The Babylon Bee – The nation’s men have urged their state and local governments to end their respective lockdowns before their wives start any more massive home improvement projects they’ll inevitably have to help with.
Projections indicate that for every week the lockdown continues, your spouse will start an average of 17.5 new DIY home improvement projects, from painting a room or refinishing an old dresser to putting up shiplap or barn doors.
“This is a crisis. I’m basically living in an HGTV show now,” shouted Los Angeles man Edgar Willis as his wife, Heather, operated a circular saw.
Finish reading here.
This headline threw me. It says DYI…..’DO YOU IN’?….Hell, that could probably go both ways….
Wives are too busy running State and Local Governments and Society into bankruptcy
Why aren’t THEY building Homeless Subway Cars yet
I agree. She got started cleaning out the attic at her Mom’s house because the access door to the attic would soon be blocked after a stair chair lift was installed. Which was fine. But she didn’t leave it Mom’s house. She brought the infection home to our attic and garage.
Additionally the fabric center is closed. She can no longer go to the 2 or three weekly quilting, embroidery classes or PHD (projects half done) projects.
No. She stays home and bakes once or twice each week = at least four dozen different types of muffins or pound cakes. My will power to not overeat them is generally up to the task. But – warm, right out of the oven is a tsunami event. Apple, carrot-black walnut, strawberry, zucchini, poppy seed, blue berry muffins are a flash flood that can not long be ignored. The best defense thus far is to ignore social distancing. Invite friends to come over and demand they take a couple of dozen or three home with them.
The real story is Osama Bin Laden called in the SEAL team to take him out.
Five years cooped up with three wives would do it to anyone.
Official: Sir, you have two options for the quarantine.
Option A – stay locked up at home with your wife…
Dude: B!
Official: You said B before I could give you the details.
Dude: I know…
Funny. We went to Five Guys for carryout burgers and fries tonight. Preordered. Decided to be Americans and eat on a patio table.
But decided to hit Home Depot on the way home.
CLOSED AT 6? WTF? Same with Bass Pro.
So DIY is DEAD without materials. Sorry sweet pants. Home Depot is closed.
LOL willysgoatgruff- Fixed it. Thanks.
A B C
Okay, wife is one thing, my girl friend had me mow the lawn today, vacuum out her car, fix the upstairs toilet, which is never used but once a year – maybe. Mop the kitchen floor. Replaced battery in wall clock and drive her to the wine store, where I lost $20. She asked me when I would be back when I left – I told her I’d call.
Hey C,
This VERY topic was discussed on the ‘male/female hour’ today on the Dennis Prager show.
Very good stuff, he had on Alice Armstrong. Turns out? Both male and female have their own ‘honey do lists’ for each other mentally, in their own minds, and IF you have a relationship to begin with, there is a win/win for both…as long as you get to your list! :>o
Ghost
I’m pretty much Tom Sawyer so I finagled some help for my projects.
Upside? Everything’s done.
Downside? The hell do I do now?
Thanks for the fix, MJA! My fingers got in the way of each other!
@AB- but did the help do the brush stroke and not the use the roller?? For that picket fence?
Did you watch for side drips and runs?
Guys own fault for telling her all last year it would get done when he had time.
KARMA has struck !