The Worst Songs – IOTW Report

The Worst Songs

Thursday, 15 November 2018, 21:42 BFH Uncategorized 111

We were chatting in the email ring today (the one that spawned this site, as a matter of fact) and one non sequitur led to the next until finally Irony got around to posting a song by Bobby Goldsboro.

Goldsboro’s song “Honey” usually makes every list where people are cataloging the absolute “worst of.”

But Irony asked, “why stop with Honey? You can dive deeper into the Goldsboro discography and unearth some more.”

He remembers watching Carson with his dad when Goldsboro performed this—->

Me, personally, I don’t hate this song. But it was pointed out by someone in the email ring that it’s a pretty childish song for an adult theme. Almost like the guy might be singing about an 11 year-old.

Now the song is ruined.

lol.

What does the gang think?

By the way, there’s another version of this song by Gene Cotton. It’s arguably better.

Post links to what you consider the worst songs.

(Where is Goldsboro now?——>

111 Comments on The Worst Songs

  5. Yup, I was watching Carson with my father – it had to be late 1970s – and Goldsboro was on. He performed this song. When he was done, my dad -who is absolutely TONE DEAF – said, “Wow, was that the worst song ever, or what?!”
    Little did we know that “We Built This City” and “Mr. Roboto” would come along one day!

    And, don’t get me wrong. I can appreciate a good sentimental song. Jim Croce’s “Operator” is great example of how it’s done right.

    9

  10. 1. The song isn’t good for an adult to be singing. It’s like 9 or 12 year old style, tops.

    2. I seriously thought he was going to sing that he burned down the zoo.

    3. His teeth look like a Klan riot.

    10

  11. All I ever hear is “We built this….” CLICK! (radio gets switched off.)

    @MJA HAHAHA! Burning down the zoo at the end would have totally justified the whole thing. Hilarious!

    9

  16. This is so funny because recently you guys were ragging on Buffet with his “story” songs. Honestly, I could never stand “Honey”. Just a dumb dumb song IMO.

    But I heard another song yesterday on the car radio that I think I like even less than “Honey.”

    It’s too bad because the opening bars of the song would be fantastic if they left out every other instrument, most especially the harmonica.

    However, the line “tonic and gin” grates on my last nerve. NO ONE says, “tonic and gin.” Why didn’t Joel just rearrange his rhyming? And it’s really not the worst part of the shambles of a song.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_g7fPjVxvg

    …

    3

  21. I think Bad Brad makes a good point with Walk Like an Egyptian.
    I never contemplated the lyrics before, but they are ridiculous.

    The song became a success even without anyone in the history of mankind “walking like an Egyptian” except for the very awkward and embarrassed looking people in the video.
    I think they thought this would “be a thing.”
    It never was, but the song became a hit.

    It would be like the Twist being a hit but nobody ever dancing the Twist.

    6

  35. Fur, let’s change it up and do a “favorites” thing.

    (And did you notice I had the good taste not to bring up your birthday? heehee. (whisper) Happy Birthday, Dear Fur Hat!! And many happy returns of the day!)

    5

  38. @AbigalAdams
    Hold those calls we have a winner. Forgot about Timothy. Rupert Holmes wrote some pretty awful songs like “Escape” and “Him” but “Timothy” takes the cake.
    At least, I THINK that was cake. Tasted a bit like chicken. Hmmmm.

    7

  45. don’ care much about ‘Walk Like An Egyptian’ (other than it was another tasteless million-seller) … but I was glued to the TV screen every time Suzanna Hoffs rolled her eyes from side to side! …. Rrrrrrrroooooooolllll

    4

  58. Jim Croce is amazing, this is not.
    …it sounds like it ought to be a
    the theme song in a kids movie about the zoo and it’s zoo keeper who is apparently a terribly lonely man.

    4

  65. AA,

    “In and around the lake,
    Mountains come out of the sky and stand there”

    I saw that happen at Jenny Lake in the Tetons. I was camping and when I rose in the morning, the clouds were hanging just inches from the surface of the lake. I could see nothing of the mountains through the clouds, but as my eyes gazed upward, a break in the clouds revealed the peaks. Took my breath away. Then I remembered that line from the song and almost cried. Magical.

    7

  67. BB — Geoff C. tells me that Linkin is a great band, but you guys go in for that head-bangin’ stuff. It would give me a migraine. Too disjointed for me. My very favorite musical era is Big Band and Swing. Give me “‘A’ Train” and Glen Miller or give me death! My bestest friend’s (in high school)dad was a big band/swing leader/musician and she and I would go with him on Saturday nights to his gigs. Sometimes she and I would take the stage to sing with them. Loved it!!

    1

  72. AA
    I’m a dinosaur. But the young chickadees think it;s cool helping Grandpa figure out how to listen to shit off his I phone. At 62 still the big fish in the little pond. Odds of that lasting long are not good.

    5

  84. BB — I may just be the very worst person when it comes to knowing contemporary musicians. My presets are ALL conservative talk radio and radio evangelists. I only listen to music in the car when Medved is the only show on. As I say, I’m a big band/swing girl.

    Glenn Miller & His Orchestra, Moonlight Serenade. Ahhhhhh. Heavenly. If you don’t want to dance, you should check your pulse because you’re probably dead.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TB_8H23EDI

    And if you think Glenny was a snooze, listen to this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2S1I_ien6A

    Some range, huh? That cat’s jammin’. Genius.

    1

  97. AA

    Love me some Hammer. Quite a story. He’s now a man of the clothe in Oakland. There’s not many people that didn’t steal from him. I’m thinking he’s the one who came out on top. Michelle still plays his stuff non stop in the Michelle mobile. Happier times I think.

    3

  98. Worst parody of a worst song

    Horny as hell, too much to drink
    And Brett said he would sell his soul
    For just .. a peek .. at pink
    Harlot enough to please these two
    And Brett said to Mike “I’ll cop a feel
    And then there’s some for you

    Kavanaugh, Kavanaugh .. Where on Earth was that home
    Kavanaugh, Kavanaugh .. God, why dont I know?

    4

  102. Any artist doing any version of “The Little Drummer Boy”…including the ones where they call the baby “Hey-Zeus”. And ALL modern or traditional Christmas songs performed by pop singers.
    It’s that half of the year again…pray for me.

    2

  104. Toby Miles, I’d never heard Blue Wave before, thanks for the good song. My 5 worst songs ever: Watching Snotty Grow by Bobby Goldsborough, In The Year 2525, One Tin Soldier by Coven, My Dingaling by Chuck Berry and Imagine by John Lennon. There are many others but those are the worst. Some of the best are It’s A Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong and Stand By Me by Ben E. King. And I Fall To Pieces by Patsy Cline and her cover of Willie Nelson’s song Crazy.

    1

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