You invite over the wrong person
and that roll is as good as gone.
Charmin has announced a new line of toilet paper that could last you an entire month.
It’s called the “Forever Roll” and it even comes with a FREE special holder.
“It’s the same 2-Ply Ultra Soft you know and love, and might just make you sing the Shiney Hiney song!” says Charmin.
A giant single roll runs anywhere from $5.49 and $9.99 depending if you’re purchasing for “one user” or “multi-user.”
A Forever Roll starter kit runs $29.97 and comes with three giants rolls and a free stand.
The reviews are off the charts, too!
“It is so nice that we do not have to change the roll all the time,” said one customer.
“Who likes changing rolls? No one, that’s who! This is the greatest bathroom upgrade,” another person said.
Comes in two varieties:
The Five Alarm Chili and The Taco Bellboy
Until you knock it over into the toilet.
You could get a new house for that in AOC’s America…
Oh, I thought the picture of the butch was the special holder.
A giant single roll runs anywhere from $5.49 and $9.99
I’m suing the writer of this article. There’s 1 product available on their site outside of the $29.97 starter kit and that’s the single giant roll for $9.99 and it doesn’t say dick about multi or single user. I’d like to know how it knows there’s more than one person horking the roll.
San Fransicko needs one of these and a disposal bin on every block. Its really not a bad idea.
Motorize it, add Wifi and a speaker and call Jeff Bezos.
“You’re either using too much tissue or not enough.”
This could be seen as Islamophobic.
Bring a roll to Venezuela and they will paints murals of you on the street corners.
Rosie, is that you?!
Fantastic. I can turn my lovely powder room, a comfortable place decorated in a sunflower theme, with
a nice granite countertop, from a traditional bathroom into a high volume truck stop shitter.
Good thinking. Im thinking that Charmin’s Mr, Whipple, who was totally high squeezing tp rolls and Biden quality weird in the 1980s, has now entered the race as another creepy dude running for the democrat nomination for 2020.
Or is Mr. Whipple dead?
It’s democrat politics. Not like a pulse matters.
I’ve been off paper for years. Once you go Cottonele Moist Wipes, you never look back.
‘a Rosie, by any other name, would smell as sweat’ ~ Shakespeare (paraphrased)
btw, that’s just industrial-sized rolls, the kind they use in the Sani-Johns … the Honey Wagons don’t like to change the rolls every day
Another market share loser? Remember designer color TP to go with bathroom colors? Very popular until it became evident that the colored variety was causing allergic reactions and infections in lots of users. A new gimmick doesn’t always pay off in profits, but can cause lawsuits for personal payoffs. However “green” is still okay for eco-liberals?
https://www.hunker.com/12363444/health-concerns-with-colored-toilet-paper
Anon, you do know that those moist wipes clog most municipalities don’t you?
Yes! Yes! Changing TP rolls is one of the hardest, most dangerous, and time-consuming household duties there is! I hate it, hate it, hate it! Sometimes I even “hold it in” so that somebody else has to wrestle the new roll in. </sarc>
*This product was test marketed in Hillary’s server room…
No matter how ridiculous a product you make there’s always a customer out there. AMC Pacer or Matador ring a bell?
So, now changing a shitter paper roll is too much for millennials?
My money’s on Stacey Abrahns…her roll goes ALL the way around the block and that ain’t talkin” toilet paper…She’s so big that Georgia is thinking of making her the state couch….there’s enough creases in her that if you could find the lost pennies Atlanta could give away gas….
An AMC Pacer, being an upside down fishbowl offering no privacy, combined with a never ending toilet paper roll.
Dude. I don’t shit out. Pucker factor 10. I cant crap on command like Occupy people.
My cat would see it as a scratching post.
No Charmin for me, it’s horrible if your on a septic system. Plus, I have grandkids, that would be so much fun when they filled up the toilet with a giant roll of toilet paper.
I use Charmin, but I won’t be buying that monstrosity. Both my bathrooms are small. I can see that big boy falling off and rolling into the hallway.
You’re going to sue? Will it be a ‘Ass action suit?’ Maybe Avenatti could be the lawyer- he’s looking for work, and is also a perfect asshole. A lot of people will sign up for that, I bet, but not our moslem friends. ‘Lifetime Roll?’ They already invented that 1400 years ago, but they call it their left hand.
Ditto on the truck stop shitter vibe.
It is nearly amazing how personal, bodily functions have been pushed to the forefront by liberal-minded pursuers of the destruction of the American moral fiber, heritage and culture.
Their endless actions should be a beacon of warning to all those that have faith, love and hope for this country.
Diane should comment more.
That would have been fun to throw off the top bleacher at college football games back in the day. One roll would blanket half the end zone.
TPing would be great fun. Might even be able to wrP an entire middle income home with perhaps three rolls. Dang, born too early again.
How about me Fur, should I comment more? 🙂
It comes with a holder: eric holder.
LocoBlancoSaltine-
You amuse me. I say comment more.
Thanks MJA,! 🙂
I plan to attack the comment section on this site like Joe Biden in a high-school girl’s shower!
Snnniiiffff…yum 🙂
BTW MJA, please keep your new avatar for a while.
Your avatars are always great but I really like this one.
I believe it really matches your iotw persona. 🙂
Oh, and let that be an inspiration for all the anonymous commentors on this site.
MJA has binders full of avatars!
“for “one user” or “multi-user.
I think I read that wrong. I envisioned a pretty disgusting 2 person activity.
F4U, I thought the same thing.
My stupid progressive older brother built a new house and decided not to install a door for his master bath.
All in the name of moonbattery.
Good luck with the resale…
Charmin is the worst. Used it for years and always had roids. Half of it would disintegrate in ass. Switched to cottonelle and roids were gone. Joked about Charmin owning prep h. Who knows they really might. Cottonelle wipes dissolve quick in water. Have had no problems with septic system.
I heard that Rosie had the new Kohler Turd Gobbler 4000 toilets installed in her home.
Heck, I could get through that Forever Roll in less than 5 minutes.