If you like creatures of the canine persuasion with pointed ears, such as German Shepherds, Belgian Malinois, or — gasp — corgis, get ready to say goodbye to them at an airport near you. (Okay, they don’t actually use corgis as security dogs).
The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) will soon be moving to a “floppy ear” force, because dogs with pointed ears “scare children,” according to a reportfrom the Washington Examiner.
“We’ve made a conscious effort in TSA … to use floppy ear dogs,” TSA Administrator David Pekoske told reporters during a recent tour of operations at Washington Dulles International Airport.
WELL DUHHHH!!!
Drug dogs are too effective and do not allow male employees to perform “necessary” strip searches in private. Besides this inspection violates the constitutional right to privacy as do income taxes.
My children are absolutely terrified of TSA agents and TSA checkpoints in general. I demand you ban them immediately. If you don’t, you’re clearly discriminating against me. Which is bad because I identify as a universally-gendered omni-racial being.
Run it’s a chihuahua!
And black guns are shootier, too!
I once greeted a German Shepherd in an airport and he gave me a look that said, “Hey, man, I’m on a mission here! I know I’d like you but I can’t show it!” (See, dogs love Irishmen named ‘Jimmy.’)
Refusing to hire? Based on the shape of their ears?
RAAAACIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!
Bullshit. It’s because they scare muslims. Don’t hide behind the kids, TSA.
I’m with @harqbll. The problem isn’t the pointy earred dogs. It’s the pointy earred TSA agents. A band of Barney Fifes.
Last flight? OK. My real first name is James, but somehow I fat fingered my online ticket and it came out as Jamers. This caused a TSA alert because the name on my ticket didn’t match my drivers license. The incident held up the line until a TSA supervisor could be summoned.
Now, I just have to ask, how many ways are there to spell Muhammad, Mohamed, muhamed? TSA wouldn’t bother with that. C’mon through Mo, and peace be with you. In shallah.
As for this white guy who accidentally left his suicide belt at home, it became an INCIDENT. Asked for additional identification I decided to provide my concealed carry permit.
TSA relinquished and I strolled past the scary pointy earreddogs to my gate.
I’m still wondering my online credit card transaction went through with my mistyped name. That’s a different discussion.
CAn’t use pointy eared dogs because they scare children. TSA agents copping feels from 4 year old girls will continue unabated, though.
@PHenry:
And I’m with both of you. TSA definitely needs some floppy-eared gate thugs.
I have flown exactly thrice since the advent of tsa. Each time I was subjected to even greater scrutiny due to my titanium knee. I knew the Patriot act was a terrible idea from the beginning. If the airlines want to search travelers, fine! The fed, not so much. If I need to travel far, I plan it well in advance and drive. If I cannot get there driving, fook it! I do not need to go.
“Speaking the truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act.” Geo. Orwell
I came into contact with a tsa agent that was so dumb, I actually checked her badge to see if her last name was Biden. Long story. Remind me to tell you another time.
Once while walking our German shepherd a little girl asked me “What is that?” I told her it was a wolf. Her parents weren’t amused.
What does the TSA do?? If you answer security, you need a mental health check. Any dedicated bad guy can get through their security points with little difficulty with his or her weapon or bomb of choice, modified. We have a problem with Islam, not Jews, not Methodist ,not Catholics, only Muslims. So why do we have a major inconvenience for everyone?? Why do we coddle Muslims whose stated purpose is our death, even moderates. A moderate Muslim is a radical waiting in line for his turn.
TSA security is more like kabuki theater.
TSA provides the appearance of security, but offers none. They fail to find dummy test bombs and firearms over 90% of the time. Meanwhile they annoy and molest everyone except muslims. If we put all of our focus on muslims (or forbid them to fly) we would solve the entire hijacking problem. Spare me your anguish about First Amendment. A death cult that demands my murder is NOT a legitimate religion. It is a pox upon the world.
Security should be the responsibility of the respective airlines so customers can choose the level of screening annoyance versus security concerns. Before you whine about hijackings, remember that the cockpit door is now armored so the only realistic threat is a bomb. Again, protestants are not the ones beheading children and blowing up planes.
Yep. Moderate Muslim. An oxymoron if there ever was one. A moderate Muslim hones his/her blade so as to behead you in one swift and clean blow. A radical Muslim wields a dull blade. Hack, hack, hack.
I have a lot of metal in my legs. I can’t go through the machines. I just say to them very cheerfully and loudly that they will have to feel me up. Seems to definitely limit the feeling up.
why don’t they make some cute little hats for the dogs?
Those pussy hats seem to work for the rabid packs of bitches that roam our cities. The kids don’t mind them, or at least they’re not allowed to.
Those breeds of dogs are selected for their abilities and trainability.
If they must be replaced, I’d suggest Airedales with attitudes.
My latest TSA encounter:
About 3-4 months ago, a flight from Austin Airport to Tampa, Florida. I’m active duty military, but wasn’t flying in uniform or under orders. I was, however, still using my military ID card for identification.
I always dress light when flying, just to make security easier. This particular day, it was t-shirt, gym shorts with no britches underneath (less fabric should mean less chance of a false alarm on the detection scanner, right?), and socks with running shoes.
Anyway, I go through the scanner, and it red flags me. Something lit up the scanner in the area of my crotch.
I should point out that nothing is pierced down there. So there’s nothing at all that should be showing on the scanner except the equipment placed there by God.
But now, I have to go through a pat down. And who should it be doing this, but a guy with “Mohammed” on his name tag. Because obviously, the nearly naked Active Duty Army Officer needs to be manually checked by the actual turban-wearing muslim.
So, I ham it up. I instantly became the most vocal and flamingly gay dude the world has ever seen. I moan, groaned, and wiggled the area time. And asked him for his phone number afterward. I have to say, my favorite part was when he started talking to his fellow muslim TSA agent in Arabic. I assumed it was about me, and have to say thought it was pretty fucking funny that I was about to get security called on me in Arabic by members of an organization that the American people were all told was being created to protect us from islam.
But, nothing came of it. Then I went to put my shoes back on and pick up my carry-on bag. My carry-on bag which contained, among other things, the two pocket knives I’ve carried on every flight since about 2007 or so. They never find them. I’ve got a small swiss army knife which lives in my travel humidor, and a serrated lev-r-lok which normally rides on my belt – I only stow it in my backpack when flying.
I have carried both these knives on God-only-knows how many flights. Has to be close to if not over 100 by now. TSA never finds them.
Keep feeling safe, America.
A TSA agent in a burkha scares me more…
I’ve flown twice immediately after 911 for business. I won’t fly again. You can’t secure the safety of a plane without profiling it’s passengers. If the the term “Profiling” bothers you, use “Statistical Probability”. If we can’t drive there, I’m not going.