And The Toast War Begins – IOTW Report

And The Toast War Begins

Tuesday, 14 April 2020, 20:00 Claudia Uncategorized 83

83 Comments on And The Toast War Begins

  8. OK, I’ll bite (pun intended)!

    Unless you’re toasting Pulman loaf bread, the proper way to cut the toast is vertically. The reason is the little lobes on either side toward the top of the slice: the indentation can be deep enough that the lobe part is only weakly attached and with some ways of holding the slice to eat it can fold over or even break off.

    This doesn’t apply to Pulman loaf bread. A Pulman pan has a cover so that the top doesn’t rise in the oven, and this yields perfectly square slices — no lobes! — which are very handy for making sandwiches sammiches. Pulman loaf toast is good no matter how you slice it. Or cut it in half. (-:

    Edit: Of course you don’t have to cut it at all. I do cut my toast because I use it as a pusher to make sure my fork is well loaded with egg, sausage, hash browns, grits, or whatever before shoveling it all into my mouth. Crisp bacon, of course, is properly eaten with the fingers.

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  9. I agree with those who say, why cut it?

    But as far as sandwiches go (yeah, yeah, I know … it’s TOAST war. So sue me!), I cut mine like A. It’s easer to rip off the unnecessary crust.

    Ann Nonymous Prime, YES! Dripping with butter!

    14

  23. @Ann Nonymous Prime:

    Uncle Al — Totally square toast? That’s just…bizarre. Butter or no butter.

    Bizarre? Grocery stores sell Pulman loaf bread. It’s labeled “sandwich loaf” usually. And bread without butter is like a bicycle without a seat. O-:

    @joe6pak – I don’t cut crisp bacon, but I do cut floppy bacon. I prefer mine so crisp that you can hold a strip horizontally by one end and it doesn’t bend or sag at all. Personal preference.

    8

  24. Can’t have any toast of any kind now, but my perfect toast would have to be evenly browned and only crusty – not hardened from being burnt. Kind of like going for a perfectly even browning of a marsh mallow.

    The most fantastic toaster I ever experienced was a Sunbeam two-slice edition that you gave a slight pop to the top of the slices after inserting them in the slots and they slowly lowered themselves into the toaster. They would pop up when done, but not launch out of the toaster.

    It had to be a 50s model, if i had to bet. It was THE toaster in the house all through my childhood and into my teens.

    They don’t build them like that any more.

    Every toaster since then has been a disappointment. Spoiled by a 50’s Sunbeam two-slicer.

    P.S. @ Uncle Al “I prefer mine so crisp that you can hold a strip horizontally by one end and it doesn’t bend or sag at all. Personal preference.”

    Only way. Nice crunchy fat, not burnt.

    9

  27. Uncle Al–

    Totally square bread would make me back off slowly, holding the butter knife in front of me.

    Toast should not have to come with a label saying, “this end up”.

    6

  32. I hear you, Dad.
    The toaster I grew up with was a ’50s vintage Toastmaster- heavy steel, chrome plating like the bumpers on a Buick Roadmaster.
    There was a matching waffle iron.

    10

  33. One side peanut butter than the other whatever JAMMIE ya like, and then fold it with the butta knife.

    Eat, rinse with a nice glass of milk, and repeat as necessary or required.

    7

  35. @Ann Nonymous Prime — No worries, I usually don’t buy Pulman loaf bread and I prefer toasted English muffins anyway (they hold more butter, IMO). Even for sammiches, I prefer “butter top” bread, and it has THREE crust irregularities instead of the usual two. But…more butter!

    8

  38. @Bob M.:

    Girls cut toast.

    Guys just eat it.

    We guys with mustaches cut toast, or sometimes rip it into pieces with our bare hands and then suck the butter off our fingers. Depends on whether anyone’s watching.

    8

  43. I use the fold method so nothing is able to escape, also fold bread for cowboy sammiches you eat w/one hand. folded also makes a great eatable tool once you are finished and it is soggy with goodies flavor, especially when you got no biscuits.

    6

  45. Jimmy
    APRIL 14, 2020 AT 8:56 PM
    “Only certain women get to cut my toast.”

    …would that be desperate ones, or only the ones slow enough for you to catch?

    …and can you trust either group with even a butter knife?

    ..just playin’ Jimmy…;)

    5

  47. Dammit Jimmy. You got to cheese cutting before me.

    For American cheese I recommend symmetry. 90 degree angles
    Cheddar? I recommend 45 degree angles.
    Monterrey Jack? It’s a California cheese. Tear it into irregular pieces and serve it on a soiled sidewalk.

