  37. I’d hold a press conference telling the world “now that I have enough money to be a Democrat and I got it the same way as the majority got theirs, I’m still a Limbaugh conservative who now has the means to make some noise”

    3

  39. “Obama, you fag, I’ll give $5,000,000 to the chairty of your choice when you provide your college transcripts within the next 12 hours. Let’s see how much you care about others.”

    4

  40. I’d ask,”What do you mean ‘our’ money?”
    Just kiddin. I’d try to remember I didn’t earn it, and if not careful I could just as easily lose it just as quickly as I gained it.

    Whatever happened to that duffus that won the lotto a few years ago that showed up at the news presser with both his wife and his mistress? They were on the our money train. Nothing pleasant is my guess.

    1

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