…bag weight is no joke on an airplane, planes have been lost with their entire crew and passenger compliment because of luggage weight and placement issues.
You’re not scamming an airline, you’re putting yourself and everyone else on the plane, and some people on the ground, in danger.
You want to crash a plane? Because that’s how you crash a plane!
8
I once read a story about a guy who traveled by air often for his job, and a lot of times it was aboard small commuter planes. As one flight was loading, the woman sitting next to him confessed that she didn’t know it was for fuel calculations when the flight crew asked her for her wight and she lied by saying she was 5 lbs lighter than she actually was. The guy told her not to worry, he had been flying these puddle jumpers for years, and learned to add 10 lbs to his own weight for every female passenger he saw boarding the flight.
40
…not airplane related but female weight related @Peter the Bubblehead, when I was doing car alignments, if I had a car with a complaint about a pull to the right that I couldn’t feel on the test drive, I would try to see the guy in the waiting room with his wife.
This is because, more than once, I’d see that she was a big girl, to the point that her weight affected the alignment geometry, and sometimes even weakened the passenger side spring in an older car, affecting ride height.
Having established this, I would then either have a 300 pound tire buster sit on the passenger side while I aligned, or made a degree of camber and/or caster change (you could still change caster on some cars in SNS’s day) depending on tire wear patterns, and it worked every time.
…the service writers would some times alert me by putting an “FWA” on the notes. This stood for “Fat Wife Alignment”, although I have no idea what they told the CUSTOMER if asked…
19
If a few pounds can crash a plane, why don’t they weigh the morbidly obese, corpulent, endomorphs that stuff their fat asses in the fuselage?
PS, I like the alignment story SNS. 🙂
21
@Superns,
“FWA? That just means four wheel alignment, ma’am.”
14
@SNS
I have seen (4) 400+ TripleBs (black beach balls) climb out of an old Corolla, modern engineering is amazing.
That would be one rough ride down a dirt road.
9
It’s amusing to watch people at an international airport open their suitcases and start rearranging things. They’re so dumb, that nothing is taken out of their suitcase, they place it back on the scale and it’s still overweight! WTH! Watched a woman pull a gallon size jug of juice out of her bag and tossed it in the garbage. Her luggage met the weight allowance. Ever watch these border patrol youtube’s? I’m hooked on them. People acting stupid and they get caught. They’ve seen it all.
…next time your on a plane, @LocoBlancoSaltine, look for some little trianges. They show where the wings are. This is so, if a flight attendant needs to, ah, “redistribute some weight” for any reason, they may relocate the big kids between these markings to balance the aircraft better. So they DO take it into consideration, they just have to be diplomatic about it…
…good answer, @Meerkat Brzezinski, good answer indeed…
4
Liberal, I’ll wager.
3
Of course the kicker is that if I have too much weight in the checked bag I will take out a couple of heavy items and put them in my carry-on or in another checked bag. So I’m still bringing the same total weight onboard.
While weight is critical for small planes it isn’t going to make a difference for any commercial jet.
4
When I was in college (back in the stone age) I filled a suitcase with 48 cans of Coors. It wasn’t available east of the Mississippi back then. The ancient porter could hardly lift it on to the cart.
4
Sneakery?
2
Are those shoes Subtractidas?
4
I met a guy who used to buy as many Kirby vacuum cleaner bags as he could get onto the airplane with when he traveled to Moscow. He sold them for a huge profit to a guy over there who had a vacuum shop. Who knew Kirby vacuums were huge in Russia? He would then bring back all the vodka he could using large pool noodles to protect the bottles from breaking.
3
I don’t think that what that guy was trying to do would work. Whether the luggage is sitting on the scale fully on its side, or in this case on one end, the mass would still be the same.
3
ha
4
After boarding a commuter plane in Atlanta with my very heavy friend, the flight attendant asked if we could seat ourselves further forward in the plane during takeoff. I was told to sit next to a young gal with an open seat. As soon as I sat down she got really snotty and complained she was hoping she would not have to sit next to anyone on this leg of her trip. So I said, well if I don’t sit here for takeoff we will probably crash and the possibility existed in with the weight redistribution. Did not hear another word from her, but the look on her face was priceless. Still one of my favorite travel stories.
Must be a butcher by trade.
…bag weight is no joke on an airplane, planes have been lost with their entire crew and passenger compliment because of luggage weight and placement issues.
You’re not scamming an airline, you’re putting yourself and everyone else on the plane, and some people on the ground, in danger.
