The only time it’s valid to be a backseat driver is when you’re riding with a driver that refuses to put down their “Smarty-pants” phone & the damned thing is going off about every 30 seconds.
“May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.”
5
YES! That’s why I am 99% in the driver’s seat. Even with friends. My wife has not driven me since 2007 when she picked me up drunk in a bar.
Teaching my children to drive to me would be like standing on a cliff in front of Joe Biden kissing me on the back of my neck.
So I had to out-source that one to driving teachers.
9
It’s gotten so bad with the gf second-guessing my driving that we frequently take two cars.
4
Do I have one of those?
No, but I have a stack of free passes to a hospital to remove my foot from your ass.
Nah, not really. But it may take awhile for the blood to return to your knuckles.
But most don’t experience that. However, when you’re able to speak again, try to remember the trip fondly. You’re alive.
52 years driving, zero accidents.
*ba da CRASH!*
6
A golfclub in back? Yea I got one of them.
It’s unlicensed though…
4
Anybody make out the signature?? WHO, at the Bureau of Nuisances is responsible for signing this off?
2
FYI. My wife is just a bad driver…
She’s Asian
She’s hot-headed vwhile driving
She honks a lot
She is constantly distracted, I will get texts from her 5 minutes right out of the driveway. So I know she is either driving or at a stop light. I always tell her it can wait until you are out of the car…There is a $500 texting while driving penalty here.
She tells me to honk people when I an driving (I don’t)
She tells me to pass drivers when I am driving (I don’t, if I shouldn’t)
= Bad driver
8
I ride a motorcycle most of the time and i get rib squeezes and helmet slaps and i ride calmly. Everyone is better at the job when they are not doing it.
5
Since January 20th, 1993, this has been Hillary’s official ID.
Even before that, Bill never complained. And everyone gives Michelle far more credit for being Barry’s ‘back up’ support then where she learned it from.
Hopefully you true IOTW skipped the previous newly self-minting Gas bag’s meaningless editorial,,,,
Pass the word.
4
Tom Cruise, Aayhole – Back seat driver to a ‘retard’.
OK What is the gesture appropriate for “I’m sorry I was a dumb ass”
Tired of waving a handgun to calm other driver’s nerves
9
Family Truckster just sold for $106k! 😮
2
“OK What is the gesture appropriate for “I’m sorry I was a dumb ass”
Tired of waving a handgun to calm other driver’s nerves.”
From the sacred texts of Lazlo.
5
My 2 kids used to play a game as to how far I could drive before wifey screamed out in fear. We would note the odometer and place our bets…The game came to an end a few years ago when I put the car in reverse to pull out of the garage and the scream happened because she thought she saw someone behind the car..it was the garbage can..
6
I don’t, but everyone who rides with me does.
3
I dont need no stinkin’ license.
My right eye wanders at night and i get double vision, so stay off the roads between 8 and midnight for your own safety.
3
Early in our marriage, the wife stopped slamming her hand on the glove box when she thought I was too close to the car in front of us after she saw an ophthalmologist and found out she had a defect or two in her sight.
For years afterward whenever she slammed the dash I would just look at her and tell her to put her glasses on. Thank you God for the eye doctors.
It was ridiculously trying on me until then. I don’t tailgate. I despise being that close behind other cars and besides… I can’t see the road ahead if I’m on your ass!
2
Thank yo , thank yo , thank you for introducing me to Emo Phillips.
When I die, I wanna die like my grampa who died peacefully in his sleep…
not screaming like all the passengers in his car!
I hate riding with most. NOBODY drives as well as I do……..
“Speaking the truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act.” Geo. Orwell
@Will Rogers: Ah, I see we have another Emo Phillips fan!
http://scomedy.com/quotes/16258
🙂
The only time it’s valid to be a backseat driver is when you’re riding with a driver that refuses to put down their “Smarty-pants” phone & the damned thing is going off about every 30 seconds.
No, but I’ve handed out a few of these…
http://redkirk.tripod.com/pages/parking.html
“May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.”
YES! That’s why I am 99% in the driver’s seat. Even with friends. My wife has not driven me since 2007 when she picked me up drunk in a bar.
Teaching my children to drive to me would be like standing on a cliff in front of Joe Biden kissing me on the back of my neck.
So I had to out-source that one to driving teachers.
It’s gotten so bad with the gf second-guessing my driving that we frequently take two cars.
Do I have one of those?
No, but I have a stack of free passes to a hospital to remove my foot from your ass.
Nah, not really. But it may take awhile for the blood to return to your knuckles.
But most don’t experience that. However, when you’re able to speak again, try to remember the trip fondly. You’re alive.
52 years driving, zero accidents.
*ba da CRASH!*
A golfclub in back? Yea I got one of them.
It’s unlicensed though…
Anybody make out the signature?? WHO, at the Bureau of Nuisances is responsible for signing this off?
FYI. My wife is just a bad driver…
She’s Asian
She’s hot-headed vwhile driving
She honks a lot
She is constantly distracted, I will get texts from her 5 minutes right out of the driveway. So I know she is either driving or at a stop light. I always tell her it can wait until you are out of the car…There is a $500 texting while driving penalty here.
She tells me to honk people when I an driving (I don’t)
She tells me to pass drivers when I am driving (I don’t, if I shouldn’t)
= Bad driver
I ride a motorcycle most of the time and i get rib squeezes and helmet slaps and i ride calmly. Everyone is better at the job when they are not doing it.
Since January 20th, 1993, this has been Hillary’s official ID.
Even before that, Bill never complained. And everyone gives Michelle far more credit for being Barry’s ‘back up’ support then where she learned it from.
Hopefully you true IOTW skipped the previous newly self-minting Gas bag’s meaningless editorial,,,,
Pass the word.
Tom Cruise, Aayhole – Back seat driver to a ‘retard’.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU1A0sHWYQg
OK What is the gesture appropriate for “I’m sorry I was a dumb ass”
Tired of waving a handgun to calm other driver’s nerves
Family Truckster just sold for $106k! 😮
“OK What is the gesture appropriate for “I’m sorry I was a dumb ass”
Tired of waving a handgun to calm other driver’s nerves.”
From the sacred texts of Lazlo.
My 2 kids used to play a game as to how far I could drive before wifey screamed out in fear. We would note the odometer and place our bets…The game came to an end a few years ago when I put the car in reverse to pull out of the garage and the scream happened because she thought she saw someone behind the car..it was the garbage can..
I don’t, but everyone who rides with me does.
I dont need no stinkin’ license.
My right eye wanders at night and i get double vision, so stay off the roads between 8 and midnight for your own safety.
Early in our marriage, the wife stopped slamming her hand on the glove box when she thought I was too close to the car in front of us after she saw an ophthalmologist and found out she had a defect or two in her sight.
For years afterward whenever she slammed the dash I would just look at her and tell her to put her glasses on. Thank you God for the eye doctors.
It was ridiculously trying on me until then. I don’t tailgate. I despise being that close behind other cars and besides… I can’t see the road ahead if I’m on your ass!
Thank yo , thank yo , thank you for introducing me to Emo Phillips.