America is completely confused these days: A new survey found that over 27 percent of people asked would re-brand Santa Claus as a woman or gender-neutral. The poll, from a graphic design company, reported that 10% of the people surveyed wanted Santa Claus to be a woman, and over 17% wanting HIM to be gender neutral. Or…wanting him to ditch the fancy red suit for skinny jeans and an iPhone. Oh, and tattoos. And Amazon Prime instead of reindeer.
Why can’t Santa be a fat, old white guy? Why must he fit into the left’s worldview, where all important icons are reimagined as they’d like to see them?
It’s that totalitarian in their DNA that compels them to be absolute jerks.
HT/ Forcibly Deranged
Why isn’t Hipster Claus on a skateboard to be more like the Kennedy-esque Beto? Asking for Biden. What we need to outrage the left is a NPC Claus.
As long as we’re setting up a wish list, I want Santa Claus to wear a MAGA cap, have a slung AR, plus a 1911 on his hip.
Oh, yeah, and a very, very long “naughty” list. Those on it would get a booby-trapped lump of C4 in their stocking.
Yeah, and I can’t wait until they get to the “Tooth FAIRY”
I hate the word hipster. Because, they like soccer, grow beards (unhygienic), stay in cheap hotels, get tatted up, and eat weird foods, and most probably use drugs. I suspect most of them hate America. They’re pansies who think they know what’s best for the rest of us.
A tiny lesson about SAINTS (if anyone’s interested). Saint Nicholas was a MAN, born around the 3rd century somewhere in the area of modern day Greece or Turkey. Someone pls tell Leftists, there were no trans ppl in the Ancient World; they all waited until the 21st century to be born.
As I recall the actual Santa Claus, St. Nicolas, was in fact a man.
If you want a woman create a new character or something.
This thread is crying for a RAP battle.
https://youtu.be/CdrvxKxiQrQ
If Santa was Mexican he could be Sanchez Claus. And if it was a Santa with an inferiority complex he could be a Subordinate Claus.
And what about the three wise men? I suppose they want them to look like LGBT metro sexuals drinking Starbucks while driving Priuses in San Francisco.
Right in there with the 20-30%
hardcore Commiecrat numbers.
I imagine Santa Claus to be just like the department store Santa of my childhood. A man whose hopes and aspirations had been destroyed several years ago, leaving him so desperate that he was working this temporary job so he could make one more alimony payment. A man who smelled strongly of cheap whiskey, too many cigarettes and too much after shave. A man with an unfocused gaze hazily looking at the camera for the 1,000th time that day. A man trying to act somewhat interested in what the child on his lap wanted for Christmas, while wondering how and why he had sunk so low. Ah, good memories of my department store Santa.
I asked for a GI Joe action figure, but Santa gave me a pack of Marlboros and a Jim Beam miniature bottle. But I got a gift none-the-less, so the spirit of Christmas lived on.
Cultural appropriation!
I know for a fact that Santa is a conservative. For my 12th Christmas he brought me a CMP M-1 carbine.
http://christiannewswire.com/news/8467975271.html
Armed Santa Claus on John Snyder Christmas Card Protects Baby Jesus from Knife-Wielding Islamist Terrorist
Santa aims a semiautomatic handgun at the terrorist near Baby Jesus in His crib. The contemporary drawing shows Santa Claus using the gun to save the Infant from the throat-cutter.
We have a news story here about a guy who was apprehended while stealing delivered packages from front doors. The news readers called him a “porch pirate”, and I about ran off the road. I thought they said “porch primate”. Brace yourselves for the onslaught of the offended, WSB radio in Atlanta.
The fat, jolly, bearded Santa in a red and white suit image was created during the “Roaring 20s” (Thanks Coca Cola). A time when economic prosperity was in overdrive and not a hated concept, perpetrated by the Left.
The image represented the corporate world’s confidence in the U.S. market as well as illustrating a thriving American culture and a source of inspiration.
https://www.businessinsider.com/santa-fat-red-bearded-2011-12 .
Leave it to the Left’s deviant socialist tendencies to attempt to corrupt something of good will.
@Wyatt, Insensitive Progressive Jerk December 17, 2018 at 3:38 pm
Jean Shepherd got something in his eye.
@Zonga: that is actually pretty close to the real life St. Nicholas. See Ann Barnhart ‘s website for more info.
https://www.barnhardt.biz/2014/12/06/starting-friday-off-right-3/
Fantastic! Thanks for the link Tony R!
Yeah, I found out that St. Nicholas was a brawler, years ago. Told my son about the real “Santa” when he was a kid and he loved it.
Seems St. Nicholas was always on the side of those who needed help or righting a wrong. He was tough and faithful to God.
UNCLE AL
1911 was a great side arm! Every time i was in the rear healing from a wound I practiced with mine (U taxpayers supplied me with as many rounds as i wanted) I got to where I could hit a beer can (empty!)at 10 yards 9 times in 10. 7 complete wast of time! I never shot anyone over 5 yards away; hit everyone I shot. Those not dead I killed with a blade. Because Im a xenophobic – – – I have yet to loose a seconds sleep!
C4 is grate for cookin in the hills! I have a close friend who illegally brought back about 25 oz of the clay like stuff, He used it to cook what he killed outdoors. Even in heavy rain it cooks; so he told me. I , of course, know not! I would never offend GWB by killing a poor defenseless animal! Well, maybe a few times.
Santa is obsolete anyway. We have the government to give us free stuff.