Glad you saved a few pennies, though, asshole.
https://youtu.be/LkObvOgPaZc
You want to crash a plane? Because that’s how you crash a plane!
I once read a story about a guy who traveled by air often for his job, and a lot of times it was aboard small commuter planes. As one flight was loading, the woman sitting next to him confessed that she didn’t know it was for fuel calculations when the flight crew asked her for her wight and she lied by saying she was 5 lbs lighter than she actually was. The guy told her not to worry, he had been flying these puddle jumpers for years, and learned to add 10 lbs to his own weight for every female passenger he saw boarding the flight.
…not airplane related but female weight related @Peter the Bubblehead, when I was doing car alignments, if I had a car with a complaint about a pull to the right that I couldn’t feel on the test drive, I would try to see the guy in the waiting room with his wife.
This is because, more than once, I’d see that she was a big girl, to the point that her weight affected the alignment geometry, and sometimes even weakened the passenger side spring in an older car, affecting ride height.
Having established this, I would then either have a 300 pound tire buster sit on the passenger side while I aligned, or made a degree of camber and/or caster change (you could still change caster on some cars in SNS’s day) depending on tire wear patterns, and it worked every time.
…the service writers would some times alert me by putting an “FWA” on the notes. This stood for “Fat Wife Alignment”, although I have no idea what they told the CUSTOMER if asked…
If a few pounds can crash a plane, why don’t they weigh the morbidly obese, corpulent, endomorphs that stuff their fat asses in the fuselage?
PS, I like the alignment story SNS. 🙂
@Superns,
“FWA? That just means four wheel alignment, ma’am.”
@SNS
I have seen (4) 400+ TripleBs (black beach balls) climb out of an old Corolla, modern engineering is amazing.
That would be one rough ride down a dirt road.
It’s amusing to watch people at an international airport open their suitcases and start rearranging things. They’re so dumb, that nothing is taken out of their suitcase, they place it back on the scale and it’s still overweight! WTH! Watched a woman pull a gallon size jug of juice out of her bag and tossed it in the garbage. Her luggage met the weight allowance. Ever watch these border patrol youtube’s? I’m hooked on them. People acting stupid and they get caught. They’ve seen it all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Hd1WbonXZg
…next time your on a plane, @LocoBlancoSaltine, look for some little trianges. They show where the wings are. This is so, if a flight attendant needs to, ah, “redistribute some weight” for any reason, they may relocate the big kids between these markings to balance the aircraft better. So they DO take it into consideration, they just have to be diplomatic about it…
https://imagesvc.meredithcorp.io/v3/mm/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn-image.travelandleisure.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fstyles%2F1600x1000%2Fpublic%2F1498664408%2Fblack-triangle-airplane-cabin-symbols-AIRTRIANGLE0617.jpg%3Fitok%3DZHGPYuyL&w=450&c=sc&poi=face&q=85
…good answer, @Meerkat Brzezinski, good answer indeed…
Liberal, I’ll wager.
Of course the kicker is that if I have too much weight in the checked bag I will take out a couple of heavy items and put them in my carry-on or in another checked bag. So I’m still bringing the same total weight onboard.
While weight is critical for small planes it isn’t going to make a difference for any commercial jet.
When I was in college (back in the stone age) I filled a suitcase with 48 cans of Coors. It wasn’t available east of the Mississippi back then. The ancient porter could hardly lift it on to the cart.
Sneakery?
Are those shoes Subtractidas?
I met a guy who used to buy as many Kirby vacuum cleaner bags as he could get onto the airplane with when he traveled to Moscow. He sold them for a huge profit to a guy over there who had a vacuum shop. Who knew Kirby vacuums were huge in Russia? He would then bring back all the vodka he could using large pool noodles to protect the bottles from breaking.
I don’t think that what that guy was trying to do would work. Whether the luggage is sitting on the scale fully on its side, or in this case on one end, the mass would still be the same.
ha
After boarding a commuter plane in Atlanta with my very heavy friend, the flight attendant asked if we could seat ourselves further forward in the plane during takeoff. I was told to sit next to a young gal with an open seat. As soon as I sat down she got really snotty and complained she was hoping she would not have to sit next to anyone on this leg of her trip. So I said, well if I don’t sit here for takeoff we will probably crash and the possibility existed in with the weight redistribution. Did not hear another word from her, but the look on her face was priceless. Still one of my favorite travel stories.