    7

  49. Yes! And I ain’t playin’, Supernightshade! I take my toast VERRRY seriously.

    Really good butter (fermented is best)
    Really good peanut butter (you have to butter fast for toast to be warm)
    Really good strawberry jam on top.

    Get. Me. Out. Of. Here. (Claudia’s fault!)

    8

  56. Since my sisters and I have been on Keto, no toast. No bread. We packed our toaster a year before we moved and it’s still packed.

    Sigh. Why did I post this? 😬

    14

  57. @Racist – you need a nice slice of Jewish onion rye with butta, and I LOVE my bisquick biscuits btw, as a Yankee.

    Nice and fluffy.

    The thing is, can your southern biscuits fit in a northern toaster?

    Sliced of course but even then, you need a mini toaster for that.

    5

  59. ” Can’t have any toast of any kind now, ”
    Dadof4, we must be cousins.
    I can’t either.

    But if I’m forced to eat it I don’t cut it – and I likes muh butter.
    i think the cutting is just so they can fit it on a small plate at restaurants.

    5

  60. So, a few minutes ago, I had to go into the kitchen, cut two fat slices of baguette, butter them and bring them back to the computer to eat. Now, there are crumbs all over the place reminding me that they tasted like MOAR!

    The problem is… bread. It’s seems impossible to give up.

    6

  62. “But if I’m forced to eat it I don’t cut it – and I likes muh butter.”

    Agreed! Real butter.

    “The problem is… bread. It’s seems impossible to give up.”
    – Jimmy APRIL 14, 2020 AT 9:36 PM

    I didn’t realize how hard it was until I had to. It just ain’t a sammich without the bread. Nor is it a hotdog without the bun.

    2

  64. Try making a batch of french toast using challah bread, eat the first wave and then freeze second and third waves, then as needed, pull as required and stick in the toaster.

    Uhhhhh, huh…Talk about a great mornin’ quickie…

    4

  66. Dip the bread in a mixture of egg, milk, and vanilla, skip the toaster and fry on both sides in a pan coated in butter, add some more melted butter on top, along with some maple syrup. Then, cut into bite sized pieces.

    6

  67. So do you guys unwind a cinnamon roll and eat it a piece at a time or do you just bite into it whole?

    The reason I ask is I had a girlfriend who nearly went apoplectic when I would unwind mine. That was 40 years ago and it still sticks with me how offended she was that I was somehow disrespecting the damn integrity of a pastry by unwinding it.

    11

  70. @Chip Kale — It was the Toastmaster 1B14, probably the Cadillac of toasters in the 1950’s. And it looks like a Cadillac bumper part! I couldn’t get my first one repaired and was lucky to find another at a garage sale for about $5. Replaced the cord and have using it for the past 30+ years. I love its design.

    http://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/WOMAAOSwoudW8aex/s-l300.jpg

    American made quality. Can’t name a single other appliance in my home that gets near-daily use and hasn’t needed a repair.

    3

  72. Uncle Al has it correct, simply tear it apart in pieces as you eat it. Why dirty a knife? Drag the pieces through the butter with your fingers, makes it easier to maximize the butter intake.

    6

  74. Can we at least AGREE that a ‘toaster oven’ is NO way to do toast? It must be done IN a TOASTER!!!! You know, down goes that toast, up pops the toast.

    Thanks to those toastie ENGINEERS and DESIGNERS!!

    Also? Will you eat it IF overcooked?? THAT is the test. Butta or no butta?

    If ya won’t? Then it becomes breadcrumbs or birdcrumbs…

    I’m beginning to sound like my mom so NEVERMIND!

    4

  79. #Outdoorjohn
    Ding ding ding!

    There ain’t enough butter if it isn’t running out both ends, down your forearm to the elbow, after you fold it up!
    Nectar of the gods, that butter is.
    I sometimes forego the toast, and just warm up the butter in a large mixing spoon.

    2

  80. “Since my sisters and I have been on Keto, no toast. No bread. We packed our toaster a year before we moved and it’s still packed.”

    A few years back a company in the midwest was selling low carb bread but it wasn’t really. LOWER carb maybe, but it still was a trap (“oooh, one more slice won’t hurt, after all it’s low carb…” I told myself).

    2

  81. grool, yeah, you have to be a dietician to be able to read the lable and know what they are trying to pull over on you. Luckily, one of my sister’s is a registered dietician.

    2

  83. Here’s the deal. Unsliced and completely covered with lots of real butter. “D” is only done for a properly made Hot Brown. My mom was born in Louisville in 1918 and she always used to remind me how the Hot Brown came to be. The historic Brown Hotel on Broadway and 4th St served magnificent Thanksgiving meals every year. The chef came up with a special dish to get rid of all the leftover turkey. The Hot Brown was born.

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